


to find you in the horizon

by boxysmiles



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Pirate, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Fluff and Angst, Going on a journey to retrieve an amnesiac mermaid's memories, M/M, Magical ships and helpful Goddesses, Memory Loss, Mermaids, Presumed Dead, aka just another day for the crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-24
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:07:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 47,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22784887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxysmiles/pseuds/boxysmiles
Summary: The Ateez pirate crew lost their first mate, Seonghwa, to the seas. Months later, Hongjoong is saved from drowning by someone he never thought he'd see again.It's Seonghwa. Except now he's a mermaid, and doesn't remember any of them.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 99
Kudos: 634





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Second part will be uploaded in a few days!

The moment Hongjoong is thrown overboard, he only has time to think _please, we’ve lost so much already, at least let them find my body._

It’s a desperate prayer to the Goddess of the Seas, and he can only hope it’s received before he sinks below the waves.

He doesn’t pray to be saved, because his last action had been pushing Wooyoung to the side to avoid the sea monster’s grasp — and if he prays to be saved, then he’s scared it’ll be balanced by taking someone else in his place.

The sea monster had let go the moment Hongjoong was airborne, letting him hit the waves alone. He wasn’t flung too far, and he’s thankful for that, because it means it’ll be easier for the crew to find his body if he doesn’t make it back.

He can be given the rites, peacefully crossing into the next land, giving the crew members some peace and closure.

They never got to give the rites to Seonghwa.

Once the shock passes of being flung into the water at high speeds and somehow not being injured, he starts to struggle to get above the water. His cloak is ridiculously heavy, fighting against him, and he desperately twists and turns to get it off.  
  
If he can just get back to the ship, at least _touch_ it, he should be able to give one final command to find the nearest land, getting everyone else out of range of the monster. They didn’t have any time to prepare for the sea monster below them, the monster immediately reaching onboard and trying to find the crew while they were almost defenceless.

And Hongjoong doesn’t know _who_ the ship will listen to if he’s not there. It’s only listened to Seonghwa once, when he was so desperate to save them all, but that— that was a last, final wish, and Hongjoong’s going to make sure that if there's a last wish to be made today, it will only be his.

But even his desperation, the will to save the others, is nothing compared to the way the water keeps him weighed down, keeping him from taking in a lifesaving breath of air. The waves are rough, and the sea monster has only upset them more so. He hadn’t been able to hold his breath once he hit the water, giving him less time, less chance to struggle to the surface.

He knows he’s losing, his limbs getting slower and slower, the sky above him getting further and further.  
  
 _Please, please. They can’t lose me too. They’ve lost too much already._

Desperation for breath is hard to battle, but he knows that once he inhales, it’s all over. Painfully so, even if he doesn’t think anything could be as painful as this right now, so desperate to just _breathe._

He hopes Seonghwa hadn’t struggled in such pain like this. That maybe he was unconscious from his wound before he finally inhaled, before he could realise that he was going to die alone and scared and in such awful, awful pain.

His chest aches, and he thinks this is it, these are his last moments. It has to be, because his vision’s going dark, and there’s someone so achingly familiar in front of him.

Someone he’s only lately seen in his best dreams, his worst nightmares.

It hurts to think he’s forgotten anything about Seonghwa, but staring at him now, he realises he has. He’s forgotten so much. His memory had blurred just how bright his eyes were, how sharp his jaw and cheekbones were, the details of the scars on his bare shoulders that Hongjoong used to spend so much time trying to memorise.

It’s perhaps cruel that Seonghwa isn’t smiling, not warm and like Hongjoong remembers him. Cruel that death couldn’t even give him this, in the end. Seonghwa might be here to greet him for the next life, to say goodbye with him to this one, but it’s not warm or friendly — it’s just a reminder of what he’s lost. What he’s leaving behind.

Seonghwa suddenly surges forward, right as Hongjoong goes to breathe in. His lungs can’t take anymore, and — if Seonghwa’s here, then that’s okay. He’s not as scared now, he’s not alone.

He just wishes Seonghwa had been with someone as well.

He must’ve closed his eyes, because he’s not prepared for the feeling of something pressed against his lips. Air is rushed into his mouth, down into his lungs, and he almost chokes on the feeling of it.

His limbs feel weak and heavy, and he still can’t open his eyes, but he does his best to hold onto the oxygen in his lungs. His body is moved around, and he can tell that he’s holding onto something, onto _someone,_ and that water is rushing by him now.

Suddenly, he’s breaking the surface, desperately breathing in and out before he’s even properly registered he’s somehow made it above the water. Feeling starts to return to his body with every desperate, stuttering breath, and he slowly opens his eyes.

He’s holding onto someone, wrapped around their back and his arms weakly crossed over their neck and shoulders. They’re bobbing steadily with the waves, but able to stay afloat despite the rough element.

“My crew,” Hongjoong weakly rasps. He’s still stunned with the knowledge that he’s somehow _alive,_ and someone’s apparently holding him — had _saved_ him — but the thought of his crew is the most he can focus on now. “My ship.”

He’s able to gesture vaguely in the direction of _Ateez,_ his most beloved ship that’s looking a little worse for wear. But there’s no sea monster, which first sends worry through him. It might mean the monster has taken everyone, but he calms himself quickly. Sea monsters look to sink ships, and care little for the bodies on board of it — they just strive to get rid of them first to meet minimal resistance.

If the ship is afloat, his crew must’ve chased the monster away.

The man beneath him turns to try and make eye contact, and Hongjoong’s heart stops.

Seonghwa’s face wasn’t a vision. It wasn’t the Goddess sending someone to guide him to the afterlife.

Seonghwa is the one that saved him, is keeping him afloat, and currently holding onto him.

Hongjoong lets out a panicked, choked noise. He must be dead now. He never really broke the surface, his body is just continuing its descent to the bottom of the sea floor, and he’s joined Seonghwa in the afterlife.

“Seonghwa?” He asks, because the man beneath him _is._

This is Seonghwa. Hongjoong’s first mate, his best friend, the crew’s missing presence. Lost at sea months ago, with no body to be found, no rites given for the afterlife, and no hope that he had survived.

This is Seonghwa, and he’s alive.

But the man furrows his eyebrows, the look of confusion so blatant across his face. It’s a look Hongjoong rarely got to see, Seonghwa always putting up a front of confidence around the others, and always his wholehearted trust in Hongjoong — leaving little room to be lost and confused.

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says again, now trying to move to see him better. Seonghwa titters as Hongjoong tries to swim around to the front to see him properly, but Hongjoong keeps his arms securely around Seonghwa’s neck, which placates him a little. “You’re really alive?”

He’s a little weak to be kicking around above the waves, and Seonghwa just tilts his head in confusion before shaking his head. Seonghwa tries to get him onto his back again, but Hongjoong reaches a hand out now, brushing back his hair.

“Hwa,” He manages to get out, this time his voice is thick, choked up as his eyes start to water. Seonghwa frowns at this, then shakes his head again and seems to turn his attention to getting Hongjoong to hold onto him again.

“I don’t think I understand what you mean,” Seonghwa tells him, which shocks Hongjoong enough that he goes still. Seonghwa takes the chance to get him properly onto his back again. “I think you might’ve been under too long and have gotten confused. I’m sorry.”

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong’s voice is timid, heart beating in his chest. It is _,_ this is definitely his — _their_ — Seonghwa. “You... It’s you. Don’t you remember? We thought you were _dead,_ Hwa.”

He cuts himself off, starting to realise. The reason that Seonghwa was underwater, why he’s able to so steadily keep above the waves, what it is that Hongjoong’s legs are pressed up against when the waves crash them closer together.

“Mermaid,” he breathes out. He manages to look beneath the waves long enough to catch the glimmering red tail beneath him, moving with steady strength to keep them both above the water. “ _Shit.”_

Their Seonghwa. But not the one they know, not entirely.

Tales of mermaids are easy to come by on the seas. That they drown sailors and pirates alike, sing and seduce them beneath the waves. That they camouflage as humans on land to feast on their flesh, overtake ships and steer crews to their death. Omens of good fortune, of bad fortune, navigators to treasure, navigators to death. Tales to spook friends, to unsettle strangers, but rarely believed in by the average person on land.

Hongjoong’s never seen one before, nor met anyone that has. There were whispers, years ago, about one on sale at a black-market auction. Only available to view for the rich and prestigious. The price amount he heard was staggering, more than anything he’s ever heard before.

Maybe, he thinks, mermaids possess drowned bodies. Take their faces, just to torment the ones left behind.

But even though Seonghwa might not recognise him, Hongjoong recognises him — thinks he could, even if Seonghwa’s soul possessed another’s body. It’s Seonghwa, it’s just that he doesn’t remember.

“That ship?” Seonghwa asks, once Hongjoong’s fallen silent in thought, gesturing with a hand to _Ateez_. Hongjoong can only nod, barely stopping himself from saying _yeah, Seonghwa, you know our ship._

Seonghwa moves slowly, obviously not used to the added weight, as well as trying to keep them both above water. It doesn’t feel real at all. He wants to ask why, _how,_ what happened — but all he can do is keep his mouth closed against the spray of sea water.

They start to slow once they get closer to the ship, and Hongjoong can just see the others frantically running around on deck, two of them overlooking the side of the ship. _Looking for him. For a body._

“Do you really not know me?” Hongjoong asks quietly, afraid of what Seonghwa will reply with.

Seonghwa seems to falter, but doesn’t move to look at Hongjoong. “If I did, I don’t remember.”

“What do you remember then?” Hongjoong almost pleads, because it has to be something, _anything._

Seonghwa takes in a steady breath, then shakes his head. “Nothing, except for a couple months ago.”

Hongjoong’s own breath is shaky, eyes scrunching tightly together and he lets his head drop forward. He’s lost Seonghwa once already, found him, only to feel like he’s lost him again.

Seonghwa seems to have come to a realisation. “But you… knew me?” He sounds skeptical, like he doesn’t trust Hongjoong with anything — and that’s the evidence that Seonghwa really doesn’t remember him at all. Seonghwa has always, always trusted him.

“I _do,”_ Hongjoong replies. Maybe not the mermaid beneath him, but this is still Seonghwa. Just with a tail and no memories — which, honestly, still isn’t convincing Hongjoong that he really didn't drown and that this isn't the afterlife.

Seonghwa still seems reluctant to believe him, and Hongjoong looks at the ship again, watching as one of them finally seems to spot them.

“They know you too,” Hongjoong says, and Seonghwa tilts his head in consideration. “They know you as Seonghwa. You’re part of our crew.”

 _That_ seems to shake Seonghwa up a little, his tail stopping for a moment as they both drop beneath the water, before he regains his senses and hauls them both up again.

“ _Hongjoong!”_ A voice cries out, faintly recognising it as Wooyoung's. Hongjoong raises up a hand to wave back, watching as they frantically start to move to the rowboats.

“Seonghwa,” he whispers under his breath, reciting his own name. “That’s me?”

“It’s you,” Hongjoong promises. “Born the same year as me. Your mother was a pirate, but settled with your father on land. We met as teenagers, five years ago, and you became my first mate when I became captain of _Ateez_ two years ago.”

“I... I don’t _remember.”_

They’re both panicking a little, but Hongjoong _can’t_ freak out Seonghwa and have him leave, yet he needs to somehow get Seonghwa to stay as well. “I know.”

“You could be lying.” Seonghwa doesn’t sound like he believes it even as he says it. He just sounds lost, understandably so for someone that can’t remember anything of their life except for the past couple of months.

Reassurances aren’t enough, and Hongjoong watches quietly as two of the crew get onto a rowboat, the others lowering it to the water. “They’re coming here to get me. They’ll see you, and they know you too. They’ll say your name.”

“It could be a trick,” Seonghwa argues, but he hasn’t left yet. “I was told not to trust humans.”

_You are one. Were one. You trusted me more than anyone possibly could._

There’s also the question of _who_ told Seonghwa that, but they’re probably not wrong. Most likely, anyone other than the _Ateez_ crew would’ve posed a threat to a mermaid so easily in their grasp. And if the mermaid _wasn't_ Seonghwa, then _Ateez_ very well could have posed a threat to them.

He doesn’t say or ask any of that. Instead, he just looks to Seonghwa, who doesn’t return his gaze. “Then why did you save me?”

It’s wishful thinking that Seonghwa will have a moment of clarity, will suddenly remember who Hongjoong is, but he’s still disappointed when Seonghwa just sags forward, shaking his head in turmoil. “I don’t know.”

He wants to push, to say _because you know me. You’re always saving me, even if I couldn’t save you in the end. You_ know _me._

But he fears it’ll just push Seonghwa’s turmoil into unfavourable territory, so he just sighs and watches as the rowboat starts to row closer.

“You can move away, if you want, when they’re near. We’re not trying to trick you and we won’t hurt you. But we — _they_ know you, and we’d never do you harm.” Hongjoong offers it tentatively, nervous about Seonghwa just taking it and leaving Hongjoong to meet the rowboat on his own. But Seonghwa doesn’t move, just watches the approaching rowboat warily.

“But just don’t leave. Please. We can help you get your memory back.” That, of all things, seems to work. Seonghwa seems to settle just a little, but is still warily watching the rowboat. “Just trust us, okay? You saved me, and I owe you my life for it. It’s the least we can do.”

“If anything happens,” Seonghwa starts, this time properly turning to look at him. “I’ll drown you myself.”

The threat, in all honesty, is rather terrifying. Seonghwa is _serious,_ like Hongjoong would let anything happen to him, like the thought of it doesn’t have his chest caving with an all-too familiar ache. The thought that they’d hurt each _other_ is all too painful.

Hongjoong just nods to it, not trusting his words. He looks out to try and identify who’s on the rowboat, finally recognising Yeosang and San.

“They’re going to be really shocked,” Hongjoong warns, because there’s no time to delicately approach them now. He’s too scared that if he lets go of Seonghwa, he’ll just disappear beneath the water, becoming the mirage Hongjoong fears he is. “And really confused. I’ll do my best to explain and calm them down.”

Because this was a dream they all had, at the beginning, when they hoped they might find Seonghwa. That they’d be able to see his face, maybe punch him lightly for worrying them all, and then embrace him and take him back home together.

The dream changed, after a while. Hopes that they’d find his body, at _least,_ to give him the rites. Even that they’d be haunted by his spirit, just so they know he never really left them.

This is something Hongjoong hasn’t let himself consider in many, many weeks now. That they’d all get to see Seonghwa again. How they would react to that. How they’re now going to react to Seonghwa being his saviour, a _mermaid,_ but with no memory of any of them.

“Captain!” San cries out, waving frantically as Yeosang rows. He can make out their features now, which means they’ll see Seonghwa at any second. They won’t be expecting it, so it’ll take them just a moment, but —

Yeosang suddenly stops rowing, the oars slipping through his fingers. San whips around to face him, surprised but ready for action, reaching over to quickly save the oars. Hongjoong can’t hear what San says over the waves, but it seems worried.

Yeosang hasn’t broken his gaze with Seonghwa, paling considerably. San finally takes notice, turning to see what Yeosang’s staring at, and Hongjoong can place the moment he recognises Seonghwa with him.

“Seonghwa?” It’s too quiet to reach them, but his lips read clearly enough. The oars almost drop a second time, but San manages to tighten his grip at the last moment.

 _Don’t leave, just don’t leave,_ is all Hongjoong can think, because his words are failing him. He tightens his grip just a little, which seems to snap Seonghwa out of whatever daze he’s gone into, hesitantly swimming up closer to the rowboat.

“That— that’s Seonghwa, isn’t it?” San asks, eyes quickly meeting Hongjoong’s, then snapping back to Seonghwa like he’ll disappear in the moment he looks away. “You— You’re alive. Oh my _God, hyung.”_

San and Yeosang look like they’re about to scramble off the rowboat and tackle both of them, but Hongjoong manages to reach out a hand in a signal to stop. They both take a moment to properly focus on him, still not wanting to look away from Seonghwa, but at least stop their attempt to dive off the rowboat.

“Seonghwa?” Yeosang asks, softly, seeming to realise that something isn’t quite right. “Hyung?”

Seonghwa shifts with uncertainty beneath him, and Hongjoong takes a deep breath. The two on the rowboat are waiting for Hongjoong’s words, but impatiently trying to take in as much of the scene as possible, to figure out what's going on.

“It’s Seonghwa,” Hongjoong reassures. They’re restless, moving just enough to spot the glimpse of red beneath the water, and Hongjoong hurries to explain before they ask. “He saved me. He’s a... Well, he’s a mermaid. And he doesn’t remember anything except for a couple of months ago.”

There’s a stunned silence as they both seem to take it in. It still doesn’t feel real to Hongjoong, even with Seonghwa in his grip beneath him. A _mermaid._

A goddamn amnesiac mermaid.

“Hyung?” San’s voice properly breaks this time, reaching out like he wants to hold Seonghwa, but Seonghwa just flinches back. San recoils, hesitantly tucking his arm closer to himself. “Sorry, I — sorry.”

“He doesn’t remember us?” Yeosang asks, usually not one to show his worry, but it’s so palpable it makes Hongjoong’s heart ache. “Not at all?”

“No,” Hongjoong confirms. “Not at all.”

Hongjoong’s seen a lot of heartbreak in the past few months alone. Seen it on his crew’s face, seen and felt it on his own. But it’s slowly been patched over — not healed, but helped with careful, cautious hands of the crew.

But Hongjoong can see all the ways their hearts break again in front of him, for all different reasons. They’ve lost so much already. How cruel it is to have found Seonghwa, but then lose him all over again.

“We’re going to help him,” Hongjoong reassures, glancing at Seonghwa. “We’ll help you get your memory back.”

“Yeah, we will,” San says, confident despite how tight his voice is. “Of course we will.”

“We need to—” Yeosang starts, stopping as he takes a moment to regain his thoughts. “You need to get back to the ship, Captain. She won’t listen without you, and while we scared off the monster for now, it could come back any moment.”

“Hyu— Seonghwa,” San’s voice is so quiet it’s almost lost to the wind. “We’ll help you, so you’ll come back to the ship with us, right?”

Hongjoong, in a surreal moment, thinks he’s not entirely sure how he’s going to get a mermaid onboard his ship. Tales say little for how to care for a mermaid, or what to do when one saves you and then turns out it’s your long lost first mate who’s now got amnesia.

“How many are aboard the ship now?” Seonghwa asks, snapping Hongjoong out of his little crisis.

“Four,” Yeosang replies. “Ei— Seven of us, total.”

Seonghwa seems to frown, glancing out at the ship. “Only that many to run a ship that big?”

San laughs a little, but it’s hollow. “She is commanded by our Captain, follows his directions and orders for the most part. Makes sailing a lot easier.”

They all turn to look at Hongjoong, who shrugs a little at the explanation. It explains it all, really. Hongjoong worked hard to command his ship, and he’s proud of that, but knows he has a long way to go with it. Still, _Ateez_ is a remarkable ship on her own, and could be commanded without a captain if needed.

Seonghwa still has a couple of moments of thought, looking at all of them before he seems to come to a conclusion. “Okay,” he says, and they all breathe a sigh of relief.

Hongjoong’s reluctant to let go of Seonghwa, but he promises to follow them to the ship, and Hongjoong manages to haul himself into the rowboat. It’s small, barely big enough for the three of them, but he manages to squeeze in.

Seonghwa follows from the back, holding onto the boat. Yeosang’s rowing, and he’s pretty sure Seonghwa’s helping push them. He looks over the boat to try and properly glimpse Seonghwa’s tail — it still doesn’t feel real, like the flashes of red beneath the water are just a trick of the light. Like he’ll disappear once Hongjoong’s awaken from whatever dream he’s trapped in.

“The others,” San starts nervously, glancing back at the ship. “How do we tell them?”

“All together,” Hongjoong decides quickly, because it’s not fair to ask them to hold the burden separately. He already feels bad enough for Yeosang and San. “We should… Maybe tell them first, before they see him. It’ll be overwhelming, for them, and for Seonghwa.”

They’re getting closer to the ship, close enough to be in eyesight, and Hongjoong debates internally for a moment before leaning over the boat, looking at Seonghwa. “To make it easier, will you wait? Beneath the waves, where they can’t see you, until we can explain it to them?”

“How will I know when to appear?” Seonghwa asks, even though Hongjoong can tell he wants to ask more, that he’s still suspicious of them.

“Mingi may or may not jump in to find you,” San mutters, and when Seonghwa’s eyes widen with panic, he backpedals quickly. “It’s okay, we won’t let him! We’ll… throw something else in the water? Something red, so you can see it.”

Seonghwa nods, and before any of them can do anything about it, he slips down into the water below. They quickly lose sight of him, but Hongjoong sees a glimpse of the red moving closer to the ship.

“Was that real?” San asks, right as they get near the ship. “He was real, right?”

Yeosang sighs, slowing as he approaches the ship, throwing the oars to Hongjoong as he grabs the rope thrown down to them. “Well, depends on if you believe in mermaids. Ones that look like missing—”

He stops himself as he looks at Hongjoong, lowering his head. “Sorry. I think I’m panicking a little.”

“So am I.” Hongjoong claps him on the back once before they make it to the side of the ship. He looks up just as Mingi throws down another rope from deck, and he grasps it and starts to tie it to the rowboat, Yeosang at the other end.

Hauling up rowboats is always an effort, particularly when there’s three on one boat. Still, the others manage to get them up, mostly thanks to Jongho’s effort. The second Hongjoong is safely on deck, he’s surrounded as Yunho and Wooyoung hug him desperately.

“ _Hyung,”_ Yunho’s voice breaks with the word, his fingers clutching at Hongjoong’s wet clothes. “We thought you… _Shit._ We thought we lost you.”

Hongjoong’s trying to pat their heads in comfort, his own heart a weird mix of broken and yet the most _whole_ it’s been in months. He apologises, over and over, continuing even as Wooyoung and Jongho both pull him into their own hugs.

Jongho’s is short lived, but more than anything Hongjoong expected. His own thoughts are still whirling with just _Seonghwa,_ over and over, and he hasn’t let himself think about how much he scared the crew.

They all step back and give him a little bit of room, but they’re hovering around him, keeping him in their sight. Yeosang breaks away from the group for a moment to retrieve a large blanket for Hongjoong, wrapping it over his shoulders.

“We’ll move to land soon,” Hongjoong reassures, pulling the blanket tighter around him, feeling the nervous tension between the crew. “But first there’s… something you should all know. Yeosang and San already do, as they found out when they got me.”

He doesn’t think he can do this standing, but he forces himself to square his shoulders and face his crew, because he needs to be _certain_ in what he’s saying. If he’s not, they won’t believe him, not the way Hongjoong _needs_ them to right now.

“I was rescued from drowning,” Hongjoong starts with, and all of their eyes widen a little. They were probably too caught up in battle to look for him, to try and see if he had made it until they had dealt with the monster. “Right before I breathed in the water, I was saved. I didn’t… believe it at first. I thought I had died, and that I was seeing a ghost.”

San ducks his head, staring out now to the ocean around them. Hongjoong carefully makes eye contact with the rest of his crew, showing them he’s certain of his words. “It wasn’t a ghost. It was a mermaid. And, I promise, it was Seonghwa.”

There’s a couple of gasps, and Wooyoung straight up almost chokes. Hongjoong nods to Yeosang, signalling him to find something to get Seonghwa’s attention. He moves quickly, leaving Hongjoong and San to deal with the fallout.

Jongho’s eyes are wide, disbelieving, mouth open. Wooyoung’s eyes are watering again, a hand clasped over his mouth, with Yunho in a similar position. But it’s Mingi that gives him pause, who’s looking at him with sympathetic, sad eyes.

Mingi reaches a hand out, putting it on Hongjoong’s shoulder. “Hyung, it couldn’t have been. He... he went overboard, fatally injured, and he was _not_ a mermaid. It couldn’t have been him, you must’ve been scared and confused.”

The words seem to really cause pain to say, because he’s hurting for Hongjoong. Thinks Hongjoong's finally let his grief consume him now, to a point that’s too far. Hongjoong can see the words filling doubts into the others, and he shakes his head.

“I was." Hongjoong confesses, but continues before Mingi thinks he's completely right. "Because I thought Seonghwa was gone, and I still — honestly, I still think I’m at the bottom of the ocean. But it was Seonghwa. San and Yeosang saw him as well.”

This turns the attention onto San, and then to Yeosang who’s walked back onto the deck, holding a small red flag in his hand.

Hongjoong can tell his crew are _hoping_ to hear the best, but expecting the worst. For San and Yeosang to shake their heads, to deny ever seeing him.

But San just takes a step forward, nodding. “It’s definitely him. He had Hongjoong on his back when we rowed out to them.”

The confirmation finally seems to sink in, and Yunho’s knees tremble so badly that Hongjoong has to wrap a hand around his waist to keep him up.

“Where— where is he then? If he was…” Jongho trails off, following Yeosang’s gaze to the rowboat. “If he was with you, why isn’t he here?”

“He doesn’t remember.” Hongjoong’s words are shaky, but steady enough that they carry heavily enough among the crew. “He doesn’t remember us, or even his name. He says he can only remember up to a couple of months ago.”

“How is that even _possible?”_ Wooyoung asks, surprising Hongjoong with the amount of disbelief in his voice. “How does someone lose all of their memories, and turn into a _mermaid?”_

“I really don’t know. But we promised we’d help him get his memories back, because that might’ve been the only way to keep him with us for now.”

“He really doesn’t remember us then,” Mingi says, after a stunned silence has rung out amongst them. He’s cautious, like he still isn't sure he believes it, isn’t hopeful enough to.

“Without his memories he has no reason to trust us.” Yeosang’s voice is clear, once again just stating facts. It doesn’t help ease the hurt in all of their chests, but it keeps them focused, from acting purely on their upset emotions. “We have to handle this carefully, we can’t — we can’t lose him, but we might if we’re not considerate.”

“Where is he now?” Yunho asks. He’s wrapped around Jongho, which is a way to support Jongho, but also to ground himself as well.

Hongjoong glances to Yeosang, and then walks to the side of the ship, leaning against the railing as he faces the crew. They all seem impatient, ready to see Seonghwa, but he stops them in place. “Remember that you can’t scare him. It’ll be overwhelming, seeing him again, but you _need_ to keep calm.”

San is actually holding onto Mingi, like he’s still worried Mingi is going to jump straight into the water once he sees Seonghwa. Hongjoong gestures Yeosang forwards, then turns down to look at the water.

Surprisingly, Seonghwa already has his head above water, and is staring intently at Hongjoong. Hongjoong falters, frozen as he looks down at him, now properly seeing the red tail in the water from above.

“Oh,” Yeosang says from beside him, Seonghwa’s gaze breaking with his to stare at him. Yeosang waves the red flag in greeting as Hongjoong turns slightly to gesture for the others to move forward.

They all rush forward, gripping tightly to the railing. Hongjoong watches Seonghwa’s expression change from surprise to suspicion, then to something a little kinder as the others start to react genuinely.

While Hongjoong gave them a warning, he knew it wouldn’t be enough when they saw Seonghwa. Seeing Seonghwa in front of them, someone they all loved so deeply and then lost — it left behind such immense grief that they won’t ever recover from it.

So to see him now, the cause of their love and their loss and their grief, _alive,_ it’s impossible to even guess how they’ll react. There’s some gasps, some choked cries, a couple of them looking back and forth between Seonghwa and the others, like they can’t believe they’re all seeing him.

Hongjoong tries to focus, because they’re still in danger if they don’t move out of the area. He takes one more moment to let himself stare and memorise Seonghwa, then turns to his crew.

“We need to make for land. Refill our supplies, and get out of range of the monster in case it comes back.” His command takes a bit of time to sink in to them all, so focused on the sight below them.

Yeosang and San snap to attention first, nodding and agreeing with an “aye Captain”. San pulls at Wooyoung’s hands, urging him away from the railing, and from there they start to gather the others.

It’ll take over two days to get to the next trading village, and Hongjoong watches as the crew settle into their work, raising the sails. Yeosang checks his navigation, guiding the others on where they’re headed.

“We need to make land,” Hongjoong calls down to Seonghwa, who’s listening intently. “Will you follow us? We need to figure out how to keep you hidden is all.”

Seonghwa seems to frown at that, but Hongjoong can see a thoughtful expression crossing his face, and he suspects hiding Seonghwa might not be as difficult as he thinks. Seonghwa is already planning, thinking ahead, and Hongjoong knows he’ll follow for now.

Hongjoong receives a nod, and he takes that as his signal to walk away and start to settle back into command. Panic wildly flares up within him at the thought of losing sight of Seonghwa, but he has to look away at some point, and he has to trust that Seonghwa won’t leave.

It’s easier to control the ship once he’s behind her wheel, as she can sense his intentions a lot clearer. Yunho eases up on his duties once _Ateez_ almost starts to sail on her own, first overlooking the side of the ship before stepping up to Hongjoong.

“He’s following,” Yunho tells him, and Hongjoong lets out a sigh of relief. “Yeosang says we should head North East, less chance the monster will appear again.”

Hongjoong checks his compass, then corrects the course slightly to match it. They both watch as the rest of the crew work, _Ateez_ picking up speed as they adjust, and Hongjoong takes the moment of calm before turning to Yunho.

Seonghwa’s disappearance had destroyed them all in varying ways. Yunho had clung closer to everyone as a result, scared to lose anyone else, but was also quieter and more withdrawn.

His laughter has been lacking, and Hongjoong has caught him on multiple occasions turning to do something silly with Seonghwa, some dumb move that always had the rest of them laughing and groaning in embarrassment, and had to stop when he was met with nothing but air.

Yunho’s standing strong, chest up and shoulders back, and turns to meet Hongjoong’s eyes with his own serious gaze. Like he’s telling Hongjoong that he’s okay, that this won’t break him, that no one needs to worry.

“We’ll get him back,” Yunho declares, fists clenched at his side. “He’ll come back to us.”

The corner of Hongjoong’s lip lifts, and he nods at his crew member. “We’ll make sure of it.”  
  


* * *

  
Dinner is a quiet affair.

It has been for a while, ever since they lost Seonghwa all those months ago.

But Hongjoong misses it suddenly, how loud they used to be when they all gathered together for a meal. How San and Wooyoung would swap food around messily (which had started more than enough food fights), Yeosang bartering for better pieces of meat and chicken, all of them tossing their fruits at Jongho just to annoy him into splitting them open, Mingi and Yunho’s loud and cheerful laughter as they watched and joined in on the chaos.

While Seonghwa claimed they were quiet when truly enjoying a meal, it was never quite like this. Like sitting around just reminds them there’s a spot missing, that someone’s laughter is gone, someone who used to give them extra helpings when they’ve worked particularly hard or aren’t feeling well.

It’s not as mournful tonight. Like they’re not being quiet for the sake of trying to listen out for a ghost. It’s just a thoughtful kind of quiet, all of them lost again in memories — that maybe, right now, aren’t as painful as they once were.

“What do mermaids eat?” Mingi suddenly asks, breaking the silence. Yunho chokes on a piece of food, and San slaps him in the back to help him choke it down.

Yeosang pulls a face, staring down at the deck they’re sitting on. “I heard it was sailors.”

Jongho hits him on the shoulder, scowling. “ _Hyung!”_

Yeosang realises quickly what he’s said, and his eyes go wide. “I mean, that’s just tales, isn’t it? I’m not saying that’s what Seonghwa has been eating, otherwise Captain would be dead.”

“ _Not. Helping.”_ Jongho grits out, looking like he’s going to hit Yeosang again, but refrains when he realises the others have started to laugh. It might be created purely by hysteria, but Hongjoong finds himself unable to stop, desperately trying to cover his face with his hands.

Jongho and Yeosang join in soon enough, and Hongjoong feels lighter than he has in a while. He’s missed the sound of everyone’s laughter, of everyone genuinely happy, and he revels in the atmosphere of it.

“Very little is actually known about mermaids,” San says, once they’re all calmed down. “If it _was_ sailors, I feel like more stories would be created, and more would think they’re real. It’s probably just whatever fish eat.”

“Which is other fish, isn’t it?” Yunho asks, now pulling a disturbed face. Uncooked fish doesn’t sound exactly pleasant, but Hongjoong knows nothing about mermaid appetites, so he’s not going to judge it.

“Depends on the fish. Regardless, it’s probably fine, he hasn’t starved to death in the past couple of months.”

Light conversation picks up, and Hongjoong is content to sit back and enjoy it. Wooyoung interrupts his peace by leaning into his space, clearly intent on discussing something serious.

“Hyung,” he asks, which gets the attention of the crew. Wooyoung barely reacts to it, but raises his voice just a little so that the rest can clearly hear him. “How are we going to protect a mermaid? They’re basically a mythical creature, and the _second_ someone realises we have one with us just waiting by our ship, he’s going to be captured and sold to the highest bidder.”

It’s something Hongjoong’s been considering, but it’s still not a thought that he wants to approach.

“I planned on talking with him tomorrow. Merfolk tales aren’t clear, but there’s some that mention them going onto land. If he can’t, we won’t have him follow us to land, and we can make a quick restock before meeting him out at sea again.”

Wooyoung hums thoughtfully, lips turned downwards as he stresses. “What if he doesn’t wait for us? Or if someone finds him first? There’s a lot of fishing nets around those lands.”

“He can wait back far enough. I don’t plan on spending more than a day on land, we just restock what we need. We have enough treasure to trade a fair amount, so it shouldn’t be a worry.”

The others look nervous about it, but they nod their heads and return to quiet conversation. Near the end of their meals, Jongho starts to hum, and Yunho is quick to follow — and that’s something else Hongjoong hasn’t heard in a long time. Their constant humming, their singing of old pirate songs, ones they’ve heard on the lands, and ones made up on the spot.

Once Mingi starts to battle Wooyoung with notes, it quickly devolves into laughter and cheering. Hongjoong lets himself enjoy it for a while longer before he stands, waving off those who try to follow him.

“I’m going to slow _Ateez_ down and speak with him. He might need to rest.”

While they usually dine inside the cabin, because Hongjoong is all too lenient in letting them into what should be ‘Captain’s quarters’, tonight they’re eating out on the deck. It isn't a spoken idea, but one they all seem to share — to be a little bit closer to the open ocean, to Seonghwa.

Hongjoong traces his hand across the pillars of the sails, and _Ateez_ starts to slow, sails changing so that they aren’t moving so much with the wind.

He walks over to where Yeosang had dropped the flag on the deck, then drops it down into the water below. It floats for a moment, the bright red visible amongst the lights of the ship and the stars, but eventually starts to drop into the water.

It doesn’t take long for Seonghwa to appear, holding the flag in his hand. He still looks guarded, a face Hongjoong has seen directed at others, but never at him.

The ache in his chest starts to hurt again, and he wants to ask Seonghwa if he’s eaten, if he’s okay. But he doesn’t think Seonghwa would appreciate it, and so he takes a breath and straightens.

Seonghwa, to anyone else, wouldn’t look tired. His eyes are alight with determination, swimming steadily as he keeps pace with the slowing ship. But Hongjoong can read him, even if Seonghwa currently doesn’t know himself, and can see the fatigue setting in.

“We will drop anchor for the night,” Hongjoong tells him. Seonghwa looks confused for a moment, and Hongjoong takes a moment to realise why. “It means we’ll stop for the night so that we can rest.”

“A ship does not need rest,” Seonghwa is still confused for a moment, and then he figures it out, voice indignant as he defends himself. “ _I_ can keep going.”

“I know you can,” he reassures on instinct, because this is still Seonghwa — still refusing to request for help, refusing to become what he perceives as a burden. “ _Ateez_ is a great ship, but she can only do so much herself after an attack. I would prefer my crew to rest tonight.”

It’s not _entirely_ true. _Ateez_ can handle much worse, and rarely needs more than one person awake with her at night. But Hongjoong would prefer his whole crew got rest tonight, without having to worry about sailing.

Seonghwa hesitates, but seems to accept Hongjoong’s explanation. “I will awaken when the ship moves the anchor then.”

Hongjoong nods, and he knows he should tell the crew to drop the anchor now, but instead hesitates, not wanting to lose sight of Seonghwa.

“Who told you not to trust humans?” He asks, the question burning in his mind for a while now.

Seonghwa looks like he’s trying to decide how much to divulge, and Hongjoong is afraid that he’s just made him clam up, but Seonghwa just rolls onto his back, tail moving as he keeps above water, looking at the stars now.

“They saved me. I woke up, knowing little except a language that I don’t remember learning, and they explained it to me. That I wasn’t to remember anything as it was the only way to save my life, unless I found the treasure.”

“The treasure?” Hongjoong has learned well by now that treasure isn’t just chests and gold, but he really isn’t sure what kind of treasure could restore a lost memory.

“He said the Goddess wouldn’t tell him what it was. But that she’ll help me get where I need to go.”

“On land?” Hongjoong asks, without thinking it through. Seonghwa’s tail falters a moment, sinking beneath the waves, but he breaks the water with a splutter.

Hongjoong can’t help but laugh a little at his surprised face, shaking his head to clear the hair and water from his eyes. Seonghwa catches his eyes and smiles a little before he catches it, changing back to caution.

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa admits, clearly not having thought about it before.

“Well, we can always try it out before we reach land, and you can join us on it if you want.”

“I do not wish to be in _your_ human territory right now,” Seonghwa replies, pulling a face. Hongjoong wants to argue that the land _is_ Seonghwa’s first home, even if he prefers to sail on the sea, but stops himself and nods.

“Okay. We’ll work out something when we get closer to the land.”

Seonghwa agrees, and then disappears beneath the waves. Hongjoong goes back to tell his crew to rest, and then retreats into his own quarters.

It’s still strange walking into his quarters, as Seonghwa isn’t there already waiting on his bed, or sitting at the desk and organising things. The cabin is so strangely empty, a presence missing that can’t be filled.

It's usually a lingering feeling, a lingering memory: something that keeps him awake at night. A deep ache that can’t ever seem to fade, too scared to fall asleep and face the reason for his grief.

He doesn't know which dreams are worse. The good dreams, where Seonghwa’s happy and smiling and _alive_ and with them — they only served to remind Hongjoong of what he's lost, of what he could no longer have. But the nightmares are awful reminders of what happened, how he couldn't save Seonghwa — and really, in the end, they're all bad dreams.

But for the first time in a long time, Hongjoong isn’t so afraid to dream. He falls asleep easier than he has ever since they lost Seonghwa.

* * *

_Months ago._

The sun is just peeking out of the horizon in front of them when Hongjoong steps out from his quarters and onto the main deck.

San is resting on the railing, watching the sunrise, but turns to give Hongjoong a smile and nod in greeting. To see San out this early means that he isn’t sleeping well again, and he needs to remember to buy something that helps with sleep the next time they dock at a town.

San's eyes break with his to look above Hongjoong, pointedly bringing something to his attention. Hongjoong turns and looks up to see Seonghwa behind the wheel, hands steady as he guides the ship, but his focus is on Hongjoong.

He had suspicions that his first mate had taken to the wheel when he woke up alone, but it's still relieving to see him there. Yunho was meant to be on duty, but Hongjoong already knows Seonghwa had sent him back to sleep, too restless to not do something.

Seonghwa tracks Hongjoong as he walks up the stairs, coming up beside him and leaning on the railing right next to the wheel.

“Good morning,” Seonghwa brightly greets, still steadily handling the wheel. Hongjoong repeats the greeting, and as Seonghwa moves his gaze to the horizon, Hongjoong lets himself stare.

The early light is radiating softly off Seonghwa’s features, strands of hair turning golden as the sun catches it. He’s beautiful. He always is, of course, but right now it looks like even the sun is only rising just to catch a glimpse and admire him in the soft glow.

“Bad dreams?” Hongjoong asks, because it’s rare for Seonghwa to wake up so restless that he’ll leave so early and then take control of the ship.

“Never next to you,” Seonghwa sing-songs, voice ridiculously cheerful for the time, and he seems to have an immediate sense of embarrassment once he’s done it. Hongjoong laughs, but accepts it, because it means he doesn’t want to talk right now about it.

He might, tonight, when they’re safely in bed. When he curls himself up, letting himself be smaller and vulnerable than he ever likes to let himself be. When Hongjoong has to remind him that Seonghwa can lean on him for support, that it’s okay to need some help, and it actually gets through.

Hongjoong turns to look at the horizon with Seonghwa, and grins at the sight of the sun rising.

It’s a new day, a bright one.

It's the day they lose Seonghwa.  
  


———  
  


They had docked at an unnamed island, following the map that they had been invested in for so long.

There’s a buried treasure they’re yet to find, but the information had been passed onto one of Wooyoung’s most trusted consultants, and there’s promises that this will be worth the work.

Wooyoung assures them he’ll figure out the riddle once they’ve seen a bit more of the lands, and so he sets out with Hongjoong, Mingi and San to walk across the sands.

At least Mingi has moved on from complaining, and is now singing very off-key as excitement begins to build. The promise of treasure, of wealth and gold and fortune, is always a good motivator for his crew members.

And of course for the captain himself, who likes to pride himself on finding the rarest and most obscure treasures possible.

It takes them a while, longer than usual, to finally locate the treasure. Wooyoung had made a small mistake with solving the riddle, but thankfully was close enough to the final answer that it wasn’t hard to work out in the end.

San and Wooyoung manage to find it — a latch that hides a whole bunker of a rich, deceased politician’s personal treasure. Pouches of rare jewels, crates of gold, important and official documents that would surely sell well amongst the black market trade.

“Goddess,” Mingi breathes out, speechless for the first time today. “We won’t have enough hands to carry this all back.”

“Yeosang has the co-ordinates, we can always come back to the island later.” While San’s right, Hongjoong doesn’t want to take the chance.

“We can take multiple trips. Get Jongho and Yunho to help us once we make the first round.”

They agree quickly, and they start to organise what they’ll take back for each trip. Hongjoong and Wooyoung are carrying back a chest of treasure, and the others take smaller crates.

They leave a flag as a marker to find their way back, and when they get back to the ship, Hongjoong watches as the other four come alight with excitement, helping them get the riches on board and stashed away.

Jongho and Yunho quickly agree to helping, and Seonghwa and Yeosang stay behind to watch the ship and organise the treasure already onboard.

On Hongjoong’s second trip back to the ship, he notices another ship far out on the horizon — but it’s worrying that it’s even visible. These are barely traveled waters, the island uninhabited, and there should be no reason for a ship to pass through.

Seonghwa spots it as well, and quickly pushes Hongjoong back towards the rope. “You have one more trip to go, right? Hurry up then, the others are already on their last one.”

Hongjoong’s reluctant to leave the ship, but the other ship does seem far out enough that he should have plenty of time. Seonghwa and Yeosang have proved they can take care of themselves, after all, and the others should make it back before Hongjoong anyway.

He wants to tell Seonghwa to be careful, to not take any chances, but instead only says “if they visit, make sure they don’t see our treasure.” Seonghwa laughs, but there’s a determined glint in his eyes that reassures Hongjoong.

“Aye Captain,” he says, smile widening. Hongjoong tips his hat, then sets off for the last round.

He almost makes it back too late. The other ship is coming closer, ready to drop anchor near the shallow water. It’s about the same size as his own ship, but Hongjoong quickly notices their larger amount of firepower.

Mingi helps haul him onboard, taking the last crate from his hands. He scurries off with it, hiding it on a lower deck, and Hongjoong quickly headcounts his crew. They’re all accounted for, watching the approaching ship.

The tide is rising, meaning it will be easier to maneuver out of the shallow water they initially docked in, and Hongjoong hurries to tell Jongho to raise the anchor.

It’s not fast enough. The other crew drops a plank onto their deck, ready for boarding. San curses from beside him, fingers sitting carefully on the hilt of his sword. Seonghwa steps up beside him, walking towards the plank that has landed on their deck, ready to greet them. It’s another pirate ship, but Hongjoong’s never seen or heard of their flag before.

Hongjoong masks his wariness quickly, refusing to give the other crew any indication of his emotions. Besides, he’s confident in his crew, and refuses to let them down.

Three men take to the plank — the captain, dressed entirely in white, and the rest of his crew in black. Six others remain on the ship. They’re all wearing hats, and fabric covers the lower half of their faces — features remaining mostly unseen, but their eyes are harsh and cold.

“A beautiful ship you have here,” the first officer comments, looking directly at Hongjoong. “The famous _Ateez,_ isn’t it? I wonder what it’s doing on an island like this.”

It’s not unusual that they’re recognised, even for the short amount of time they’ve been sailing as a crew together. But the other men unsettle Hongjoong, and he knows that this crew won’t go down easily.

“Making repairs,” Seonghwa speaks, but the other crew does not look at him. They just keep staring down Hongjoong, who’s settled his own gaze on the captain.

“Hm, and yet the ship looks fine, does she not?” The first officer comments, finally breaking his gaze away to look around the ship, calculating gaze running over all the details.

“Because we made repairs,” Wooyoung cuts in. He steps up, standing on Seonghwa’s other side. “And as we are all repaired, if you don’t mind, we’ll be heading out now.”

“We mind.” The captain’s voice is deep, commanding, and chilling, and Hongjoong straightens from his casual stance.

“Let me make this clear,” the first officer speaks again, meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “You will not be leaving with this ship.”

Immediately, at the threat, sounds of swords drawing rings out in the air. Hongjoong’s own is pointed at the captain — but, annoyingly, he doesn’t seem all that concerned with a sword pointed at his heart.

“I think we will be,” Seonghwa hisses, his sword blocking a swing by the first officer. The action quickly has the rest of them pushing forward, trying to push the crew back off their deck.

A shot rings out, and Hongjoong’s heart stops for a moment, instinctively flinching. Another shot follows, and Hongjoong realises it’s Yunho and Yeosang firing their pistols at the crew attempting to cross the plank.

“Raise the anchor, get us out of here!” Hongjoong calls, but shots from the other crew attempt to hinder those headed towards it.

Seonghwa and Wooyoung are both engaged in a sword fight, and Hongjoong grits his teeth and goes to swing his sword. He’s not going to go easy just because the captain isn’t drawing his sword, especially when his crew and now in danger.

The captain, alarmingly quickly, unsheathes his sword and blocks. Hongjoong recovers quickly, but the captain continues to block every attack with very little effort.

His speed is faster than any human Hongjoong’s ever encountered. Hongjoong is known for being a skilled swordsman, his speed almost unmatched by anyone he’s encountered, but he’s being surpassed now.

He doesn’t go to attack Hongjoong though, not until Seonghwa and Wooyoung both manage to push their opponents back to the plank. It’s long enough that Hongjoong’s energy is running out, that his crew have had to reload numerous times.

It’s strange though, Hongjoong notices. The other crew isn’t exactly attacking, not with the brute force many would use to overtake a ship. They just seem more intent on making sure _Ateez_ can’t raise their anchor and escape.

It’s tiring them out. Constantly on the offense, but not managing to land any strikes.

That is, until Seonghwa manages to drive his sword into the first officer’s side, sending him stumbling back along the plank.

Seonghwa turns his attention to the captain as well now, Wooyoung focusing on keeping the plank guarded from anyone trying to board again. The ones that had boarded have retreated, back onto their own ship, the first officer holding his side.

“Get off my ship,” Hongjoong threatens, sword waving to the plank. He’s tired, and he’s angry that these other pirates have just tried to take his goddamn ship and hurt his crew.

The captain doesn’t change expression, still as unconcerned and seemingly bored with the situation. His sword lowers though, and he raises his other hand in a surrender.

Hongjoong doesn’t drop his sword, even as the captain makes to head backwards to the plank.

And once again, Hongjoong isn’t fast enough.

The captain moves so quickly Hongjoong can’t react. The captain moves towards Seonghwa, disarming him quickly and rushing towards him, grabbing the back of Seonghwa’s neck.

The captain’s sword is pressed against Seonghwa’s stomach, right where Seonghwa had managed to swipe the first officer. The captain leans forward, right into Seonghwa’s face, but Seonghwa doesn’t flinch.

“Not until I make it up to your first mate here,” the captain says, quickly turning them so that he’s walking backwards towards the plank, Seonghwa’s back now to them, effectively using him as a shield from anyone wanting to attack.

He can’t see Seonghwa’s face, but Seonghwa’s hands are making signals to him behind his back. Telling him to wait, to hold his position. Anger and fear bristle beneath Hongjoong's skin, but he stops himself from doing anything rashly.

 _Cannons,_ Seonghwa signs with urgency.

“They’re readying their cannons!” San shouts, catching on to the signal faster, already running to get below deck, barely managing to escape the opposing shots. A cannon fight this close bodes well for neither ship — shrapnel and their close proximity mean neither will escape unharmed, and Hongjoong hadn’t been willing to risk it.

It seems the other ship has no such qualms, apparently ready to bring themselves down just to take down _Ateez_. “What are you _doing?_ You’ll take us both down!” Wooyoung yells desperately, and it keeps the attention on him for a moment, meaning Mingi and Jongho can get below deck to get the cannons ready for counterfire.

It’s not really the pirate way, after all. Survival is of utmost importance, and no crew should ever be willing to take themselves down just to get another ship.

They still can’t get to the anchor though, as any movement towards it means another shot. While some of the crew have made it below deck, Hongjoong doesn’t like their chances of withstanding pistol shots above deck while trying to raise anchor.

Hongjoong is watching the captain and Seonghwa carefully, but not being able to see Seonghwa’s face means that he’s a second too late to catch onto Seonghwa’s body language.

He’s resolute, set on something, and Hongjoong’s heart drops in fear suddenly. Seonghwa’s arms move quickly, one passing by the belt Hongjoong knows he keeps a knife sheathed in. One Hongjoong had gifted him.

Seonghwa swings at the captain, and —

It happens too fast.

Seonghwa suddenly jolts back, and Hongjoong looks on with horror as a sword protrudes from his back for a moment before receding, the captain pulling it back to rest at his side.

“ _No!_ ” He doesn’t know who shouts it — it might be him, it might be all of them. Seonghwa falters, going to take a step but just crumbling forward instead, hand that was holding the knife now instinctively going to press against the hole in his stomach.

The captain holds him up for a moment, but then pushes him down. Thankfully, Seonghwa lands on the plank, but it rattles enough that it threatens to dislodge from _Ateez_. The water isn’t quite deep enough to soften a fall from such a height — it’s not deadly, but it’ll be much harder to get to Seonghwa if he falls.

He goes to rush forward, but a shot stops him, just grazing the air in front of him. The crew has just one more member on the deck, but it’s enough that _Ateez_ can’t keep their weapons trained on all of them.

“Seonghwa!” He yells, Seonghwa having fallen still facing the other ship, but turns his head obediently at Hongjoong’s voice. “Get back here!”

He doesn’t think the other crew will shoot at Seonghwa. Usually the captain will finish their own opponent, crews usually stepping back for it, and it seems the captain has made Seonghwa his target. Unfortunately, it also seems like this crew don’t follow standard pirate practices, but it’s a gamble he has to take.

Seonghwa’s face is scrunched in pain, and Hongjoong can now see how his hands are covered in blood, the red seeping out from his fingers and onto the plank, into the water below. His lips are curled in, breathing heavily, but Hongjoong can see that his eyes are still determined and clear despite the pain that he’s trying to manage.

Something seems to catch Seonghwa’s attention though, head turning to look at the other ship again. He then turns to look back at _Ateez_ , back to the rest of the plank that he’s yet to crawl back over, eyes quickly sweeping over the crew he can see before landing on Hongjoong.

“You don’t have time with the cannons to wait for me,” Seonghwa says, the words strong despite the way he looks like he just wants to scream in pain. “You need to go.”

“We aren’t leaving you!” Wooyoung’s voice rings out, but Seonghwa keeps looking at Hongjoong, shaking his head. He mouths words that Hongjoong can’t work out — not until later, when Hongjoong’s replaying the moment over and over in his head. When it haunts him at night, while he's awake and while he dreams.

_I’m sorry._

The captain looks like he’s about to strike Seonghwa again, but Seonghwa suddenly dives forward, catching the captain around the knees. The momentum makes the captain stumble. Takes one unsteady step on the plank, his second step just barely grazing the edge, and then the captain unbalances into the water below.

Seonghwa goes with him.

“ _Fuck!_ ” Wooyoung shouts, scrambling to the sides to overlook the railing and into the water below. Hongjoong moves to do the same, but is stopped by the sudden feeling of _Ateez_.

Or rather, the lack of. The ship is part of his soul — he can feel her, control her when she’s kind enough to let him. She suddenly disappears from his reach, feeling like she’s a whole seas worth away even as she’s beneath his feet.

Suddenly she lurches, and the sound of the anchor raising startles him. He looks back, but no one’s made it to the capstan to raise the anchor.

“No! _No!_ ” He desperately yells, now running to the side of the ship, realising what’s happening. “Seonghwa! _Don’t!_ ”

He can see Seonghwa now, down below in the water, a hand pressed against the ship. He’s desperately struggling to stay afloat, legs kicking frantically in the water. His other hand is still pressed against his side, but it does little to stop red mingling and spreading into the water around him.

“Get him!” He shouts to his crew, Yeosang already running to the ladder. But the ship lurches again, sails catching the wind, and she starts to turn like she’s being pushed by an invisible force.

Yeosang looks like he’s about to dive off the main deck in desperation, but Jongho hurries to stop him. They all know the water is too shallow to jump into.

 _But deep enough to drown in,_ Hongjoong thinks, heart twisting, desperately trying to think of a way to get to Seonghwa in time.

 _Get them away from here, don’t let them come back and get me until they’re safe,_ he can hear. Not quite ringing in his head, not his own thoughts, but something resonating in his soul where _Ateez_ usually rests.

Seonghwa. It’s _Seonghwa,_ and it’s his last desperate wish to the ship. Powerful enough to take control from Hongjoong and obey his will.

 _Don’t let him! Please, please let us save him! Let me save him!_ Hongjoong pleads, then starts to shout it once he sees Seonghwa lose his grip on the ship. He floats for a couple of seconds, trying his best to keep his head above water.

But his injury has already taken a toll, and Seonghwa drops beneath the waves.

The ship starts to gain speed quickly, quickly enough that Hongjoong’s sure the Goddess has come to curse Hongjoong himself — first with the captain’s speed and brutal attack, with Seonghwa, then with the ship.

As much as it hurts to admit it later, Hongjoong knows it is the only thing that saves them from the other ship’s cannons as they start to fire.

“What’s going on?” Mingi asks, rejoining them now on the deck, Yunho and San following. “We moved so quickly. The anchor came up the fastest I’ve ever seen.”

Hongjoong just grabs onto the railing, wanting it to break beneath his grip. The other ship isn’t moving, isn’t following them — not yet. They haven’t raised their anchor, but they’re scrambling to, and it’ll take them some time to gain speed.

He’s trying to scan the water, trying to think of how to get back to Seonghwa. He turns, looking desperately for Yeosang.

“Get the boats ready,” he commands, ignoring three confused exclamations. “We need to go back and get him.”

“Get who?” Yunho asks, fear alight in his voice.

A pause greets the question, none of them willing to say it out loud, to admit it.

“You didn’t get Seonghwa back,” San figures, his voice quiet with shock. “He... Did they take him?”

Hongjoong realises that the three had gone below deck before Seonghwa had been impaled — and they had wholehearted trust in the rest of the crew, in Hongjoong, in getting him back. It didn’t even cross their minds that Hongjoong would fail.

Yeosang suddenly rushes back, eyes wide and fearful. “The rigs won’t work, we can’t lower the boats.”

“ _Ateez_ will follow Seonghwa’s command.” Hongjoong’s horror is evident in his voice, because if they can’t get off the ship, then... “We can’t go back for him. Not until we’re deemed safe.”

“Where is he? Hyung, _where_ is he?” San’s gripping Hongjoong’s shoulders. Hongjoong hadn’t even seen him move, but faintly registers that San’s scared enough that he’s calling Hongjoong _hyung_ , and not Captain like he usually would.

“He fell into the water,” Yeosang says, voice disturbingly blank. Hongjoong knows he’s shutting down, trying to focus on logic and reason instead of his emotion. Any other time, Hongjoong would try and pull him back out of it, but he can’t focus right now on doing so.

“He pushed the captain down with him. He had been...” Yeosang falters here, even when he’s trying to suppress his emotions so severely. “The captain got him with the sword through his stomach. Seonghwa realised he didn’t have time to come back to us, so he took the captain down with him and commanded _Ateez_ to move out of the way of the cannons.”

“You… _you_ have control of the ship! She’s your ship! Make her _listen to you!”_ Wooyoung is frantic, desperate, just as much as the rest of them. And Hongjoong's trying, _begging_ for the Goddess to hear him and help, but he’s met with a silence so awful and unbearable he wants to cry.

“She won't,” Hongjoong replies, clenching his fists to hide the way they shake so terribly. “ _Ateez_ has never listened to anyone else before, I don't — I don't know what Seonghwa's done. I can't undo it.”

“If he’s injured, then the other crew most likely won’t make the effort to get him aboard their ship.” Jongho's voice rings out, completely confident and assured of his reasoning. “If he gets onto land, and we can safely evade the ship, then we can get back to him.”

Hongjoong can only think of the moment Seonghwa had dropped beneath the waves, the way he had barely been able to swim to come up above them.

“We can’t leave him there,” San cries desperately, pointing back to the island. “We have to go back! We have to—”

“We can’t,” Hongjoong cuts him off, voice soft, because any louder and his voice will start to shatter. “We can’t. I don’t have control of _Ateez_. I can’t turn her around, and she won’t let us go back by any means.”

San cries out like Hongjoong’s never heard from him before — something desperate and pained, something mournful from deep within. It’s something Hongjoong will never let himself forget. San lets go off Hongjoong and stumbles back, knees buckling and folding beneath him.

The others follow, moving closer to each other, shock that they’ve lost one of their own settling in. That they can’t do anything to help him or save him — that they’ve just left him behind, injured and in the water.

“When _Ateez_ lets me, I’ll take us directly back,” he promises, even though they already know there’s no other option.

“I’m sorry,” he says. _Sorry I couldn’t save him. Sorry I still can’t. This is the best I can do, and it might not be enough._

When Hongjoong regains control of the ship, an awful full day later, they return.

It takes another day to go back — and it’s to an empty island, clear waters, and no Seonghwa.

* * *

Hongjoong wakes to Yunho opening his quarter’s doors, a guilty look crossing his face as he notices Hongjoong blinking blearily at him.

He’s used to waking up in the night when members of the crew come to check on him. It became common after they lost Seonghwa, for nightmares to wake them up in fear, a desperate need to check that everyone else is safe and alive.

And sometimes, when Hongjoong is already awake, he catches the fearful look one of them casts into the quarters, searching for someone, only to slowly realise that this time, losing Seonghwa wasn’t just a nightmare.

Those nights are the hardest, and Hongjoong always lifts his blankets up for the member to slide in next to him. On more than one occasion, this has lead to all of them piling up into his quarters, spreading themselves out on the bed and chairs.

Hongjoong’s done his own fair share amount of rounds himself, after all. Has crawled into someone else’s bed more than enough times, slept in the crew’s cabins more often than not lately.

“Sorry, Captain,” he apologises, but properly steps into the quarters. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

Hongjoong waves him off, and just pats the bed in a gesture for Yunho to sit. He’s still trying to wake up, feeling groggy and more tired than usual, and realises he can’t remember any of his dreams.

For a moment his heart stops, thinking that seeing Seonghwa might have been the dream. That being thrown overboard and then being saved was all just some twisted, realistic dream for his mind to torment him with.

But it felt real, and when Yunho sits down on the bed at Hongjoong’s feet, he stares at the floor while he gathers his thoughts.

“It wasn’t a dream, right?” Yunho asks, the first time Hongjoong has heard the question be a hopeful one. Hongjoong lets out a sigh of relief, his own fears now calmed, and then just leans forward to grab Yunho’s hand that’s closest to him.

“No, it wasn’t,” Hongjoong reassures, and Yunho smiles a little before leaning down onto the bed, curling himself into Hongjoong. They stay like that for a while, until Hongjoong can see the sky brightening through his windows.

The door opens again, and Hongjoong looks up to see Yeosang standing at the entrance.

“Good morning,” Yeosang says, smiling a little as he sees Yunho curled up on the bed as well. “The sun’s rising, and we should get moving to cover as much water as we can before stopping for the night again.”

Hongjoong gets up with a fair amount of struggle. Yunho’s reluctant to leave the bed, and at one point just clings to Hongjoong’s legs as he tries to get changed.

“Get the crew to raise the anchor,” Hongjoong tells Yeosang as he hops around the room, trying to avoid Yunho’s clutches. “Get San up on the crow’s nest to make sure Seonghwa’s following.”

The mention of Seonghwa gets Yunho moving, hurrying to scramble out of bed and onto the main deck, following behind Yeosang as they both leave his quarters.

Hongjoong isn’t much better though, making it onto the main deck as the crew begin to raise the anchor. Yeosang’s taken to the wheel, and Hongjoong focuses his attention up on San, who’s scanning the water around the ship.

Once the anchor’s raised, the crew start to prepare the ship to sail. San lets out a happy shout, pointing to the starboard side of the ship.

“He’s following!” San announces, much to the relief of the rest of the crew. It invigorates them, their usual morning lethargy nowhere to be seen as they hurry along.

Hongjoong moves to the side of the ship, catching glimpses of Seonghwa in the water as he swims alongside them. Once _Ateez_ is set on her course, the others begin to stand with Hongjoong, looking out at the water.

They shift throughout the day. Hongjoong takes over for Yeosang, and Jongho sits in the crow’s nest to get a decent view of Seonghwa — and also likely to have some time to think for himself. The others do their best to look busy with cleaning the side of the ship that Seonghwa’s swimming on.

The day passes rather quietly, like all of them are a little too scared to speak too loudly, just in case they break an illusion. When night comes, and Hongjoong gives the signal to drop the anchor, Seonghwa has broken the surface of the water and is waiting for him.

“It’ll take another two days to reach the village,” Hongjoong tells him. “It’ll probably take most of the day for us to get what we need as well, so just bare with us a little longer.”

Seonghwa nods, but his attention is suddenly caught by those stepping up next to Hongjoong.

Seonghwa stares blankly at them, and Hongjoong can tell it’s making the crew uneasy, tension beginning to build as they aren’t met with a friendly, welcoming hyung they’re familiar with.

Yunho breaks the tension by waving enthusiastically at Seonghwa, and Hongjoong stifles a laugh at Seonghwa’s startled expression. Seonghwa slowly raises a hand, meekly waving back, and Yunho laughs in pure delight.

The others join in, waving at Seonghwa with excitement. Hongjoong’s relieved that they seem to be quickly adjusting to the fact Seonghwa isn’t as they remember — he can’t be, not when he doesn’t remember them or himself.

Reluctant to let him out of their sights, it’s up to Seonghwa to drop below the waves, stating he needs to rest, and that he’ll be awake again once the anchor moves.

At night, it’s Hongjoong that stands at the entry of the crew’s quarters, and Wooyoung opens up his blanket for Hongjoong to curl up under.

He can hear the rest of the crew whispering to each other, until one by one they start to quieten as they fall asleep. Wooyoung’s breath has yet to properly even out into sleep, and when it refuses to even as Hongjoong’s own eyes get heavy, he turns on the cot to face Wooyoung.

“What’re you thinking about?” He asks, and Wooyoung’s breath is held for a moment before he releases it, fingers finding Hongjoong’s and interlacing them.

He seems hesitant to voice his thoughts, but Hongjoong waits patiently as Wooyoung works up the courage to speak.

“We’re formed, as humans, by our experiences, right? Our emotions, our reactions, our personalities are formed because of experiences and memories. That’s what makes each of us _us.”_

Hongjoong hums, encouraging Wooyoung to keep going, to get to what he’s really trying to say.

“And the mermaid out there might _look_ like Seonghwa — except, well, the tail and everything, but it’s _not_ our hyung. We lost him the moment we left him behind, and we haven’t gotten him back just because a mermaid with his face has appeared. And we can’t _make_ that mermaid our hyung, because he doesn’t remember any of the experiences that made Seonghwa himself, so it’s almost just like we picked up any other mermaid. It’s just that this one has his face.”

“We’ll get his memories back,” Hongjoong whispers, fingers squeezing Wooyoung’s. “He’ll remember us, and remember himself, and we’ll have _our_ Seonghwa back.”

“What if we can’t?” Wooyoung argues, voice still soft — but he’s not resigned, meaning he doesn’t truly believe it at least. “What do we do then? Just drag a mermaid along for the rest of our pirating days that _looks_ like him, but isn’t him and never will be?”

“ _Seonghwa,_ ” Hongjoong emphasises the name, reminding Wooyoung that the mermaid _is_ Seonghwa — he’s just lost his memories and gained a tail for now, but it’s still _him._ “Said that he was saved by someone that had to trade his life for his memories. That the one that saved him _also_ told him that the Goddess would help him find his treasure, and in this case, it’s his memories.”

“The Goddess can be cruel,” Wooyoung replies, voice sounding like it’s close to breaking now. “She already has been to us. She took hyung away, and — and instead of returning him to us, she had to take away everything that made him _Seonghwa.”_

“She’s been kind, too.” Hongjoong brings their connected hands up to his chest, holding Wooyoung’s hand tightly. “She’s giving us a chance to get him back.”

Wooyoung shakes his head. “That’s not kindness. It’s _cruel_ to make us grieve twice.”

“Wooyoung,” Hongjoong says, voice louder now as he commands attention. “We _will_ get Seonghwa back. We’ll save him this time, and we won’t lose him again.”

Hongjoong half expects Wooyoung to argue, to say that Hongjoong doesn’t know that for sure, he doesn’t know what the Goddess intends, that he’s all wrong — because it’s something he’s thinking as well.

Instead, Wooyoung just lets out a little sigh, burying himself closer to Hongjoong. He falls asleep soon after, and Hongjoong isn’t far behind.

* * *

“We’re not far from the village, Captain,” Yeosang says, stepping up beside him at the helm of the ship.

The past couple of days have been uneventful, for the most part: the crew enjoy waving at Seonghwa in the morning and night, and Mingi has been able to talk a little with him, asking him about his favourite foods in the water (to which the answer had been ‘whatever is easiest to catch’).

“Drop anchor then, we should let him know.” Yeosang scurries off quickly at Hongjoong’s command, going to inform the crew. By the time the ship slows to a stop, Seonghwa is already waiting above the water.

“We’ll be reaching the village soon,” Hongjoong tells him, and Seonghwa glances out towards the direction they’re headed. It’s barely visible, but Hongjoong doesn’t want to take any chances by moving closer. “It’ll take us the rest of the day to get what we need from there, so we’ll return at night.”

Seonghwa’s mouth twists, and he stares back towards the land in the distance. “If you return at night, then we won’t be able to move anyway until the sun rises. You may as well rest on land, and return in the morning.”

Hongjoong’s nervous at the prospect of not returning to Seonghwa as soon as possible, but Seonghwa is ultimately right. He needs to rest, so even if they return to him at night, they will just have to drop anchor on the seas anyway.

“We’ll return when the sun rises. Right here. Don’t appear for any other ship,” Hongjoong warns, and at this Seonghwa smiles.

“I’ve been next to your ship for a few days, recognising it is no issue.”

Hongjoong returns the smile at this, but he’s still nervous leaving Seonghwa on his own. Mingi, who is standing behind him, tugs on his arm and snaps him out of it. “Okay, we’ll be heading there now then.”

Seonghwa nods and sinks below the water again. The crew raise the anchor again, and they head towards the land.

* * *

Hongjoong pays the docking fee, then turns to his crew who have various treasures in their bags. They all know what they’re meant to do; trade for food, supplies, and anything else they need to continue their voyages.

The sea monster hasn’t left _Ateez_ completely unscathed, and Mingi elects to stay and fix her up, as well as stand guard for the night.

Hongjoong’s also asked them to keep an ear out for any tales about the Goddess, mermaids, and anything else in the relevant fields for their next journey.

They organise the inn first. There’s enough to easily spare the cost for three rooms, and means they all have a meeting point for the morning. After that, they split off and head into the town to complete their tasks.

Hongjoong goes to get some of their treasures inspected and traded for money. Easily enough, he finds a small store that sells and trades what he wants, the owner’s eyes lighting up at the sight of their recent treasures.

He does try and scam Hongjoong at one stage, and then quickly realises that it’s not a good idea at all. Hongjoong’s on edge, nervous about Seonghwa, trying to think of what they could possibly be looking for, and he’s not all too amused by the shop-keeper trying to sell him short.

By the time Hongjoong gets back, he’s the last one to the inn. The others seemed successful in their own adventures, smiles bright as they greet him at the entry, having been waiting for him.

Wooyoung and San have a particular tilt to their lips which mean they have tales to tell, and they rest of them all hold pouches of money. According to Yunho, they left the supplies with Mingi, as well as a nice warm meal for him.

Hongjoong tells the two with tales to wait until they’re back on the ship — cautious about being overheard, making sure the rest of them know not to mention anything about Seonghwa while on land.

That night, sharing a room with Yunho, Hongjoong can’t sleep. He prefers the rocking of _Ateez_ , the comfort his quarters bring. On land he feels stifled, and his worry for Seonghwa only increases as the hours go by.

Wooyoung’s right. If they can’t help Seonghwa regain his memories, then they’ve lost him all over again. And they might lose him anyway, because maybe a fishing net will tangle him, maybe another crew will spot him—

And he’s been so focused on just getting to this village, to just stock up, and now that he’s here it means he needs to seriously figure out a plan for Seonghwa. To gain some sort of heading, _anything,_ so that they’re not just aimlessly on the seas for the rest of their lives.

Safe to say, he does not sleep well, if at all.

He wakes the others just as the sun begins to rise, and they all seem to be eager to get back onto the ship. Mingi seems to have worked through the night, and Hongjoong whistles appreciatively as he touches the side of the ship, already feeling how much steadier and stronger she is.

They set sail back to the meeting point, having to roughly guess where it was. Thankfully Seonghwa’s head appears, and he watches them warily, scanning for others on the ship.

Hongjoong realises what he’s looking for. He’s trying to see if Hongjoong has betrayed him, if Hongjoong has brought back other people to try and catch a glimpse of a mermaid. His heart aches a little, but he has to remind himself that Seonghwa doesn’t trust him — and if it was anyone else with Seonghwa, Hongjoong wouldn’t want him to trust them either.

Hongjoong waves at him, and once Seonghwa seems satisfied (if a little surprised) that it’s just the usual crew, he gives his own little wave and swims a little closer to the ship, which Hongjoong has slowed down enough that it’s easy for him to keep up with them.

“Okay, firstly, do you have any idea where to start with looking for your memories?” Hongjoong asks him, and Seonghwa shakes his head.

“The most I know is that the Goddess will help me, but I don’t know how or what She’s going to do,” Seonghwa answers. Hongjoong had expected as much, but it was a little frustrating to be looking for something with literally no directions for it.

“Well,” San starts, weight rocking back and forth on his heels, “I think we might have found out something useful.”

“We’ve heard it before,” Wooyoung chimes in. “A long time ago. We thought it was just a tale, but we heard something a little more promising last night.”

“They say there’s a cave of the Goddess, where she stores the greatest treasures. Not material ones, but important ones: the cure to a deadly illness, the spirits of lost ones, memories that one has forgotten.”

“It’s better than nothing, but do you even have a direction for this cave? Any kind of general location?” Yeosang questions, and San shrugs.

“None, but I know some that just might.”

Hongjoong takes a moment to realise who San means, and then he sighs. _Oneus_ are allies of theirs, even though they did accidentally kidnap Mingi for a short period of time the first time they met — but the crew is well known for journeying beyond maps, to find legends and mythical places and beings.

But they’re ridiculously hard to pin down, and Hongjoong honestly thinks they might even be harder to find than the cave itself, and at least _Oneus_ definitely exist.

Everyone catches on to who San means with Hongjoong’s reaction, and there’s a mix of excitement and apprehension. They always have fun with the other crew, but finding them is going to be a journey and a half.

Seonghwa, though, just looks increasingly confused — and it’s just another sudden reminder to them all that Seonghwa doesn’t remember anything, doesn’t share the memories they all have with the other crew.

Hongjoong quickly explain to Seonghwa who they’re talking about, and then says “Okay, well they’re usually at the town of Rainbowbridge when they dock, and if not, someone around there should know where they’ve gone.”

“It’s lucky we aren’t too far, it should only take a couple weeks of sailing,” Yeosang says, map already held out in front of him with the help of Yunho. “Well, that’s without stops anyway.”

“Seonghwa needs to rest at night, and until there’s a solution for that, then we’ll just have to deal with the extra time,” Hongjoong tells them, and Yeosang nods in understanding, already trying to work out how long the trip will now take.

One glance at Seonghwa shows he’s conflicted, obviously feeling guilty about stopping the ship every night. But Hongjoong doesn’t think he can propose any idea that Seonghwa will agree with, and unless another solution appears, then there’s nothing they can do.

“We’ve taken longer voyages,” Hongjoong declares, waving a hand in nonchalance, trying to rid of Seonghwa’s guilt. “Even with stops, this is a short journey.”

Unless _Oneus_ are far away, in which case that might present an issue, but Hongjoong will cross that bridge when he gets to it.

The others have caught on to Seonghwa’s mood, and heartily agree with Hongjoong’s statement. He can tell that they want to find _Oneus_ as quickly as possible to help them find this cave, because it means getting Seonghwa’s memories back is all that much sooner — but if Seonghwa needs the time, then they’re willing to give it to him.

“Give us a heading Yeosang.” Hongjoong looks back to see that Yeosang’s already headed to the helm, placing the map on top of an upright barrel to study it. His finger traces the shapes of the lands before stopping, and he double checks the navigation before looking up and gesturing the others over.

“We’re headed here, going west,” he directs, and they follow the tracings of his finger over the path. There’s one unfavourable town Hongjoong remembers but other than that, it looks to be smooth sailing.

“Alright crew, it’s time to start our journey.”

* * *

Six days in, and Seonghwa is getting a little better at talking with them, more and more interested in the stories the crew share with him before heading to sleep.

On the seventh night, Hongjoong wanders quietly out of his quarters to accidentally catch San talking to Seonghwa, reciting one of his favourite memories.

“—and then Yunho and Mingi end up joining in the festival, and they really didn’t mean to, but they ended up getting more attention than the actual performers, who were so upset they got a witch to hex them. A _witch!_ ” San’s cackling in delight, and Seonghwa joins in, though he still sounds a bit confused. “So for two weeks, no matter what they did, their pants were always too long at the bottom so they’d trip, and holes would always appear in inconvenient places.”

Seonghwa’s properly laughing now, seeming to have caught onto the context he needed to understand.

“And you—” San pauses, stopping with his slip, but does his best to pick it back up. “And the first mate was so annoyed by it that he went to find the witch, except she told him he was too polite, and so for a day he could only make the noises of a cat.”

“A cat?”

“Yeah, they’re generally cute four-legged animals, sometimes kept as pets.” San shrugs at this, though the action is probably lost to Seonghwa, who can only barely see over the ship’s railing. “She liked cats a lot, I think, and she liked him, so she probably thought it was a good deed.”

“What does a cat sound like?” There’s something about Seonghwa’s voice though — something he’s trying to hide, and Hongjoong tilts his head curiously as he tries to figure it out.

San laughs, a little embarrassed. They’re all getting better in the face of explaining mundane things to Seonghwa, but sometimes it can catch them off-guard. “It’s uh... it ‘ _meows_ ’. Like this—” and proceeds to do, quite honestly, a decent impression of a cat.

Laughter echoes through the wind around them. Full, hearty laughter. Someone’s they haven’t heard in a long, long time now.

Hongjoong’s breath catches, stunned at hearing Seonghwa laugh. The ones he has heard, ever since they found him again, have been hesitant, like he’s cautious of bringing too much attention to it. But now it’s without any hesitation, without any cares, and Hongjoong releases an unsteady breath.

San seems to realise Seonghwa’s just played him a fool, and he splutters indignantly. “You knew! You _know_ what a cat sounds like!”

Seonghwa just laughs more — but the question comes to Hongjoong’s mind, wondering how Seonghwa knows.

“I do,” Seonghwa admits, almost breathless with laughter, but calming himself with the more serious topic. “There’s some things, strange things, I seem to know. Like I know how to speak your language, and I know what a cat is, but if I try and remember why or how, it just gives me a big headache.”

San gets excited at this, almost tumbling over the railing with his joy. “But it means you’re memories aren’t completely gone then. You still know some things from before.”

“Not enough,” Seonghwa cuts in, not sharing San’s excitement. “It’s nothing important that I remember. I just... I know things, like how to swim, and that I need to breathe, and random things like that. But never anything to do with being a human, or anything about myself.”

San settles in his excitement, but doesn’t let Seonghwa’s serious tone deter him. “Well, you remembered the sound of a cat, and yet got me to sound like an idiot. Honestly, I think it counts as important.”

Seonghwa laughs again at this, and Hongjoong smiles before retreating back into his quarters. He feels lighter, whatever dreams that had plagued him disappearing as he takes comfort in the fact that San and Seonghwa are talking comfortably.

On the eighth night, Seonghwa signals for Hongjoong as they drop anchor, once again looking like he’s conflicted with himself. Hongjoong patiently waits for him to sort out his thoughts, watching as Seonghwa glances between Hongjoong, the ship, and down to the water.

“I had a dream last night,” Seonghwa finally starts with, eyes lifting from the water to Hongjoong. “I think it was from the Goddess. I had the memory of being told She could take me where I needed to go, and then seeing land, and seeing myself walking.”

Hope sparks up in Hongjoong, but he tells himself to wait as Seonghwa continues. “I think She’s able to help me walk on the land,” he declares confidently, looking back down at the water, at his tail.

And the fact Seonghwa seems excited about the idea means he at least trusts Hongjoong with it. Hongjoong’s smiling widely, trying to think rationally beyond _he trusts me with this, he’s starting to trust us to go on land._

“Do you know how?” There’s tales about mermaids splitting their tails and walking the land to hunt for their next victim, they’re never clear about how, exactly, that happens.

“I think if I go on land, out of reach of the water. She’ll know I’m trying to leave Her terrain and help.”

That could also backfire, because the Goddess is known to be temperamental. She could take Seonghwa leaving as an offense, and Hongjoong doesn’t fancy his chances against Her.

But it’s their best chance right now, and Hongjoong has to put a bit of trust in Seonghwa — he’s the mermaid here, after all, one the Goddess seems to take interest in.

“We should definitely test it before we reach Rainbowbridge, if you want to come on land for that,” Hongjoong says, and Seonghwa appears cautious once again, his decision still conflicting.

“You don’t have to,” Hongjoong assures, but is eager to encourage Seonghwa onto land. “However, if we’re really looking for a cave, then you might need to walk to find your treasure, so it might be better to get used to it soon.”

Seonghwa’s looking hesitantly at the ship, and Hongjoong realises why: if he turns human, he’ll need to stay on the ship to remain dry. While he definitely trusts the crew more, he still doesn’t trust them entirely — and to him, it could be walking straight into a trap, on the crew’s strongest territory.

“We can find an empty island,” Hongjoong suggests, getting Seonghwa’s attention again. “We can anchor the ship and row ashore. When we’re on land, you’d be close to the water, and we can be as far back as you want us.”

He’ll need to double check with Yeosang, but he’s pretty sure he remembers an island that suppliers and traders use near their current coordinates. Seonghwa thinks over the idea, and then nods.

“Let me talk to Yeosang, I’ll be back and tell you what we can do,” Hongjoong promises, giving Seonghwa a sign with his hands to wait for him. He rushes off quickly, finding Yeosang with Yunho in the navigation cabin.

“Yeosang!” He greets, quick and excited as he lets himself think over the possibility of Seonghwa on land with them. “There was a supply island around, right? One that traders use to store supplies. Or any other empty island.”

Yeosang scans the map quickly, then nods. “It’ll add a day’s worth of sailing, but yes.”

“Head for it. We’re going to see if Seonghwa can go on land.” With those instructions, both Yeosang and Yunho perk up and start debating the quickest course.

“It should only take two days to get there,” they finally agree on, and Hongjoong thanks them before going back to relay it to Seonghwa, who smiles and gives a thumbs up — something he’s learned from one of them, no doubt.

True to their word, they arrive at the island two days later, the sun a few hours from setting.

They’re all aware of the plan, and the nervous energy surrounding them all is palpable. Mingi and Yunho have been roughhousing, San and Yeosang nervously pacing, Wooyoung carving into things with his knife, and Jongho hasn’t stopped humming the same song for hours.

Hongjoong’s really no better, running over the plan again and again. Seonghwa had quietly requested that only Hongjoong and San came with him to the island, which is a safety precaution for himself — easier to escape two people than seven.

Wooyoung passes Hongjoong a large piece of fabric, telling him he had showed Seonghwa how to tie it around his waist. They don’t know how the whole process with the tail will go, and Hongjoong hadn’t even considered clothing, so he’s thankful Wooyoung has taken it into consideration.

“Pants might be too hard,” Wooyoung says, watching Hongjoong tuck it into his bag. “So that should be a lot easier.”

“As long as it’s not windy,” Mingi snickers, and Hongjoong huffs a laugh.

“Nothing we haven’t seen before anyway.”

Jongho approaches them then, a worried frown to his lips. “He might not remember how to walk, so make sure you’re standing near him when he tries to.”

“I know, we will,” Hongjoong promises him, trying to ease some of his worry. He knows they were upset Seonghwa hadn’t wanted them on the island, but they’re empathetic as well. It just means they’re trusting San and Hongjoong to take care of everything.

Yeosang also passes him a small vial, quietly telling him it’s to ease any pain Seonghwa might experience. He makes sure the others don’t overhear him, even if it’s a worry they all share, just to make sure they don’t think the worst will happen.  
  
Seonghwa follows behind them as they row towards the island, and it’s ultimately not that far, but it's enough that Seonghwa looks a little more confident about the whole plan.

Cautious eyes watch San and Hongjoong as they climb out of the boat, and Hongjoong takes the fabric out of his bag, carefully placing it on the sand at his feet.

“Do you want us to move away?” San asks, and Seonghwa nods. Hongjoong starts to see just how nervous he truly is, and he does his best to look calm as he steps back, grabbing San’s hand and pulling him gently with him.

“Tell us how far, and we’ll stay there until you say otherwise,” Hongjoong does his best to sound honest and trustworthy — which is a strange thought, as he’s never had to _think_ about sounding like that with Seonghwa. He always just believed in Hongjoong, thought his words always trustworthy.

They’re stopped at a carefully planned distance away. It gives Seonghwa enough time to get back into the water even with legs he doesn’t know how to use, even if they sprint for him.

“How long do you think it’ll take?” San asks. Hongjoong turns to face him with his brows furrowed, a hand rising in a gesture to represent “ _why would you ask me that?_ ”

“I know as much about mermaids as you, San-ah,” he replies, and San smiles bashfully. He knows the others look to him, and looked to Seonghwa, for guidance about a lot of things — but Hongjoong’s truly out of his depth here, and he’s not going to pretend otherwise. “Which means nothing about how they turn into humans.”

They watch as Seonghwa slowly makes his way into shallower waters, starting to crawl his way up closer to the shore. When crawling on his stomach no longer works, he flips, sitting up and using the boat lodged in the sand to help haul himself up.

For the first time, they both get a proper glimpse at Seonghwa’s tail above water, and the sight is breathtaking. Thankfully, they’re angled just enough to see most of it. The red glistens in the sun, bright and vibrant against the whites and blues of the sand and sea.

It’s certainly longer than a pair of human legs, and Hongjoong wants to help haul him out of the water, because he’s definitely struggling just to get completely out of it.

He does worry for a moment that being out of water for a mermaid is the same for a fish — but figures they can move quickly enough to drag him back into the water if it looks too dangerous, so he waits as Seonghwa finally, finally gets himself completely out of reach of the gently lapsing waves.

Seonghwa just seems fascinated by the dry sand around him, fists picking it up and letting it pour out, which soon devolves into pouring it onto his own lap in amusement.

Seonghwa starts to look at the island properly now, studying the trees and grass and rocks. He catches eyes with both of them, but soon passes them over in favour of taking in more about the above-water world.

The sun is quite bright, and although there’s a bit of breeze from the sea that’s keeping them cool, it’s still hot enough that Hongjoong starts to worry. Mermaids aren’t made to just sit on the land in the sun, and Seonghwa isn’t used to being directly under the sun like this, and he has a goddamn tail so he should probably just be in the water before he shrivels up —

San lets out a noise of surprise a second before Hongjoong sees it. He squints, trying to see it better, and kind of wishes he brought his telescope with him. It doesn’t look real, like it’s just an illusion created by a heat-fried brain.

The red tail is starting to shimmer, appearing distorted, like water is being poured directly onto it. The red of Seonghwa’s tail starts to lose vibrancy, the colour starting to shift into something a lot more neutral, a lot more like skin.

It starts to look like it’s being covered entirely by water, like the tail is just made from the waves. The fins on the tail look like they’re melting into the sand, but Hongjoong can now see a stream of water is now connecting back to the ocean, formed from Seonghwa’s tail.

There’s a moment where there’s no more red left, and the stream of water flowing into the ocean starts to slow. Suddenly, the waves gently lapping at the shore recede, too quickly to be natural.

The waves quickly head back to shore, building momentum and size, and they watch as the waves — previously well out of range — go right up to Seonghwa’s lap, spraying him with water.

Seonghwa lets out a spluttering laugh as the wave recedes again, shaking his hair out. This time, when the waves come into shore, they doesn’t come anywhere near Seonghwa, naturally keeping their lower tide.

The strange motions of the water had taken their attention, but now they’ve got their focus back on Seonghwa completely, who’s still sitting on the sand, slightly wet from the splash, and —

He has legs. Two very human legs.

San suddenly lets out another surprised noise, but this one is more panicked, and Hongjoong immediately knows why. Seonghwa is very much naked — he only had his tail, after all — and while Hongjoong had gotten used to Seonghwa having no shirts on at all times as a mermaid, it’s suddenly a lot different when Seonghwa has no clothes on at all.

Seonghwa seems frozen, now realising his own predicament. He’s staring at his legs, not moving as he takes it in.

Hongjoong starts to notice that the red is starting to appear again, and he panics, because one minute is surely not enough for Seonghwa to be on land.

He has to wait and watch though, because that’s the promise he made to Seonghwa, even though his heart is pounding in his chest and he wants to curse at the Goddess, because this has to be a joke.

However, the tail doesn’t return. Instead, the red appears to be markings on Seonghwa’s legs — the same vibrancy and shade as his tail. He can’t make out what the markings mean or say, but there’s many different symbols that make Hongjoong think it’s certainly a spell of some kind. Wooyoung will most likely be the best to ask about it at any rate.

Seonghwa slowly starts to move, his hands hovering over his legs before he finally starts to pat at them. Then pokes at them, pulls the skin on them, like he’s trying to figure out if they’re really part of his body.

“Hyung,” San suddenly calls out in panic when Seonghwa’s hands start to go a little higher, then quickly lowers his panicked tone into a more calm, patient one. “Seonghwa, please tie the fabric on like Wooyoung told you how to.”

Seonghwa doesn’t seem like he’s heard them, still fascinated by his legs, but finally looks to see the fabric Hongjoong had placed down on the sand. It’s just out of his reach, thankfully avoiding the one wave that had hit Seonghwa, and Seonghwa pouts at it for a moment as he tries to figure out how to reach it.

He goes to do the same move as when he had a tail, hands behind him and hauling himself backwards. His legs seems just as useless as his tail on the land — just dragging along the sand, extra weight he has to try and pull up.

He does manage to reach the fabric at least, then stops and looks at his legs. He’s stuck for only a moment, and Hongjoong’s about to ask if he wants some help, but Seonghwa pulls himself back towards the boat.

Using it as support, Seonghwa manages to tuck his legs in, shifting until he’s leaning against the boat on his knees. His legs are moving together, like they’re still one appendage, but it isn’t too much of an issue for Seonghwa to pull his legs behind him and properly kneel.

The attempt to wrap the fabric is clumsy, but Seonghwa manages to do it to San’s great relief. Hongjoong’s honestly still processing the fact Seonghwa has legs, was very much naked, and now has bright red markings all over his legs that he now has, which —

He stops himself from spiraling in thoughts, because it won’t help any of them.

Seonghwa sags against the boat, still slightly kneeling, and looking like he doesn’t know how to move from that position now.

He tries to, pushing his weight down onto the boat and attempting to stand. But he struggles to get his legs working separately, and he barely manages to recover from falling back.

After another few attempts that end with similar results, he finally sits back on his heels, frustrated. He takes a deep breath, then turns to look directly at San and Hongjoong.

He knows Seonghwa doesn’t want to ask them for help, frustrated he can’t do it on his own and still wary about his new, vulnerable predicament — but he needs to now.

“Can we come over?” Hongjoong asks, and Seonghwa grits his teeth but gestures for them to come to him.

They head over, both of them subconsciously putting their hands up in a placating matter, trying not to appear threatening as they approach. Seonghwa’s got enough determination in his eyes that Hongjoong thinks even if he’s struggling to move, he’d be able to take them both down for his own safety.

“Let’s get you standing,” San says, crouching down next to Seonghwa, who’s still tightly gripping onto the boat, both of them working with unspoken synchronicity. “I’m going to help you up, so put your full weight on me if you need, okay?”

Hongjoong drops down as well, almost mirroring Seonghwa’s current position, acting as a a reflection for Seonghwa to follow.

Seonghwa’s mouth twists, uncomfortable at needing the help, but San just smiles patiently at him. “Hey, if we suddenly grew tails, we’d be useless. We’d probably drown.”

“Mermaids don’t drown,” Seonghwa tells him, and San laughs at that.

“Exactly, we’d be useless enough that we’d manage to do it anyway,” San replies, which does get Seonghwa to huff a laugh.

San seems to hesitate for a moment, but resolves himself and puts a hand around Seonghwa’s waist. He seems breathless for a moment, wary of touching Seonghwa like he never has been before.

It’s different, Hongjoong realises — to see Seonghwa, and then to feel him beneath their hands, to assure themselves he’s real, warm under their touch. When Seonghwa had saved him, held onto him, Hongjoong feels like it could have very well been a dream.

“Okay,” San breathes out, more for himself than Seonghwa. “Okay, let’s try and get your feet under you.”

Hongjoong does his best to demonstrate, placing one leg in front of him and waiting for Seonghwa to match him. He manages to, a set furrow in his eyebrows as he focuses on moving one leg at a time.

It takes a bit of effort, but they manage to get Seonghwa standing. He’s leaning heavily on San, feet unsteady beneath him as he shifts.

“This is weird,” Seonghwa huffs, toes digging into the sand. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hongjoong thinks that what’s weird is Seonghwa — who was very much a human before — is now a mermaid-turned-human, and can’t remember how to walk.

“You got it though!” San cheers, making sure he adjusts when Seonghwa tries to shift his weight. It’s a little bit like a baby animal learning to walk, with shaky legs and looking like he’s about to tumble over at any second. It’s a lot better than the babies Hongjoong’s seen attempting to walk though, which is promising at least.

Hongjoong’s arms reach out automatically when Seonghwa tries to take a step forward, knees immediately beginning to buckle with the unfamiliar action. Seonghwa flinches back just a little at Hongjoong’s sudden movement, and then overcompensates his weight by going backwards.

Despite his best effort, San can’t quite save Seonghwa from falling back.

“Sorry, sorry!” Hongjoong apologises, guilty over Seonghwa landing on his ass, blinking up at them in surprise like he’s not sure how he got there.

San can’t help his laugh, breaking the awkward tension, and Seonghwa starts to laugh as well. Hongjoong uncertainly follows, but it seems like Seonghwa isn’t upset — just surprised, and a little embarrassed about falling.

“Honestly, you’re doing better than Mingi when he’s had a few too many mouthfuls of ale,” San tells him, helping Seonghwa up again. The attempt goes a lot smoother this time around, and once Seonghwa’s standing, he shifts his weight so that he’s not leaning so heavily on San, able to stand on his own.

His excited grin makes Hongjoong’s heart beat just a little bit frantically, and both San and Hongjoong grin right back at him, sharing in his excitement.

“Let’s try walking,” Hongjoong encourages, and San’s immediately back at Seonghwa’s side for support.

It takes Seonghwa a couple of attempts to work out how to place his legs, a couple of near-falls again, but both of them are patient as Seonghwa does his best to get a hang of it. Once he starts to walk easier with San, he begins to let go — hovering, but not holding on.

Walking takes a while to get a hang of. Multiple times San or Hongjoong attempt to save Seonghwa from falling, which doesn't go so successfully only a couple of times.

Every time it doesn't go so well, they all laugh in embarrassment, but it takes Seonghwa less and less time to get his feet under him. Eventually, he's able to get back on his feet with no assistance.

Seonghwa's strides on his own lack confidence, still careful with every step, but he's able to walk properly on his own. They both hover around him just in case, but Seonghwa saves himself from any near-stumbles.

"So much better than Mingi," San laments.

They keep practicing until the sun is beginning to dip into the horizon, Seonghwa now walking almost completely normally. They’ve lead him onto the grass for a more stable ground to walk on, and Seonghwa’s reaction to the soft feeling of it under his feet is beyond endearing.

“He’s so cute,” San coos at one point, when Seonghwa’s stopped walking and is instead touching as many things as he can — currently fascinated by a certain flower growing from the ground.

Hongjoong definitely agrees. He thinks his heart might give out from how cute it all is. He likes to see Seonghwa’s cute side, on the very rare ocassion Hongjoong manages to convince him to do it, but this is completely natural — just an adorable, pure reaction to the world around him that he no longer remembers.

“Should we call it a day?” Hongjoong finally suggests, watching the sun beginning to set. “We should head back to the ship before it gets too dark.”

Seonghwa seems reluctant, staring down sadly at his legs, but agrees. San does his best to cheer him up, clapping him on the shoulder. “Hey, now you can come onto land with us at Rainbowbridge, if you want! You were able to learn in such a short time, it shouldn’t be an issue now.”

Seonghwa seems unsure about the idea, but the excitement about being able to walk overpowers any uncertainty for the moment, and he flushes under the praise.

Before he can think any better of it, San suddenly and very quickly envelops Seonghwa in a hug, pulling away before Seonghwa can even think about his reaction. “Sorry, sorry, I just... I’ve really missed you. I mean... Yeah.”

San trails off, uncertain about how to convey his emotions, but Seonghwa takes it in stride despite his obvious surprise at the action. “It’s okay,” he reassures, smiling softly.

Seonghwa glances at Hongjoong like he’s trying to judge if Hongjoong’s suddenly going to throw himself at him for a hug, but Hongjoong just smiles and doesn’t move from his place. It seems like Seonghwa’s still processing how he feels about the hug, and Hongjoong doesn’t want to overwhelm him suddenly.

“Okay, so do you just head back into the sea?” Hongjoong asks, looking out to the waves. The tide has risen a little, their boat now gently being brushed up against by waves, but in no danger of being displaced.

“I believe so,” Seonghwa replies. Surprisingly, he hesitates, like he’s not sure he should head towards it. After a moment of deliberation, he nods to himself, then starts to walk towards it.

San and Hongjoong follow him, watching as he stops before the waves, staring out at the sunset. He glances back once at the two of them, smiling, and then starts to wade into the water.

The water begins to rise up against his legs, the red of the markings beginning to swirl into the water around him. Seonghwa is lifted just a little, the water pushing him up, and he uses the momentum to dive into the water.

The water is creating a similar mirage to the one they saw when Seonghwa’s tail was disappearing, but now it’s blurring his two legs together, the red and the water swirling around him. By the time Seonghwa’s almost completely dived in, Hongjoong catches the red fins at the end of his tail breaking into the water.

Seonghwa submerges, and Hongjoong can now see his legs have completely merged into his tail beneath the clear waters. Seonghwa looks comfortable, back in the element he currently knows best, and is still smiling at both of them.

San and Hongjoong push the rowboat back into the water, clambering in as Hongjoong picks up the oars. Seonghwa stays beside them, passing back the drenched piece of fabric previously tied around his waist, and leisurely swims as they row back towards the ship.

Seonghwa seems like he’s thinking intently about something, so San and Hongjoong fill the air with casual conversation, wondering what Yeosang’s picked out of their supplies to have for dinner.

When they get back to the ship, Yunho and Wooyoung drop the ropes, and they attach it, ready to be pulled up.

“We’ll move again at sunrise and get back on course,” Hongjoong tells Seonghwa, who gives him a thumbs up in understanding. San snickers, which means Seonghwa’s probably learned it from him.

When San and Hongjoong step onto deck, they’re greeted by five other excited faces, eager to hear about the day.

“We took turns with the telescope,” Jongho tells them as they’re sitting down, passing cans of food between each other. Hongjoong had assumed as much, and they start to ask him questions about the things they saw, how Seonghwa feels about it, if it’ll be okay to bring him onto land.

Hongjoong remembers something, then turns to Wooyoung. “Did you get a look at the markings on his legs?”

Wooyoung shakes his head. “I saw them, but I couldn’t see them well enough to figure out what they were.”

“We should figure it out before he gets onto land with others,” Yeosang says. “I mean, we’ll make sure no one else sees it regardless, but it could mean anything and we should be cautious.”

“Of course,” Hongjoong assures. “We’ll probably get him to practice walking again. He’ll need to get onto the ship before we dock if he wants to come onto land anyway.”

The others are excited about the idea of it, and the atmosphere is bright and jovial as they eat. It continues well into the night, to the point where Hongjoong warns them they won’t be able to get up with the sunrise, but it’s barely a scolding — it’s great to see his crew in such high spirits, and Hongjoong lets them off lightly.

In the morning, just as the first light of the sunrise begins, he wakes to Mingi and Yunho both launching themselves at him, sporting wide smiles.

He groans, annoyed at being woken up, and tries to shove them off him. They laugh and continue to climb on top of him, limbs going everywhere as Hongjoong tries to go back to sleep.

“Hyung,” Yunho whines, pitiful. “Captain, someone’s waiting to speak to you.”

He’s about to tell them to go away, that whoever’s waiting can wait longer, but Yunho’s playful tone means he’s definitely excited about whoever it is, and that Hongjoong is missing out by not speaking to them.

Hongjoong flings the blankets off the second he realises who it might possibly be, sending the two sprawling onto the floor. He rushes outside onto the main deck, where everyone is already lingering around, challenging Hongjoong’s expectation that they would all be too tired to wake with the sunrise.

They’re doing their best to act like they’re not going to eavesdrop on the conversation Hongjoong’s about to apparently have, but Hongjoong might need to give them a good lesson about acting nonchalant.

“Morning,” he says to Seonghwa, who smiles at him in greeting.

For a breathtaking moment, Hongjoong remembers the last day he had seen Seonghwa as a human. The sunrise lighting his features, casting a soft glow around him, the way Hongjoong had been just as enamoured. He looks like that again, the water reflecting the warm colours of the sky, now making Seonghwa look even more ethereal than ever before.

Seonghwa obviously has something to say, awkwardly swishing the water around his chest with his hand. The motions are soothing, and Hongjoong finds himself entranced by it.

Finally, Seonghwa stops, looking at Hongjoong intensely.

“I want to come onto the ship,” Seonghwa claims, sounding completely positive and determined.

Hongjoong barely stops himself from showing visible surprise, because _that_ was not something he expected Seonghwa to say.

“Why?” he blurts out in question, because he can’t think very well past his own shock.

“So that we don’t need to stop every night so that I can rest in the water.”

Hongjoong thinks the words over, ignoring the excited murmur from the crew, who are still miserably failing at pretending like they’re not listening.

“Us stopping for you to rest is no problem,” Hongjoong affirms, because he doesn’t want Seonghwa to push himself into an uncomfortable situation just so he doesn’t feel like a burden. “If you need to rest, then we will rest. You don’t need to come up here if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Seonghwa replies, still just as confident. “I want to complete this journey as quickly as possible. I want to remember.”

“Okay. Okay, now?” Hongjoong asks, thoughts racing by so quickly that he can barely latch onto any sort of plan. “We can drop a rowboat and help you up easily while we’ve still got our anchor dropped.”

Usually they’d just drop the ladder, but Hongjoong isn’t all too confident in Seonghwa’s ladder-climbing abilities with a tail.

Seonghwa’s confidence does falter a little at the immediate prospect of going on the ship, but squares his shoulders and nods.

“Then we’ll drop one now and get you onto the ship,” Hongjoong says, but he projects his voice so that the others properly hear it, already moving into action.  
  
Hongjoong turns to look at the crew, San holding out and inspecting the still-wet fabric they had used the day before to cover Seonghwa with. Deeming it unusable, he moves quickly, headed below deck to find something else for Seonghwa to use.  
  
They carefully lower a rowboat down, keeping the ropes tied to it as it rests on top of the water. Seonghwa takes a moment to think about how to haul himself up into it, leaning on it similarly as he did the day before.  
  
Hongjoong thinks he might just tip the rowboat over whilst trying to climb into it, but Seonghwa manages to push himself up with his tail, getting enough force that he doesn’t really have to use too much weight on his arms to get in.

He manages to get most of himself on the rowboat — and if it was anyone else, the pose would be completely undignified and shameful. But Seonghwa’s always been too good at looking unfairly graceful, and even with half a tail hanging out of the rowboat and his face awfully close to the bottom of the boat, and he manages to delicately pull the rest of himself into the boat.

San steps up next to him, holding a different patterned fabric, but similar enough in cut to yesterday’s so that Hongjoong doesn’t have to worry about how Seonghwa will handle it.

They carefully pull the boat up, stopping near the level of the deck. His crew pause, shocked at seeing Seonghwa so close, at seeing the tail right before their eyes.

“It might be easier if we wait for my legs,” Seonghwa gestures down to his tail, which is yet to show any signs of disappearing. He’s right, because Hongjoong doesn’t really know how to go about hauling a mermaid onto the deck.

The others are still stunned in silence, even more so as the tail begins to shimmer, slowly turning into a mirage of water. The water begins to trickle out the side of the boat unnaturally, reconnecting with the sea as Seonghwa’s tail begins to disappear.

Seonghwa seems flustered under the attention, but ultimately more interested in watching his tail turn into legs again.  
  
Right before his tail disappears entirely, San passes Seonghwa the fabric, who covers his lap with it. It gets a little bit wet, but even then the water seems to disappear from it and flows back into the sea.

Hongjoong quickly gets all of them to turn around and give Seonghwa a bit of privacy as he works out the fabric, giving them an affirmative grunt before they can turn back around.

He’s managed to stand a little unsteadily, and Yunho quickly reaches out an automatic hand to help pull him onto the ship. Seonghwa takes it with little hesitation, using it as support as he does his best to step on the deck.

He stumbles a little, and Yunho is quick to pull him into his chest to help steady him. Yunho nervously laughs, seemingly now only just realising that he’s pulled Seonghwa so close to him, and does his best to carefully pull away, giving Seonghwa his space.

Seonghwa’s flushed red, but recovers well enough, standing steadily enough on his own that Yunho lets go. They’re all still stunned, mostly unmoving, just staring at Seonghwa before them.

Hongjoong has realised this, over the past couple of days: the mermaid that’s been swimming besides their ship means different things to each of them.

For some, it’s a cruel reminder of who they’ve lost, something painful and raw. For others, it’s a symbol of hope, a second chance to get someone back.

Regardless, they’ve known the mermaid as Seonghwa — but it isn’t quite Seonghwa, not like they want to believe. The distance between them, from the ship to the sea, from legs to a tail, had been enough that they hadn’t quite made a proper connection, hadn’t quite been able to really _completely_ think of the mermaid as the Seonghwa they knew.

But now he’s before them with legs, looking as human as he always had been, standing on the ship with the sun rising behind him, illuminated in the soft light like it had they day they lost him —

It’s like something suddenly connects, particularly for the five that hadn’t seen Seonghwa’s form before them like this. Realising that this person before them, with legs and someone they can properly _touch_ — it’s Seonghwa.

And then it’s like something _breaks._

“Seonghwa-hyung,” Jongho says, in such a soft, soft voice that Hongjoong’s own heart shatters. His hands are clenching and unclenching at his sides, arm raising for a moment before dropping, clearly fighting with himself to properly reach out and touch Seonghwa.

The mermaid that was beside the ship is now before them, and it’s like it’s stopped being a dream. Like this is something they’ll wake up from.

This is very, very real. Seonghwa’s back on the ship with them, the crew complete once again.

Hongjoong gives them a couple more moments, but he’s watching Seonghwa carefully as he's looking a bit overwhelmed. He’s looking between them all with confusion, but there’s something gentle too, similar to his reaction when San had first hugged him.

But five of them is very different to _one,_ so Hongjoong clears his throat and steps forward, getting their attention.

“Raise the anchor, let’s get moving,” Hongjoong orders, and it seems to snap them out of it. San has to pull Wooyoung and Jongho along by the hands to the capstan to help raise the anchor, while the others head to the masts.

“Here, follow me,” Hongjoong offers to Seonghwa, as he’s looking a little lost in all the chaos of everyone moving around.

He heads towards the wheel, both Yeosang and Seonghwa following. Yeosang holds out his arm for support when Seonghwa stumbles on the first step, and Seonghwa takes it for another few.

Hongjoong does, however, forget there are stairs up to the wheel, and he turns to look back at Seonghwa with a nervous smile. Yeosang just gives Hongjoong a small, reassuring smile, and is patient as he helps Seonghwa up the stairs.

“ _Why,"_ is all Seonghwa whines once he’s up on the upper deck, apparently offended by the creation of stairs. Yeosang barely contains a snort as he leads him over to the wheel Hongjoong’s behind.

“The wind is good today, Captain,” Yeosang informs, “So we should make some good distance.”

Hongjoong grins at this, resting a hand on the wheel as he feels _Ateez_ within him, just as excited for the voyage as he is.

When the ship begins to move, Seonghwa stumbles a little, unfamiliar with the motions of the rocking boat. Yeosang helps him balance soon enough, and Hongjoong lets himself focus on steering the ship for the time being, lost in the familiar and comforting motions of it.

And while Seonghwa doesn’t remember anything about being his first mate, the familiar presence of him beside Hongjoong makes him feel _complete_ again. Like the massive hole that’s been in his chest the past few months is properly, finally, closing up and healing.

Seonghwa seems content with just standing around for a bit, interested in the process of everyone turning the sails and Hongjoong steering, but eventually starts to get a bit restless.

“Would you like a tour?” Hongjoong asks him, and Seonghwa’s eyes widen for a moment before he smiles and agrees.

While Hongjoong knows none of them really want Seonghwa out of their sight, Yeosang offers to take the wheel, for which Hongjoong thanks him profusely for.

Yeosang just waves him off, giving Seonghwa a soft smile. “It’s enough to just see him back home,” Yeosang tells Hongjoong quietly, then shoos both of them off the deck.

Going down stairs is a little easier than going up at least, but the added rocking motion provides a little bit of difficulty. Seonghwa holds onto Hongjoong’s arm while he makes his way down, and only holds on for a couple of seconds after, still getting used to the rocking.

“This is our main deck.” Hongjoong gestures around himself, and notices Seonghwa’s eyes catching on the sails above them.

He gets a little bit lost in describing all the features, all the things their ship can do. But Seonghwa seems keen to learn, asking questions and pointing things out.

He points out the netting towards the crow’s nest, and Hongjoong laughs. “Right, that goes up to the crow’s nest. Someone goes up there to look for vantage points, to see out further and higher. Usually San or Jongho are up there.”

Seonghwa looks a little ill at the sight of it, which is certainly familiar. “It’s too high for you, isn’t it? You never liked going up there.”

Hongjoong’s been trying to avoid mentioning anything about Seonghwa’s life on the ship that he doesn’t remember, but this one slips out, lost in the fondness of memories at Seonghwa complaining whenever Hongjoong threatened that had to go up there — on the rare occasion even bending to Hongjoong’s will and acting cute just to get out of it.

The instances he had to go up there were rare, only when they were truly desperate, and those times Seonghwa never complained, but always did look a little bit pale once he got down.

Seonghwa doesn’t seem too off-put by Hongjoong mentioning it at least, just pulls a face at the sight of it before moving on to pointing out other things.

The crew take turns in hovering, interjecting and explaining whenever Hongjoong allowed them too, eager to teach Seonghwa about their ship that they all took so much pride in. Hongjoong is happy to let them, always enjoying watching the others interact with Seonghwa.

Yunho comes up to them at one point, holding a shirt in front of him and passing it to Seonghwa. “Here, it helps keep the sun off your back.”

Hongjoong recognises it as one of Seonghwa’s shirts, one that had been locked away in his chest for a while now. Seonghwa takes it, but seems confused by the item of clothing, and Yunho smiles before helping him put it on.

“It fits well,” Seonghwa remarks, stretching his arms out in front of him, the loose long sleeves rustling with the wind. Yunho’s smile is a little sadder now as he helps to tie it near his collarbones.

“I’m glad, you can keep it then.” Yunho steps back, taking a moment to regard Seonghwa, then nods to Hongjoong as he walks back over to Mingi. Seonghwa’s playing around with the shirt, fascination of the clothing taking over his focus, but at least continues to follow Hongjoong as he walks.

Eventually they get to the captain’s quarters, and Hongjoong leads him inside, gesturing to some of the more obvious sights. The large map he’s currently scribbling over that’s pinned to the wall, some of his best treasures, and explaining anything else Seonghwa points out.

Seonghwa looks around a bit, but seems rather uncomfortable being in the space, and Hongjoong feels his stomach drop a little at that. The quarters became just as much of Seonghwa’s space as his own, so to see him so out of depth and unfamiliar with it sends a pang through him.

Seonghwa’s eyes start to focus on something near the bed, and his eyebrows furrow. Hongjoong fails to notice what he’s looking at, waiting for Seonghwa to ask.

“These are your quarters, right?” Seonghwa finally asks, and Hongjoong gives an affirmative. “Why is that side so tidy, but the rest of these chambers so messy?”

 _Of course that’s what he notices,_ Hongjoong thinks faintly, both exasperated and fond. Then the question really sinks in, and Hongjoong’s heart hurts again.

_Because it was your side. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it._

Instead of saying that, Hongjoong does his best to act indifferent, shrugging, relying on his more aloof persona so that he doesn’t give away what he’s really feeling. “Because I don’t use it. Come on, let’s go snoop into the crew’s quarters.”

Seonghwa doesn’t follow Hongjoong immediately, just stands and stares at the side of the room that was his. He looks back at Hongjoong like he’s trying to figure something out, and it unsettles Hongjoong so much that he turns and begins to walk, gesturing for Seonghwa to follow him.

Seonghwa’s quieter after that, and while he does seem to take interest in the quarters, the cargo hold, and all the cannons, he seems distracted. Hongjoong lets him be, reminding himself that Seonghwa’s trusting them all enough to come onto the ship, into what he thinks is only their space, and he’s letting Hongjoong give him a tour of it all. That means a great deal on its own.

Hongjoong’s made his way back onto the main deck, and Wooyoung stops his wrestling with San to slide over to them, stepping up next to Seonghwa to talk to him.

“Do you want me to look at those markings?” He asks, gesturing to Seonghwa’s legs. The fabric covers most of them up to his knees, but the rest are rather visible. “I might be able to recognise some of them, and I have a few scrolls around for any I might not be able to.”

Seonghwa looks at Hongjoong like he’s asking permission, and Hongjoong just shrugs. “It’s up to you. But Wooyoung’s one of the best I’ve ever seen at deciphering keys and symbols.”

Wooyoung’s looking at Seonghwa with wide eyes, the type of pleading eyes he uses when he’s in trouble and trying to get out of it, and Seonghwa caves just as easily as he ever has.

Seonghwa doesn’t need to say it, because Wooyoung’s already lighting up in glee and grabbing his hand, pulling him along and into the infirmary.

He keeps most of his scrolls there, amongst Seonghwa and Yunho’s medical scrolls — after an incident of them being scattered around and lost at an inconvenient time, when Hongjoong had been cursed and Wooyoung couldn’t identify it without them.

He doesn’t really remember a lot of his time being cursed. It had inflicted upon his emotions, making him brash and angry, more than once putting himself and the others in danger with his impulsive actions.

Seonghwa had realised something wasn’t right first, hauling Hongjoong into the infirmary and keeping him there as the others fretted about, worried about their captain. Seonghwa had kept them calm, even as Wooyoung panicked the moment he realised he couldn’t find the scroll he needed to counter the curse.

Seonghwa’s level-head and steadiness kept everyone in order though, that much Hongjoong remembers. And he remembers waking up on one of the uncomfortable infirmary cots, Seonghwa clutching his hand — tightly enough that Hongjoong, who barely remembered anything other than Seonghwa being so calm and keeping everyone under control, knew he had greatly worried him.

“This might take a while,” Wooyoung warns them both, which is basically him telling Hongjoong to leave them be for a little bit.

Seonghwa glances back at him once, seemingly bewildered at being pulled along. He doesn’t seem nervous though, so Hongjoong doesn’t feel too worried about leaving Wooyoung with him for now.

Hongjoong distracts himself by taking to the wheel again. Yeosang stands near him, leaning against the railing on the side.

“She’s moving well today Captain,” Yeosang comments, patting the wood beneath him. “Faster than anticipated.”

“She’s happy,” Hongjoong summarises, because that’s the best way to describe his ship, the thrumming under his fingers and in his soul. “I think it’s because Seonghwa’s back on board, and she loves him just as much as any of us do.”

Yeosang hums his agreement, and some time passes with Hongjoong at the wheel before Wooyoung and Seonghwa finally emerge onto the main deck.

They both immediately head up to Hongjoong, Seonghwa barely needing assistance to climb the stairs. The others follow behind them, all eager to hear the conversation.

“Well, thankfully I managed to find a scroll that a lot of these markings appeared in,” Wooyoung starts, gesturing to Seonghwa’s legs. “Some of them I’ve seen before as well.”

Wooyoung then crouches, pulling aside the fabric to point at certain markings. Seonghwa looks embarrassed with the attention, but not so much with Wooyoung’s handling, which means he’s gotten all too used to it already.

“These ones here,” Wooyoung gestures to a line of symbols, “Kind of mean ‘limited time’. They interconnect with this line, which means ‘return to the original state’. I noticed the marks aren’t as bright now as they had been when he first turned today, so I believe they’re a warning. Once they fade entirely, Seonghwa returns to being a mermaid.”

“How long is the limited time?” Mingi asks, curiously peering at the markings.

“They look like they’re slow to fade, I’d guess around a full day. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find anything about how long he needs to be a mermaid before he can turn human again.”

“Well, he did it within much less than a day,” Yunho says, and Wooyoung grunts.

“Yes, but he was a mermaid for less than a day yesterday. The time on land could correspond to the time needed back in the water, so if he’s a human for a full day, he might need to be a mermaid for another full day. But really, I don’t know,” Wooyoung answers, mouth twisting at not knowing the answer.

Suddenly he lights up, hands moving quickly as he pulls aside the fabric. He points out a long line of symbols twisting up Seonghwa’s leg, from his ankle to just above his knee.

“This is very promising though. I’m rather sure they mean that if the lost is returned, then the original state shall also be returned, and I’ve been thinking it over. It might just mean that if we retrieve Seonghwa’s lost memories, then his body should also return to being a human — the original state.”

There’s a mixture of excitement and apprehension with the words. They had all kind of figured that while they might be able to retrieve Seonghwa’s memories, there might not be anything they can do about his new state of being a mermaid.

It’s no guarantee, but Wooyoung’s theory sparks a bit of hope in Hongjoong. If Seonghwa could return to them, fully, without needing to worry and being in danger for being a very valuable — and basically almost mythical — creature, then Hongjoong is all for it.

“Anything else?” Hongjoong questions, staring at the other symbols he can see.

“The rest of the markings seem to just be for the actual transformation, like a spell, kind of just how the process goes from mermaid into man,” Wooyoung lets the fabric drop, standing properly now. “But what they really mean is that anyone who knows anything about symbols will most likely immediately figure he’s a mermaid, so. There’s that.”

“So we just don’t let anyone see them,” Mingi says, a playful smile on his face. “Sorry hyung, you’ll need to start wearing pants.”

“He’ll rip them once he turns back into a mermaid,” Jongho argues, exasperated. “He will only need pants if he comes onto land.”

“Those are pants, right?” Seonghwa leans into him, pointing at Yeosang’s own pair. Hongjoong laughs and confirms, and Seonghwa hums. “Then yes,” he confirms, to Hongjoong’s amusement, “they will indeed rip.”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong watch as the rest of the crew start to playfully rile each other up, arguments starting about the silliest of things. Hongjoong joins in at one stage, just to be part of the joyous atmosphere, but is content alone in watching it.

When nightfall comes, Hongjoong is standing behind the wheel, looking out towards the sea. They’re almost back on course now, and should be by the time the sun rises again.

Seonghwa has taken to sitting near the front of the ship, watching the waves part beneath the hull. Mingi sits with him for a while, his cheerful laughter and Seonghwa’s own slightly restricted one, echoing throughout the air around them.

Wooyoung and San emerge with warm pots of food and utensils onto the main deck, the others cheering the moment they realise they’re having a warm dinner.

Mingi drags Seonghwa over, getting him to sit in the circle they’ve created. They’ve continued with eating on the open deck since they first found Seonghwa, and it’s yet to change.

It doesn’t pass Hongjoong’s notice that the food used to be Seonghwa’s favourite meal, and that others have already started to load food onto the plate that’s been shoved into Seonghwa’s hands.

“Wait,” Jongho suddenly says, midway through putting more food onto Seonghwa’s plate. “Wait, can you even eat this?”

Seonghwa seems befuddled by the plate in his hand, and all the food on top of it. “I really hope so,” he finally pouts, looking at the food enviously.

They wait with baited breath as Seonghwa finally bites into his meal, eyes widening with surprise and delight. He starts to laugh, covering his mouth with his hand, pleasantly shocked about the taste.

“Better than whatever you’re eating down there, isn’t it?” Mingi teases, nudging him with his elbow. Seonghwa immediately nods in agreement, eating more instead of speaking.

It’s quieter than their past couple of meals have been, each of them enjoying the food so much that they’d rather focus on it. It’s not the same kind of quietness that’s plagued them for so long, like they’re listening for a ghost.

Now, they’re enjoying the presence of Seonghwa with them. The quiet isn’t oppressive, isn’t just a reminder of who they’re missing. It’s now a celebration of who they’ve found.

Mingi and Yunho lose a game that means they have to clean up the dishes, and they aren’t ones to complain quietly about it. By the time they get back to the main deck, dishes all cleaned up, the others have started to sing and dance. Jongho, Wooyoung and Yeosang are singing, and Jongho has even gotten out his mandolin to pluck at.

San has dragged Hongjoong up and is dancing with him, a combination of steps Hongjoong is familiar with and ones he’s never seen before. Yunho and Mingi quickly jump into the fray, pulling up all the others still seated.

Wooyoung’s singing turns into delighted laughter more than once, and Jongho loses the tempo a few times as the others randomly change it.

Seonghwa has also been forced to join, Mingi wrapping their arms together and swinging him around. Seonghwa stumbles a couple of times, still trying to get used to the faster pace and the skipping Mingi randomly breaks into, but he recovers well every time.

Seonghwa is passed between them all, each of them whisking him off into a different dance. When Yunho passes him to Hongjoong, Seonghwa’s smiling so widely and so freely that Hongjoong just grabs both of his hands and starts to spin with him in delight.

He picks up on the pace quite easily, keeping up steadily with Hongjoong as they skip in a circle. The others begin to join in, connecting hands and expanding the circle as they skip around.

Eventually the circle breaks, a couple of them sitting back down, Jongho picking up his instrument again. The next couple of songs are slower, and Seonghwa eventually plonks himself down on the deck next to him.

Hongjoong’s been whisked off by Yunho, who’s singing a song with lyrics slightly different than Hongjoong remembers them, which makes for an interesting duo.

It means he isn’t paying attention to Jongho and Wooyoung encouraging Seonghwa to attempt the next song, trying to teach him the lyrics. They’re rather easy to pick up on, and Hongjoong’s already singing them without really thinking about it.

Then, suddenly, Seonghwa’s voice starts. It’s soft, unsure, but it makes Hongjoong’s falter. Yunho does too, all of them coming to a pause at hearing Seonghwa quietly singing.

Seonghwa used to sing with them a lot. Sometimes softly — humming with San, sometimes joining in quietly when the others were being louder, and sometimes singing quiet lullabies at night when one of them had trouble sleeping.

Sometimes, not as commonly, he’d sing louder. Confidently with Jongho and Yeosang, chaotically with Mingi and Yunho.

Hongjoong has one very special memory of Seonghwa sitting at the front of ship, only Hongjoong awake and at the wheel, singing to the night sky around them.

Seonghwa’s voice loses volume once he notices how much attention he’s suddenly gotten, all of them basking in the sound of his voice. Quickly working to fix it, Yunho picking the pace back up with Hongjoong, and the others starting to raise the volume of their singing to give him confidence.

By the end of the song, Seonghwa’s almost properly singing. He’s still quieter than his usual standard of when he’s confident, but his voice is still clear enough, harmonising well with all of theirs.

None of them want to leave the joyous moments and memories they’re having, but Yeosang starts to yawn — and it’s like dominoes from there. They’re winding down, about to head to sleep, when they all seem to realise something and stop.

“Seonghwa,” Yunho prompts, getting his attention. “Where are you staying tonight?”

Seonghwa seems like he’s already prepared for the question, because he gestures to the deck without needing to think it over. “Out here. Close to the water.”

The thought of the hard deck makes them wince, and San’s quick to speak up. “You can come sleep with us, if you want. You can have a bed to yourself, or the whole quarter if you want it honestly.”

The others seem prepared to give up their quarters for Seonghwa to sleep there comfortably, but Seonghwa adamantly shakes his head. Hongjoong is about to offer his own quarters, what used to be Seonghwa’s as well, but stops himself before he can. He knows Seonghwa won’t take it, and pressuring him to take a quarter might just stress him out more.

And while Seonghwa trusts them a lot more now, it is his first night on the ship. It’s not a mermaid’s territory, and Seonghwa’s well aware of that. So being closer to the water, his best escape route and having some distance from all of them, probably eases his nerves.

The crew still seem uneasy about leaving him out on the deck by himself, but then San is suddenly grabbing Wooyoung and Yunho’s hands, dragging them back down below.

Their sudden departure leaves them all curious, and they wait around awkwardly until the three re-emerge, blankets and two pillows in their arms. Seonghwa lets out a soft little “oh”, surprised as they walk out with them.

There’s a spot that Seonghwa was particularly fond of on the main deck, where he could look out from the side of the ship, but also had the best vantage point to see as much of the ship as possible.

The three pile the blankets there, laying down two on the ground and placing the pillow at the end, and then folding another three blankets and putting them to the side.

“What about your blankets for the night?” Seonghwa asks, hands outstretched slightly like he wants to stop them. But there’s nothing that can stop San when he’s determined, and it seems like Seonghwa has already figured that out.

San just smiles at him, patting the folded blankets before standing up. “These are the spares for when the nights are extremely cold. It’s not as cold down in our quarters as it is up here, so you’re not displacing anyone of their blanket.”

Before Seonghwa can ask, Wooyoung is already anticipating his next question. “And the pillow is San’s, but he’ll just share mine anyway.”

“Oh,” Seonghwa says again, looking at the attempt of a bed they’ve made for him. His voice is a little thick, the way it gets when one of them, on the rare occasion, genuinely expresses their gratitude for him. “Thank you.”

Hongjoong can hear what’s unsaid amongst the crew: _you’d do it for us. You’ve done it for us. Let us take care of you this time._

“If you need anything else, let us know,” Wooyoung pipes up. “San’s a blanket thief, but even he’d give it up for you.”

San rolls his eyes dramatically, then drapes himself over the back of Wooyoung. “He’s not wrong though. If you need it, just ask.”

Seonghwa doesn’t seem to trust his words anymore, just smiles a little shakily at them and nods. They all take their leave with the confirmation, waving goodnight.

Hongjoong runs a hand through his hair, heart full and fond for his crew members. Seonghwa seems to be having the same revelation, which is comforting.

“I’m going to stay up a bit behind the wheel, make sure we’re headed in the right direction,” Hongjoong informs him, not wanting Seonghwa to feel uncomfortable with his lingering presence. “I’ll retire to bed soon enough though, _Ateez_ can manage herself unless I’m truly needed.”

Seonghwa gives an affirming noise, walking towards his new bed. Hongjoong leaves him be, going to the wheel and lazily resting a hand on it.

He can feel Seonghwa watching him. It's not an unfamiliar motion, but it’s unfamiliar in its intentions. Seonghwa’s watching now because he’s still a little cautious, still prepared to run at the first sign of trouble, still not entirely trusting.

Hongjoong just gives him one glance, just enough to give a reassuring smile, but one that also means goodnight. After that, he focuses on the view in front of him, on steering his ship, to give Seonghwa a little bit of privacy.

Surprisingly to him, Seonghwa does actually settle down onto the blankets, even unrolling two to wrap around himself as the chill in the air begins to pick up. He doesn’t fall asleep though — he’s too still, too wary of his surroundings, and probably all too aware of Hongjoong at the wheel.

While Hongjoong would usually stay up a while longer, he decides that _Ateez_ feels okay on her own. She’s in high spirits, and it means she’ll be fine guiding herself until Hongjoong’s really needed. It will only be a few hours anyway, so Hongjoong’s not too worried about it.

Hongjoong waves goodnight to him as he heads into his quarters, Seonghwa’s eyes tracking him the entire time. Seonghwa finally gives him a nod right as Hongjoong turns around one last time to shut his door.

The past day has felt like too good of a dream, and Hongjoong’s almost nervous to fall asleep, like when he wakes up he’ll discover he’s been sleeping through this entire day as well.

But this kind of joy isn’t hiding behind mourning, isn’t tinged by grief, like his ‘good’ dreams usually are. Hongjoong crawls into bed, with the all-too pressing knowledge of knowing Seonghwa’s just outside, is on _Ateez_ with them all again.

He falls asleep, and this time he does not dream.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick disclaimer: the only thing i know abt oneus is they have amazing music but otherwise it's only that only weekly idol ep with ateez, so please excuse their characterisation oop

Hongjoong wakes just before the sun does, an uneasy feeling stirring in his stomach.

It’s not his own unease — not quite. It’s _Ateez_ , feeling unsettled and nervous about something.

That gets him moving quickly, and he almost falls out of bed trying to get out onto the main deck. He flings the door of his quarter’s open, taking a moment to figure out what’s going on.

Seonghwa’s standing up, currently trying to fold up his shirt and place it on top of the blankets. Seonghwa whirls around in surprise at the commotion, eyes wide and mouth opening a little as he takes in Hongjoong’s disheveled appearance.

“What’s going on?” Hongjoong asks, unease still stirring in his gut. “What’s wrong? _Ateez_ is uneasy.”

“Ah,” Seonghwa says, surprised, which is the usual reaction whenever Hongjoong reveals his ship really does communicate to him. “I slept a little later than intended, and the marks are almost entirely gone.”

Seonghwa pulls the slit apart in his tied-up fabric to show the side of his leg, and Hongjoong realises that he can barely see the red marks — almost completely fading into his skin.

“Limited time,” Hongjoong remembers Wooyoung’s warning, the corresponding symbols on Seonghwa’s leg. “Well, at least we know it does seem to be a full day.”

Seonghwa hums in agreement. “And I’d rather not be with my tail whilst on your deck. If you don’t mind, please turn around for a moment.”

Hongjoong’s still-sleepy brain takes a second to comply, still reeling from the conversation. He hears Seonghwa fiddling around, walking, and then —

The sound of a big splash has him turning around immediately, panic flaring up so quickly he can’t think logically.

Seonghwa’s no longer on the deck, the fabric that was around his waist now lying on top of the blankets he used, and Hongjoong quickly hurries to the side of the ship.

Seonghwa takes a second to reappear, Hongjoong needing to look back to see the disrupted water from his splash. Seonghwa emerges from the water grinning, taking a moment to watch the ship continue sailing before swimming to catch up.

The commotion has awoken a couple of the others, and Hongjoong turns to watch them as they appear on deck. Their faces show their panic at Seonghwa’s empty bed, but they quickly notice where Hongjoong is looking, and relief is soon to follow.

They wave good morning to each other, but Seonghwa soon dives back beneath the water, telling them it’s easier to swim down below.

Hongjoong looks at the folded pile of blankets and clothes, laughing with fondness. It’s not as neat as Seonghwa would usually do it, but his tidiness obviously hasn’t been forgotten by his subconscious at least.

And while Seonghwa’s no longer on the deck with them, this time they know it’s only temporary, and they face the day with excitement — the presence of the one they’ve found lingering on the ship with them.

* * *

It becomes something of a ritual.

Seonghwa doesn’t spend the full day with them, but they’ll haul him up onto the ship right before dinner. He’ll join them for the meal, usually join them for a song or few, helps with cleaning up, and then sleeps out on the main deck.

His bed has been accumulating pillows and blankets. Hongjoong’s noticed he’s taken particular favour of the one Hongjoong left there: the one that Seonghwa used to use on their bed.

Sometimes, Seonghwa’s back in the water before any of them wake up. Other times, he lingers around in the morning, watching the sun rise from the front of the ship, and talks with them for a bit before returning to the water.

They’re getting closer to Rainbowbridge, and Yeosang’s brought out the map of the island to look at after dinner. Usually they’d revise on plans during the day, not relying on flickering flames in lamps at night to get them by, but it had gone unspoken that Seonghwa should be on deck while they revise.

“Seonghwa needs to be on the ship well before we dock,” Hongjoong addresses, using another map to point out where he should board. “It’s a busy port, and ships will be close-by, so it’s better that you’re dressed and ready to go when we tie her up.”

He had suggested that Seonghwa stay behind again, but he had refused. He was curious about the land, about the town and other people, and Hongjoong had relented all too quickly.

“From there, we’ll only have a full day until you need to be back in the water,” Yeosang speaks up, focusing on Seonghwa. “We should dock in at night, so that you can sleep on the land or ship, whichever you prefer, and then you can spend the day on land. It’ll be easier to get you back out to water at night as well, less people and less lights to see you.”

They’ve learned that Seonghwa’s time on land usually has to equate to his time back in the water, so Seonghwa will only get the one full day on land before needing to stay in the seas for another.

“Finding _Oneus_ might take more than a day. Mingi, do you want to rotate shifts on the ship?” Hongjoong asks, and Mingi thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head.

“There’s a couple of things I want to fix on the ship, and honestly I can’t be bothered going onto land. Can someone just get me what I need?” Mingi replies, and Yunho’s quick to agree to it. “Anyway, even if I change my mind, enough of you come by to disrupt me that it shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Okay, we’ll find an inn first and sleep there, and then we’ll split up to try and find _Oneus_ ,” Hongjoong devises, tapping a finger to his chin as he thinks. “Jongho, you’re with me and Seonghwa, we’ll check out these areas...”

He circles the areas on the map with his finger, then gives Yeosang and Yunho their area, then San and Wooyoung.

They go over a couple more things, and at least it’s more of a plan than they usually have. Usually plans never go accordingly with them anyway, but Hongjoong’s hope this one will be simple enough.

Their biggest worry is going to be Seonghwa: making sure no one sees the markings on his legs, making sure no one catches a glimpse of him returning to the water, and getting him back there in time.

They have plenty of time though, and Hongjoong’s confident the plan will go well.

* * *

  
The plan does go well.

For the most part anyway _._

Seonghwa gets onto the ship easily enough. What’s not easy is guiding him into pants, and then into boots, which are each tiring challenges on their own.

At least the boots have already been worn in by him, so they shouldn’t bring any damage to his feet. It doesn’t stop Seonghwa from complaining about how weird they feel though.

Mingi provides him with an extra long coat, and Seonghwa is pulling an unhappy face at all the extra layers he’s currently wearing.

“It could be worse,” Yeosang tells him, “You could be wearing one of Captain’s hats.”

Seonghwa just gives him a blank, unimpressed look, and Yeosang laughs cheekily.

They dock the ship easily as well, and even though Seonghwa does struggle getting down from the ship, it doesn’t bring any questions. Injuries are all too common, and walking strangely is never really looked at twice.

Without really consciously doing it, they form ranks around Seonghwa. He stays close, even though it looks like he wants to go off once or twice when he’s distracted by something especially eye-catching.

They manage to find an inn easily enough, and this is where Hongjoong realises that despite their plans, this is something they haven’t thought of. Usually, when there’s seven of them, they have one room with three of them.

He doesn’t let himself dwell on it, just orders a fourth room. He doesn’t want Seonghwa to feel too uncomfortable with them to sleep.

“This one’s yours, we’ll have the rooms next to you.” Hongjoong hands him a key, passing the others around to the respective pairs. Seonghwa’s surprised, realising he’s on his own, and then ducks his head and mumbles an appreciative thanks to Hongjoong.

Hongjoong has to tell himself it’s no different than to Seonghwa sleeping in the sea, or on the main deck on his own. He shouldn’t be as worried as he currently is — but they sleep in pairs on land for a reason, and it just doesn’t feel safe leaving him on his own.

They show Seonghwa how to use the key, and make sure he’s locked the door properly before they all converge in Hongjoong and Jongho’s room.

“We can take turns at watch for every hour,” Yunho suggests. He’s thankful his crew know exactly why Seonghwa’s got him own room, but that they’re just as uneasy as he is about it.

They organise their shifts, each of them taking turns at sitting outside their doors. They’re all close to Seonghwa’s room, so they can each respond quickly to anything.

Thankfully, nothing goes wrong during the night, and those who look like they’re trouble stop the moment they see someone posted outside a door.

Meeting again in the morning, they confirm the areas they’re looking in, and then split off. Hongjoong’s guiding the two behind him, who are chatting quietly, with Jongho pointing out particularly interesting things for Seonghwa to look at.

Hongjoong glances back at them once, and spots their connected hands. Neither of them seem concerned with it, and Jongho’s swinging their arms a little as he explains something Seonghwa’s pointed out.

Fondness for the two of them constricts his chest, and he quickly turns his head back, looking at the path before them. They’ve already explored for a few hours, and have had very little to show for it, other than the hand holding and Seonghwa’s never-ending fascination with the world around him.

Hongjoong guides them into a tavern for a bit of a break, and Jongho quickly guides Seonghwa over to an empty table. It’s not too busy, thankfully, and Hongjoong takes one cursory glance over the other patrons —

“You’re kidding,” he says, spotting the six members of the crew they’ve been looking for. Honestly, he wasn’t entirely sure they’d even find them on the island, so it’s a surprise to find them when they didn’t even mean to. Xion’s eyes meet his, taking a moment to register who he is, before grinning.

“Hongjoong!” He cries, successfully getting the attention of his other two crew members. He waves them over, and Jongho shuffles Seonghwa over as well, murmuring the crew’s names to him.

They probably should’ve given Seonghwa a proper run-down on the other crew, but it’s too late for that now. Seonghwa’s placed awkwardly on their outer circle, Jongho pulling across chairs for them to sit with the other crew.

As they exchange greetings, Hongjoong keeps watch of Seonghwa as he’s jostled around with warm greetings. He’s bluffing for his life right now — he’s always been good at hiding his true emotions, and it seems even a lack of memory can’t stop him.

His confusion is masked with confidence, carefully avoiding the use of names. Ravn grabs Hongjoong’s attention soon enough, ordering drinks for them.

“What brings you here?” Ravn asks, smile bright but his eyes curious. “Last I heard, you were on a quest very far away from here.”

“Plans change,” Hongjoong shrugs. “And we’re actually here for you.”

“Now that I didn’t expect.” Ravn laughs, clinking his glass with Hongjoong’s and they take a swig. “Tell me, for what purpose?”

“Because you’re our best chance of knowing the location of which we seek,” Hongjoong answers, which gets the attention of the rest of the crew. Jongho had been doing a job at keeping their focus, distracting them from Seonghwa, but now they’re focused on Hongjoong.

Ravn looks very intrigued now, leaning forward, voice lowering as he speaks. “And what is it that you seek?”

“The cave of the Goddesses’ treasures,” Hongjoong admits, voice even quieter. Ravn’s surprise shows in the way his jaw slackens just a little, eyes widening, but he reigns it in quickly.

Ravn’s eyes scan over Hongjoong, then over Jongho, lingering on Seonghwa for a moment before coming back to look at Hongjoong. “What is it you intend to find?”

“An important treasure,” Hongjoong offers, but that’s all he plans on revealing. They’re allies with _Oneus_ , but Hongjoong has had people turn on him for less than the value of a mermaid.

Ravn leans back, taking another drink and thinking over the answer. “Now that is an interesting quest, especially for _Ateez_.”

“Do you know anything about it?” Hongjoong presses, because he’s sure that Ravn does, with the way he’s carefully looking at him, like he’s trying to figure out what to reveal.

“There was a time that we looked for it,” Ravn reveals, the others in his crew nodding at his words.

“And did you find it?”

Ravn hums, gesturing something to Seoho. Seoho leans down and rifles through a bag, placing a map down on the table in front of them all.

“The Goddesses’ treasure is not easy to find, nor available to everyone. You must lose something to find something, and that is only if She is willing to let you have it.” Ravn taps his finger against the table, and his eyes flicker to Seonghwa for just a moment.

“You found it,” Jongho concludes, and Ravn’s lips pull into a smile.

“Yes, we found what we had lost. But it is no easy journey,” Hwanwoong speaks up then. His voice is serious, a warning within his words.

“We do not expect it to be so,” Hongjoong replies to that, and Hwanwoong’s shoulders drop as he smoothes over the tension in them, a smile slightly pulling at his lips.

“Of course,” Ravn says. “The treasure you seek is worth the difficulty of any journey.”

Leedo leans forward, a quill at his fingers. Hongjoong has no idea where he got it from, but he’s more interested in the path that he’s drawing on the map.

Hongjoong faintly recognises some markings on the page, some places he’s visited before. But when Leedo’s hand stops, he circles around an empty section of the map.

“This here, this is where the treasure you seek is.”

Hongjoong studies it, trying to think of if they’ve passed through these waters before. It doesn’t look familiar — and any locations he’s been to before are rather far from it.

“So... Somewhere in the middle of the water?” Jongho asks, a frown pulling down his lips. Xion grins at him, nudging him and shaking his head.

Seoho folds up the map, passing it over to Hongjoong. “Keep it, I have another.”

Hongjoong is a little suspicious of being given something for free, particularly by a pirate, and turns to ask Ravn how much he wants for it.

Ravn just smiles at him, something a little more genuine in it this time. Something weary as well, like he knows all too well what Hongjoong’s about to face. “Your company for this meal is enough of a payment.”

Definitely still a little suspicious, but he relaxes more into the atmosphere as they order food and eat with the other crew. They exchange stories, Seonghwa listening intently until Keonhee starts to talk privately to him.

Seonghwa doesn’t look uncomfortable though, so Hongjoong leaves them be, trying to keep up with Hwanwoong’s very exciting tale of one of their latest adventures. Time passes quickly, meals and drinks enjoyed as they share company.

Hongjoong knows he should try and get back to the inn, to see if anyone’s back there already so they can regroup. Also, he does fear Hwanwoong might just rob them the second he gets bored, and conversation is starting to dwindle.

When Hongjoong goes to take his leave, Jongho already pulling Seonghwa up and saying their goodbyes, Ravn signals for him to wait in his seat.

“You two go ahead,” Hongjoong tells them, “Wait outside the door for me.”

Jongho’s eyebrows furrow in a moment of concern, but he seems to realise Hongjoong isn’t stressed about it. He nods, leading Seonghwa outside.

The others in the _Oneus_ crew pointedly start to focus on talking amongst themselves, the noise creating a barrier for Ravn and Hongjoong to speak more comfortably.

Ravn sighs, eyes flickering to the door where Jongho and Seonghwa just went through.

“I know what it’s like to lose someone, Hongjoong, and I’m sorry you and your crew had to experience it.” His tone is sincere, pain laced throughout it, like he’s remembering his grief all over again.

Hongjoong has already started to suspect, but it’s confirmed with Ravn’s words.

After all, Hongjoong knows the feeling well of seeing someone you thought you’d lost. Constantly needing to glance at them, just to check that they’re real.

He knows he wasn’t the only one looking at Seonghwa and Keonhee as they spoke between themselves.

“When you reach the treasure, he’ll know,” Ravn says pointedly, head nodding towards the door. “But be careful, word about the cave has been given to crews that are not so favourable, and mermaids are known to be searching for their lost treasure around there. They’ve been appearing a lot more in the market trade, and many worse places.”

The warning sends a chill through Hongjoong, but he thanks Ravn for it.

“And Hongjoong,” Ravn’s voice is louder now as Hongjoong goes to stand. “Back where we first met Mingi, there’s a cave somewhere close to there. It’s a good place to take a swim at night.”

Ravn’s smirking, and Hongjoong reflects the action. _Oneus_ have certainly proven themselves worthy allies, and Hongjoong will show them proper thanks for it one day.

Hongjoong gives him a cocky salute, and on the way out he catches Keonhee’s eyes.

Keonhee looks at him with a knowing smile, then dips his head in acknowledgment, and Hongjoong knows he’s being wished the best of luck.

* * *

There’s still a fair bit of the day left, so Hongjoong lets Seonghwa and Jongho drag him through their exploring. Jongho’s mostly just excited because Seonghwa is, constantly stopping to look inside of windows and at the products on display in stalls.

Ravn’s words are ringing heavily in Hongjoong’s head, his blessings and his warnings, and it’s distracting him. Mermaids are becoming less of a folktale it seems, and where they plan to go seems to be hunting grounds against them.

But they need to find the cave, so they’ll just need to be careful. Seonghwa will either have to stay below deck when they’re near those waters, or swim so far below he can’t be trapped by nets.

The sun is slowly starting to drop, and Hongjoong knows they should start to head back to get Seonghwa in the water. Ravn’s suggestion comes to mind, and he steps up next to the pair as they inspect an interesting fruit.

“Jongho, do you remember when Mingi met _Oneus_? Where that was on this island?”

Hongjoong’s not entirely sure where they are, or where they were, because he had been so stressed out by his crew member suddenly disappearing at the time. Jongho thinks back, taking a moment, but nods.

Jongho takes a couple of wrong turns to get there, but finally they make it. The sun has dropped a fair bit, but Hongjoong’s not too worried about their time limit — they're closer to the port now anyway, and they should make it back in time without issue.

“Alright, Ravn mentioned a place to swim around here,” he reveals, and they both shoot him an inquisitive look. Hongjoong just waves them off, telling them to try and look for it.

It’s a fair bit out of town, just an abandoned hut surrounded by a bunch of trees and shrubbery. It’s close to the beach, but they remain out of sight. Seonghwa lets out a triumphant ‘ _aha_!’ and they both quickly head over.

It’s hidden by a fair amount of shrubbery, and the push it aside to enter a flat, circular area in the grass. There’s a hole filled with water, barely enough to fit two people inside.

“This must be it.” While he says it though, he’s hesitant to approach it. Seonghwa crouches down next to it, fingers skimming the surface of the water.

“It connects to the sea,” Seonghwa breathes out, a bit of awe in his voice. “It’s created from the Goddess herself. It’s like a tunnel directly to the ocean — it’ll take me out past the port.”

“That’s safe then, right? It might be better than our plan to take you out with the rowboat.” Jongho’s poking at the water like that’ll somehow reveal the dangers of it.

Seonghwa hums, looking up at the sky. “It might be. I can head back out to sea, and meet up with you again tomorrow.”

Hongjoong’s nervous about it. If _Oneus_ knows about it, then others might too. There could be a trap at the other end of it, and they won’t know until Seonghwa doesn’t show up tomorrow.

“It’ll be okay,” Seonghwa reassures, hand now properly placed in the water. “I can tell. I’ll see you all tomorrow, and we can set sail for the Goddesses’ treasures.”

He already sounds determined, so sure about it, that Hongjoong knows he won’t be able to convince him. So he agrees to the plan, and Seonghwa starts to slip off his coat, his shirt, his boots.

Jongho and Hongjoong turn around while Seonghwa strips off his pants, and they hear it as he slowly slides into the water.

A splash against Hongjoong’s back has his jumping in surprise, mouth open to let out an indignant shout as he turns around to face Seonghwa, stopping when he sees Seonghwa’s face.

Seonghwa is grinning innocently at him, then turns a little to splash Jongho, who does shriek in surprise. He whirls around, and Seonghwa just gives them both a wave before his head drops under the water.

“That was ridiculously cheeky, especially for Seonghwa-hyung,” Jongho wonders aloud, and Hongjoong ruffles his hair.

Seonghwa certainly can be when he wants to be. In the last few months before they lost him, though, Hongjoong had noticed that Seonghwa was more serious, a lot stricter with himself. He was taking on many burdens, and it had stifled his natural playfulness. It's good to see it emerge again, even if it's not quite the same.

Hongjoong leans down to pick up the folded clothes, for which Jongho’s bag is thankfully large enough to stash most of the items in it, and Hongjoong swaps out his slightly wet coat for the one Seonghwa had been wearing.

“Come on, let’s head back to the inn and decide what to get Mingi for dinner.”

* * *

All of them, except Mingi, return to the inn. San and Wooyoung had also run into _Oneus_ after they had, and so they already know Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Jongho had met up with them.

Hongjoong goes over the map with them all, and tells them about Ravn’s warnings. Their eyes all harden at that, and Hongjoong can tell they’re all ready to protect Seonghwa by whatever means necessary.

Yunho and Yeosang head out after that to go eat dinner with Mingi on the ship, promising to update him on the plans.

All of them are livened up by the solid information they have for their journey. A map is better than they ever expected, and having a proper path makes it so much easier, so much closer to getting Seonghwa’s memories back.

Hongjoong feels the urge to just get onboard _Ateez_ right now, to start their journey as soon as possible, but he has to quell it. Seonghwa needs to rest, and he can’t rest on land for tonight, so they’d need to be anchored regardless.

His whole crew must be feeling like that though, because he wakes at sunrise to find all of them already up and about — even Yunho, and while Hongjoong feels like nothing could really surprise him anymore, this just about does it.

They start their walk back to the ship while the rest of the island seems to sleep on, but three others walking the streets ahead of them catch Hongjoong’s attention.

“—telling you, just as we were about to snoop about that ship, I saw it. A mermaid, I swear by it.”

Hongjoong’s heart stops, fear clenching the pits of his stomach. The whole crew has quietened down in favour of trying to overhear the conversation, all of them catching onto the words.

“You’re making shit up again,” one complains, shoving at his companion that had spoken.

“Nuh-uh, I swear it. A bright red tail, twice— no three times as long as your legs, swimming last night.”

“Fucking hell, what kind of shit were you drinking?”

“Nothing! Doesn’t matter anyway, first mate says he saw it this morning too. The stupid thing isn’t too far from the port, and they’re sending out boats and laying down nets for it.”

“First mate is just as much of a bullshitter as you! Were you both on the ale? Is that why I’m up at this God-forsaken time in the morning?”

“Shit,” Hongjoong says, and without any more prompting, the crew break into a run, sprinting to the port. They shove past the three talking, ignoring the offended shouts behind them.

There’s a couple of crews getting ready for their voyages, and it takes them a moment to figure out which one it is that’s seen Seonghwa. They’re preparing large nets, and Hongjoong picks up the pace to reach _Ateez._

Mingi’s watching them, and although it seems he’s not entirely sure about what’s going on, he’s quick to move to help the crew aboard the ship. He drops the ladder, helping to pull them up.

“What’s going on?” Hongjoong hears him ask Yeosang, who is pushing him over to the capstan, ready to get the anchor up.

“They’ve spotted Seonghwa,” is all Yeosang has to say, and Mingi figures it out pretty quickly from there.

San climbs quickly up to the crow’s nest, using a telescope to help him see further out.

“No sign of him!” He shouts down, just as the anchor starts to rise. “Three rowboats out there though, all with nets!”

They get _Ateez_ moving quickly, trying to get her out to the same depths as the rowboats. San’s keeping an eye out for Seonghwa, trying to look into the depths below, as are the others.  
  
“Starboard side!” San suddenly yells, and they rush to the side to try and see it.

What they see is one of the rowboats, one of the men on it struggling to pull up a net. The second man is doing his best to help, whatever it is in the net struggling enough to have the boat rocking.

They catch a glimpse of Seonghwa’s red tail in the water, thrashing around. The men are managing to pull up the net, and the water is violently splashing around with Seonghwa’s desperate attempts to untangle himself.

Seonghwa’s used up his limit for being on land, still needing a few hours before his legs can appear — and Hongjoong isn’t sure about how well a mermaid with a tail lasts without water.

“Get him out of that net, and keep him in water!” Hongjoong commands his crew, and San has moved down from the crow's nest and doesn’t hesitate to dive off the side of the ship. It’s thankfully deep enough that it’s safe to do so, and San quickly swims towards the boat.

Jongho follows him in, a stronger swimmer out of them all. Hongjoong doesn’t know if they’ll be able to keep Seonghwa safe in the water — there could be more nets, more traps that he can’t escape from, and he’s already trying to account for the worst.

 _Ateez_ is moving fast though, and none of the others can jump in and swim back in the time it’ll take for the fight to be over. They can’t drop anchor, as it’ll take too long to raise again, and Hongjoong has to think about how he’s going to get his crew back onboard.

“Drop a rowboat for them, they won’t be able to out-swim them, and Seonghwa won’t be able to swim with two people,” Hongjoong orders, trying to slow down the ship so that they don’t go too far.

They all hurry into the plan, dropping a rowboat that shouldn’t be far enough for them to struggle reaching. Hongjoong focuses on trying to turn the ship around, making sure that the rowboat will need to cover as little distance as possible.

San and Jongho have grabbed onto the net, adding enough weight that the two on the boat can’t quite pull it out of the water. Half of it is still submerged, and they can’t raise it anymore with the extra weight.

“Shoot them!” One of the men yells, but the other vehemently shakes his head.

“If you hit the mermaid, you’re gonna lose a fuckin’ lot of money! Don’t shoot, just try and get ‘em with your sword.” This prompts the first man that spoke into action, letting go of the rope with one hand and going for his sword with the other.

Seonghwa’s stopped thrashing so much with Jongho and San grabbing onto the net. San’s working at the net with his knife, very carefully avoiding Seonghwa with it, but it’s not cutting through fast enough to free him.

Jongho tries to grab onto their boat, going to disarm the one with the sword, but he’s not able to get close enough without being swung at. Hongjoong holds his breath as Jongho’s hands are nearly sliced at, thankfully throwing himself back into the water fast enough to avoid it.

San looks like he’s finally making progress on the net, the hole he’s trying to create starting to expand. Hongjoong can’t help from the ship — they’re too far to get an accurate shot with a pistol, and Hongjoong doesn’t want to put the three members in the way of harm.

“Fuckin’ stab ‘em!” The man yells, still trying to pull up the net. He isn’t armed, and if he lets go of the net then Seonghwa will drop further into the water, and it’ll give San the chance to reach the rope that’s holding the net. If San can get at the rope, the net will drop and slacken to free Seonghwa, and those on the boat will have lost their only means to capture him.

At the moment, though, San can’t get to the rope — any attempts towards it have meant his hands are nearly sliced through, so he’s had to work on the other side of the net, just trying to make a hole big enough for Seonghwa to slip through.

The man goes to take a wild stab at San, but Seonghwa starts to thrash again. It almost dislodges San from the net, but it does the job at keeping him away from the path of the sword.

“Just swing it!”

“If I swing it I’m gonna hit the bloody mermaid, and you told me not to hit it!”

San’s still trying to saw at the net, and Jongho swims around to pull apart the weakened threads. Seonghwa thrashes whenever the sword goes to swipe at them, at Hongjoong can see it’s frustrating the two men, who keep needing to make sure the boat doesn’t overbalance from it.

They’re running out of time, the other ship starting to head for them, and Hongjoong is trying to get _Ateez_ to turn around to head back for his crew members. She’s listening, but the wind isn’t on their side, and it’s slower to get back to them.

Finally, there’s a hole big enough that Seonghwa can get through. He slips through the bottom of it, Jongho helping him through, and that’s when the men go from frustrated to desperate.

The man lets go of the rope the moment Seonghwa gets free, and picks up his own sword. Jongho has already started to swim back with Seonghwa, spotting their rowboat and heading for it. The two men crouch down, closer to the water, trying to get at them.

One man desperately slices at the water, and Hongjoong can’t see if it’s made contact. A moment later, the other man stabs his down into the water, and Hongjoong can see that it’s a panicked attempt to spear Seonghwa’s bright red tail.

Jongho shoves into Seonghwa, pushing him out of the way of the sword aiming to spear him. This time, it’s certainly hit a target.

Jongho lets out a scream of pain, but it’s cut off with gurgling as he instinctively tries to cover his injury, and going below the water for a moment as a result.

San takes the chance, while the two men are leaning on one side, to unbalance it. He leans his entire weight onto the side they’re tipping towards, and they’re so focused on the other two that they don’t notice San until it’s too late.

They let go of their swords the moment they’re tipped, and Hongjoong knows their weapons will sink before the men can reach them. San’s quick to move, already getting a head start on them as he swims.

Seonghwa’s grabbed onto Jongho, placing him onto his back, having him keep hold by looping his arms around Seonghwa’s neck. San’s a strong swimmer, and Seonghwa’s slowed by the weight on his back, so they keep at an even pace together.

They’re outracing the two men, plus the other rowboats that have noticed the commotion, as well as the other ship. _Ateez_ is on her way back to them, and Hongjoong knows they have a small window to get the crew back on board.

They manage to reach the rowboat, and Seonghwa manages to get Jongho inside of it. Hongjoong sees the injury — a nasty gash on the side of Jongho's thigh, bleeding heavily and doesn’t look like it’s going to stop. Thankfully, San’s not far behind, and he quickly hauls himself into the boat picks up the oars to row them the distance to _Ateez_.

Seonghwa’s behind them, pushing the boat as fast as he can — and they’re certainly getting a distance on the men and the rowboats, but the other ship is catching fast.

The crew members on board have already dropped the ropes for the rowboat, and Hongjoong is at the wheel, _Ateez_ starting to turn and getting ready to pick up the passengers, and then to make their way out of the area as quickly as possible.

“They’re secured, Captain! Start turning!” He hears, and Hongjoong works quickly at the wheel to do just that. Those who aren’t pulling up the rowboat are working at the sails, trying to catch the wind to give them a bit of speed.

Jongho manages to get onto the deck, and Yunho’s quick to get him onto his back, keeping weight off his leg as he heads to the infirmary. San makes his way to Hongjoong after deliberating for a moment, trying to decide who to attend.

“Seonghwa’s next to us,” San relays, but there’s a frown on his lips. “One of the swords got him in the arm — it’s not too bad, but once we can, we should get him on the deck to get it looked at.”

Hongjoong grits his teeth, the worry for his crew members and the anger at the situation burning inside of him. They need to lose the ship as soon as possible — _Ateez_ is fast, but after turning around and getting those in the rowboat, the ship has gained a significant amount on them.

Mingi abandons his post at the sail to rush up to Hongjoong, eyes burning with an idea. “Captain, I’ve been working on an explosive, and I think it might work to get the ship off our asses.”

Hongjoong wants to ask a lot of questions, but they mostly just revolve around with _why. Why were you working explosives on this ship._

Mingi would never do anything to endanger the crew of course, but Hongjoong just might need to start implementing safety measures for Mingi’s experiments.

In this case, though, it’s probably worked out for the best. Hongjoong gives him the go-ahead, despite his inner voice telling him he might just regret it.

But Mingi, while sometimes a little bit rash and clueless, cares for nothing above the crew. He wouldn’t suggest it if he didn’t feel like the safety of the crew was guaranteed. Besides, it’s the best plan they have now.

Mingi quickly explains how the explosives work: they should go off the moment they hit the water, so if they throw them far back enough, it should be disruptive towards the other ship. It isn’t a significant explosive, nothing too destructive, but it’ll be enough to slow them down.

San goes to warn Seonghwa, telling him to start swimming ahead of them, making sure he’s well out of range of the explosives.

Jongho would usually be their best bet for throwing things as far as possible, but as he’s out of commission for the moment, Wooyoung offers to do it. Mingi hauls up a bucket of them, and Hongjoong’s inner voice is definitely getting louder now.

Still, he doesn’t stop them as they step onto the upper deck, headed towards the back of the ship to throw the explosives back to the other ship.

Hongjoong keeps his gaze ahead, acknowledging Mingi’s final warning to keep _Ateez_ steady. True to his word, the explosives aren’t that bad — Hongjoong barely has to adjust to the disrupted waters behind the ship.

Rather, it works to give them a bit of speed by pushing them forward, while the other ship is pushed back.

“Oops, that’s a direct hit on their hull,” he hears Wooyoung say, who doesn’t sound very sorry at all.

Hongjoong glances behind him to check the damage. It’s barely anything, especially not for a ship of its size, and if they turn back now they’ll definitely have enough time to repair it without further damage.

But the ship doesn’t let that deter their hunt for a mermaid, and they frustratingly continue to follow.

“Keep going for their hull!” Hongjoong yells, and the two let out affirmative grunts. As far as Hongjoong is concerned, if they’re so determined to capture Seonghwa and risk their lives for it, they can end up seeing him at the bottom of the ocean when they sink themselves.

 _Ateez_ is finally picking up her usual speed, and the explosives are also helping to give them some distance. It takes more explosives and more hull damage than Hongjoong would’ve guessed, but eventually the ship calls off their pursuit.

He’s paranoid that other ships will follow them, because rumours of treasures spread fast amongst pirates, so he keeps them moving for a while before finally stepping back from the wheel.

San comes up to the wheel. He looks grim, but they usually are whenever one of them gets hurt. Hongjoong will take grim over grief any day.

“His leg is okay,” San tells him, “Yunho’s patched it up, says he should avoid walking for a couple days, and then avoid putting his full weight on it for a while as well.”

“We still have that cane somewhere, right? From that one governor we looted?” Wooyoung asks, relief in his tone that Jongho’s okay. He’s been keeping watch for Hongjoong, making sure no one follows them, but it means he hasn’t gone down to check on Jongho himself.

“Yeah, I know Yeosang used it for his act on that one politician,” San replies, a small smile at his lips with the memory of Yeosang playing a poor, injured boy before whacking the politician in the shins with it (which was well deserved, in Hongjoong’s opinion, after he leered at two women together).

“Speaking of, I need him to take a look at that map in Jongho’s bag.” Hongjoong can step back from the wheel for a bit, _Ateez_ managing herself, but when they left the port he didn’t really go in any particular direction.

Wooyoung goes to get him, no doubt taking the chance to look in for Jongho. Mingi comes back up to join them on the deck, and San takes the moment to look over the ship and into the waters.

“Seonghwa’s arm looks like it’s still bleeding a bit,” San worries, which has Mingi whipping around in surprise.

“Seonghwa’s hurt?” It’s maybe a bit too loud, Mingi unable to control his surprise and worry.

“Slashed in the arm. It’s okay, he’s still swimming fine, but as soon as he can we should get him onto the deck to get it checked out,” San explains, and Mingi frowns, eyebrows pulling together.

Hongjoong’s used to the way Mingi looks when he’s plotting something, the way his eyes focus and his fingers start to move like he wants to build or break something. He gets like that now, and suddenly hurries off before Hongjoong can ask him about it.

“Maybe he’s got more explosives,” San offers, mostly as a joke.

“Hm,” is all Hongjoong says in reply, because he’s pretty sure that isn’t what Mingi’s up to. He doesn’t follow to get his answer, as Wooyoung returns with Yeosang beside him, the map in his hand.

Yeosang goes over it with them, and they do their best to work out their current heading. They finally work out that they need to adjust a fair bit, and Hongjoong stands back at the wheel to change their course.

Mingi comes up at one point to grab San and Wooyoung, dragging them back down onto the main deck and then further. Yeosang shares a confused look with him, but they leave it be for now — Mingi will show them the second he finishes anyway.

Hongjoong looks to the sky, noting there’s still a few more hours before Seonghwa can join them on deck. He starts to slow the ship down, making it easier for him to keep up with from the water.

Yeosang offers to stand behind the wheel, giving Hongjoong a chance to go down to the infirmary. He thanks Yeosang with a pat on the shoulder and heads down quickly, stepping into the infirmary.

Jongho greets him with an unimpressed look, obviously displeased about the way he’s currently being handled. His leg is propped up and bandaged, and Hongjoong winces at the signs of the tools Yunho used for stitching.

He runs a hand through Jongho’s hair. “Firstly, I know you don’t want to hear it, but I’ll thank you for saving Seonghwa anyway, and I’m sorry you got injured.”

“I’m not sorry about it,” Jongho shrugs, entirely honest. “We’ve already lost hyung before, and I’m not going to lose him again. So taking a hit was worth it.”

“You’re lucky it was your leg,” Yunho chides. “My skills aren’t as good as Seonghwa’s, and it could’ve been bad if it was any higher.”

Hongjoong immediately thinks of the worst, the same kind of injury Seonghwa received _that_ day, but Jongho looks down at his body and flushes bright red instead, hand instinctively covering his front. “Uh, honestly, if I got stabbed there, I’d rather you just leave me die.”

Yunho snorts, shaking his head, and Hongjoong can’t help but laugh, this time giving Jongho a little whack upside the head.

“Anyway, _secondly,”_ he directs his attention to Yunho for what he’s about to say next. “When Seonghwa comes up on deck, you’ll need to check out his arm.”

He doesn’t want to upset either of them, but unfortunately ends up doing so. Jongho immediately looks guilty, and Hongjoong’s fingers tighten in his hair a little to snap him out of it. “He’s fine, it’s just a small slash. But we can’t bring him up on the deck, meaning it’ll be untreated for a few hours except from the seawater, so it’s best it’s looked over. Jongho, you saved him from much, much worse.”

Yunho nods seriously, eyeing off his stitching tools. “Okay, the second he’s on board I want him sent here then.”

Jongho shuffles over just enough to invite space for Hongjoong on the cot to sit on, and he’s careful not to jostle Jongho's leg. Hongjoong tells him about the cane, to which Jongho immediately starts whining and complaining about it, and Yunho smacks him on the stomach.

“If you don’t use the cane, then you better get used to everyone carrying you around this damn ship,” he warns, but there’s a big grin on his face, and Jongho pokes his tongue out at him in retaliation.

Hongjoong just watches as they bicker back and forth, making sure Jongho doesn’t try and get up on his leg, and that Yunho isn’t too stressed.

He knows Yunho stepped up a lot when they lost Seonghwa — he had shadowed Seonghwa the most in terms of medical knowledge, but it had been a lot to ask to rely solely on Yunho to patch them up.

“Captain! Hyung! _Hyung_!” One of them’s shouting loudly from above deck, and Hongjoong easily recognises it as Wooyoung.

It’s not a panicked shout, but it still has Hongjoong excusing himself and hurrying up onto the main deck, where he’s greeted by quite a confusing sight.

“What... What the hell have you guys been up to?” He asks, joining their huddle around a strange contraption. Hongjoong knows straight away it’s definitely Mingi’s doing, but the others look just as proud of themselves for it.

“It’s a tank! Kind of,” Wooyoung proudly proclaims, and San laughs at Mingi’s offended look.

“It’s more like a bath actually. It’s a bath of seawater, made from that one strangely large storage chest we had in the stores,” San explains, gesturing to Mingi. “He rigged it up and filled it with seawater.”

“Seonghwa can’t come on the deck because it’s dry. So if we bring the water onto deck, Seonghwa can come up and get his arm looked at.” Mingi’s patting the side of his new contraption, pleased with himself.

Hongjoong will admit it’s certainly inventive, and it might just be a way around the whole getting-on-deck-with-a-tail issue, but he’s a little bit worried about Seonghwa’s reaction to it. And the Goddesses’ as well — She might mean for Seonghwa to stay directly in the ocean, not some small, contained version of it.

Still, it might be worth the risk. Hongjoong’s worried about his arm, as well as any more nets or traps that could lie in the ocean. And if they need Seonghwa to come onboard for any reason in the future, this might just be the way to do it.

“Drop anchor then, let’s talk to Seonghwa about it.”

* * *

Seonghwa agrees rather quickly, which surprises Hongjoong, until Seonghwa mentions the sharks that have taken an interest in him.

"It's the tail and the blood," Seonghwa explains, much to their horror. San goes incredibly pale. "Usually we get along, but as the only mermaid around that just smells like blood and fish, I think I’m starting to look tasty."

They’re quick to put the rowboat down after that, and with practiced movements, Seonghwa hauls himself into it.

Unlike other times though, Seonghwa’s tail does not disappear into legs as they pull him up. It feels strange not to be handing him some sort of clothing, to not help pull him onto the deck with only an arm clutching his.

Now, it takes a lot more effort to get him out of the boat: Seonghwa’s tail is ridiculously heavy, and there’s not a lot Seonghwa can do to help them about it. With help, Mingi manages to get an arm around his back and under his tail — usually where someone’s knees would be.

Wooyoung does his best to help carry the weight of Seonghwa’s tail, and they awkwardly shuffle over to the tub of water. Hongjoong’s carefully watching Seonghwa, noticing the way his breathing is getting faster and shorter, licking his lips as they dry up.

They get him into the tub before Hongjoong can really start to get worried about it. Seonghwa barely fits, having to curl up a little to get his entire tail in the tub, and submerging his head as soon as he can.

He does his best to keep his arm out of the water, but the blood is still running in rivets down his arm and spreading into the water.

Yeosang had gone down to get Yunho and then keep Jongho company, and so Yunho appears on deck with some medical supplies, and although he’d obviously been told the situation, he still looks comically surprised at the giant tub and mermaid inside of it.

Yunho crouches down next to it, tapping Seonghwa’s arm to get his attention and get his head above the water. When he emerges, he looks a lot better — his breathing is normal, and his lips look okay again.

Hongjoong sends a little prayer of thanks to the Goddess, glad the plan had worked.

“The water washed out a lot of it,” Yunho states, carefully examining it. “But I’ve been taught better than to assume it’ll wash the wound properly. I’m sorry, this might sting.”

Seonghwa flinches the moment the liquid Yunho’s holding touches his arm, and Hongjoong winces, all too familiar with the sensation. Yunho doesn’t let his arm move despite Seonghwa’s attempts to pull it away, and Wooyoung crouches down on his other side to grab Seonghwa’s other hand, linking their fingers so that Seonghwa has something to hold onto.

Seonghwa calms down a little, his squirming almost stopping completely. Yunho’s quick to then swipe at it with a clean cloth, but he pauses as he thinks over the next step.

“The biggest issue is that you should try and keep it dry.” Yunho looks worriedly at the tub, then out to the seas. “Stitching and bandaging would be best for a wound like this, but they should remain dry for at least two days.”

“Well, Seonghwa’s time as a mermaid is nearly done for today, right? So that’s at least a day dry on deck,” San says, and while Yunho nods, he still looks worried.

“The issue is the day after. If it gets infected, there’s not a lot I can do if he needs to go back in the water.”

Hongjoong doesn’t like the idea of confining Seonghwa to the tub for a full day, but Seonghwa agrees to staying in it so that the wound can be properly looked after.

“It’s not so bad,” Seonghwa says as Yunho starts to prep for the stitching. “I could be trapped in a net on another ship, so I’ll take this any day.”

It’s maybe a little too close of a reminder that they nearly lost him all over again, because it doesn’t get the reception Seonghwa was going for. He looks regretful for saying it, but Wooyoung distracts him by squeezing his hand.

“We’re glad you’re okay,” Wooyoung reassures, and Mingi gives a little laugh.

“Well, mostly. You did bleed all over my tunic,” Mingi complains, voice a high and whiny tone as he teases. Seonghwa looks regretful again, all up until Mingi continues to purposely make a show of it, showing he’s really not upset by it.

Seonghwa’s grip tightens in Wooyoung’s as Yunho starts to stitch, but he keeps his lips tight and jaw clenched, refusing to show the pain. His tail twitches once or twice, when it’s particularly sensitive, but otherwise keeps himself together rather well.

Yunho finishes up by bandaging it, and Seonghwa finally sighs with relief. His fingers slip out of Wooyoung’s, and he lets his head slip beneath the water again — careful to keep his newly bandaged arm out of the water.

“I’ll fill up the tub a bit more,” Mingi offers, then picks up a bucket to go do exactly that. Hongjoong goes to stand behind the wheel again, just to give his hands something to do, and watches the repetitive cycle of Mingi filling up the tub so that Seonghwa’s head can go under easier.

Over the course of the day, a lot of them go down to check on Jongho, and Wooyoung manages to find the cane for him to use. Yunho’s requiring that Jongho stays in the infirmary tonight, because he doesn’t want to jostle the delicate stitching.

San eventually goes to get Seonghwa’s usual clothing, and Seonghwa pulls himself up and out of the tub. He ends up kind of flopping on the deck, much to Mingi’s amusement, but it doesn’t take long for his legs to appear.

As soon as Seonghwa’s dressed, he follows Yunho down below deck. Seonghwa had already expressed concern for Jongho, as well as the desire to thank him, so Hongjoong knows exactly where he’s going.

The infirmary’s too small to accommodate all of them, so the rest of them eat dinner up on the deck. Seonghwa and Yunho eat with Jongho to keep him company, and while dinner certainly isn’t a lively affair, it doesn’t feel as heavy as Hongjoong feared it might be.

While two of them were injured, they’re all alive, and they know all too well the feeling of one of them not making it. They saved Seonghwa, got valuable information, and they’re headed on the right course to get there.

Yunho and Seonghwa appear on deck to help clean up, and Seonghwa also takes the chance to grab a pillow and blanket from his usual pile left on the deck. Surprisingly, he takes it down below deck with him, leaving all of them in shock.

“He offered to stay with Jongho tonight,” Yunho explains, a large smile on his face, and the atmosphere only improves.

And when Hongjoong goes down to check on them much later in the night, he sees Seonghwa curled up on the other cot and sleeping peacefully. Jongho’s awake, but hasn’t noticed Hongjoong yet, and is just smiling fondly at Seonghwa.

Hongjoong leaves before Jongho can see him, and takes up his spot behind the wheel. It’s been a while since he’s steered with the stars in the sky, and tonight seems like a good night to reconcile that, with his crew all sleeping and safe.

* * *

  
“I’m just saying, a big bath on deck is highly suspicious.”

When Hongjoong steps out onto the deck, having crashed in the earlier hours of the morning, it’s Wooyoung’s voice that greets him. He’s talking with Mingi and Yeosang, and haven’t seem to have noticed Hongjoong yet.

“I can take turns steering with Hongjoong at night to make sure we don’t cross paths with any ships,” Yeosang says, taking notice of Hongjoong at the end of his comment. They all notice and greet him, and he does the same.

“Seonghwa will only need the tub for today, and in emergencies otherwise,” Hongjoong steps in, and they nod in agreement. “We can take the water out and move it if we need to, we just need to avoid other ships for the next couple of days.”

“These waters are rather empty anyway,” Yeosang adds. “It’ll be a while before we hit the main waters and trading routes, so it shouldn’t be too hard to avoid others.”

“There’s definitely going to be word around that _Ateez_ is in possession of a mermaid now though.” Wooyoung’s not wrong — the other ship probably recognised them, and it won’t take long before word spreads from Rainbowbridge.

“No one except _Oneus_ knows our path,” Hongjoong replies, and Wooyoung bites at his lips in worry. “They’ll keep it secret, that much I can assure you.”

Hongjoong’s reminded of Wooyoung’s unfaltering faith in him, because Wooyoung doesn’t even question it, just accepts it with a nod and doesn’t bring it up again.

“We won’t be needing to dock on land anyway. But we will certainly need to be cautious of the waters around our destination, I’ve been warned it’s becoming known that it’s a spot for mermaids.”

“So all mermaids go there to find their lost treasure?” Mingi asks.

“If they know it’s lost.” Seonghwa’s voice replies, and they turn to see him coming up onto the deck. He’s got a shirt on that covers the bandage, has actual pants on, and Jongho has obviously been bored because there’s a braid in his hair.

Mingi’s about to start questioning him, but Seonghwa just shakes his head at him before he can start. “I’ll explain it when you all can hear it.”

While Seonghwa’s been clear to all of them that someone had helped him, that he had lost his memories, he usually shuts down any more questions about it. It’s certainly a change, and Hongjoong wonders how much he’ll need to thank Jongho for it.

Seonghwa spends most of the day down with Jongho, but brings him out for a midday meal by carrying him on his back. They fret a little, as Seonghwa’s never carried anyone before post-mermaid, and Jongho’s still technically on bed rest.

Still, none of them can send them back, and Hongjoong only gives them a very light scolding for it. It’s certainly not enough to wipe the smiles off anyone’s faces as they eat together anyway.

Seonghwa has to get back into the tub soon enough, and Jongho refuses anyone trying to get him back down below deck. He does get someone to move him next to the tub though, talking to Seonghwa when he pops his head up.

The others entertain themselves by cleaning up the ship, a (mostly) pleasant melody being sung by them all as they work. During dinner, they crowd around Seonghwa, passing him food that he can’t reach himself.

Hongjoong takes up the first shift behind the wheel, expecting his crew to start heading below deck for the night. They all seem to talk quietly to Seonghwa, who just does a lot of nodding and gives them small smiles.

They head below deck, only to return holding pillows and blankets. Hongjoong smiles with delight the second he figures it out, because they’re placing it down on the deck right near Seonghwa, planning to sleep there for the night.

Seonghwa doesn’t look uncertain about his decision to let them all stay out with him, but does look a little worried for them — constantly asking if they’re sure they’re comfortable, if they’d really want to stay out here with him.

They overwhelm him with reassurances, and he’s quick to stop asking because it seems it’s gotten through that the crew aren’t going anywhere.

When Hongjoong starts to feel himself wavering, the moon keeping him company for hours on end, he goes down to wake Yeosang to take over for a short while. Seonghwa stirs the moment Hongjoong starts to walk down the stairs, head peaking above the tub with alarm before calming when he realises who it is.

He watches quietly as Hongjoong shakes Yeosang awake, who's quick to move to the wheel and let Hongjoong settle into the spot he was previously sleeping in. Seonghwa gives him a soft smile, then raises his hand for a wave but gets startled by the water splashing with his movements.

Hongjoong barely holds in a laugh, all too aware of the crew sleeping so closely. Seonghwa’s smile turns bashful, and even from here Hongjoong can see how red his ears and cheeks are with embarrassment, and he quickly hides by ducking back under the water.

Hongjoong shares a similar smile with Yeosang, both of them all too fond, and then settles in to sleep.

* * *

  
In the morning, Hongjoong wakes first, and he quickly goes to relieve Yeosang of steering. Thankfully, he doesn’t look tired, but he doesn’t resist Hongjoong taking the wheel.

“We’re on course, but it might take a while before we hit familiar places,” Yeosang informs quietly, both of them turning to watch as San begins to stir. “Anyways, I’m going to take a nap.”

As the day goes on, Yunho checks on both injuries and confirms they’re doing okay, and Seonghwa tells them he’ll sleep on deck tonight and return to the ocean in the morning to get back on their usual schedule.

“Besides,” he says. “I miss the sea. And swimming. This tub is great, but I’m starting to feel a little cramped.”

Hongjoong certainly doesn’t blame him — he’s been twisted awkwardly to keep his tail below water. Hongjoong suddenly remembers Seonghwa’s inability to sit cross-legged, wondering if there's anything equivalent for mermaids.

Later, Seonghwa gathers them all around, leaning out of the tub as they all sit around him.

“About what I said to Mingi yesterday,” he starts with. His gaze isn’t meeting theirs, rather staring at the ground in front of them. “Not all mermaids know they’ve lost their treasure.”

He’s starting to play with his fingers, distracting himself from whatever nerves he’s feeling. “Some mermaids are born as such, but there’s cases of those that are transformed like me. Both the Goddess’s blessing and a sea witch are needed to work together do it though, so it’s rare.”

“The sea witch that helped me, Eden, explained a lot. Sometimes those that are drowned have a blessing from the Goddess — they still don’t know who, or why, but Eden thinks it might be when it’s an act of self-sacrifice.”

It’s a harsh reminder of how they lost Seonghwa, and all of them seem a little lost at the sudden memories of it. Of realising Seonghwa had sacrificed himself to save them all.

“But to save a life like that, to give them a second chance at life, something must be exchanged. Something that was so treasured by the human, a reason to live, that it’s enough to balance their new life. Eden explained that to me, it was my memories of something very particular. Just my previous reason to live.”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrow, realising that what they thought about Seonghwa’s memories weren’t quite true. They thought Seonghwa had lost everything except the basic need to survive, just wiped of his entire self completely, but it seems like Seonghwa could have just lost only one particular thing.

“Which explains why you know basic things,” San realises, then a small smile tugs at his lips. “Like what a cat actually sounds like.”

“Right,” Seonghwa agrees. “Eden was surprised though, said he’s never seen anyone lose so many memories like me. That whatever it was I lost, it was so intertwined with my entire self, that I had to lose basically everything so that I had no sense of it.”

Hongjoong suddenly knows what it is that Seonghwa’s lost.

One particular thing. One particular thing that Seonghwa used to tell him was the reason he lived and breathed, the reason he was who he was, with quiet and secret whispers when the nights were too loud for them to deal with.

He had lost his memories of the crew. Of _Ateez_.

And they had been so intertwined with his entire self that he had to lose everything for them.

“You had to lose us to live,” Yunho says it quietly, devastatingly, and the world is so, so quiet — like it’s listening to Seonghwa’s story as well, like it’s listening to all their hearts breaking once again.

“I... When mermaids find out they’ve lost something, they usually go to find it straight away. The Goddess will help us, because we’ve already paid the price to Her. But it’s usually not enough for mermaids to lose their _entire_ self.”

Hongjoong wants to argue that Seonghwa hasn’t lost himself — he still smiles and laughs the same, and there’s certainly many reminders that this is their Seonghwa in the things he says. But he holds his tongue, waiting for Seonghwa to continue.

“I was really scared,” Seonghwa admits in a whisper, eyes closing. “I was so scared, because I didn’t know what I had lost. If I didn’t know, I couldn’t mourn for it, and I was so scared it was just going to hurt. That if I found it, I might not ever be able to get it back, and it would be better never knowing what it was.”

Seonghwa swipes at his eyes, still not looking at any of them. “I was scared of who I was. No one else had seem to have lost so much, and I was scared that when I found it, it would be too consuming. That I’d change completely into someone I used to be, and not who I currently was.”

Wooyoung has a hand on the back of his neck, rubbing at the skin there comfortingly. Hongjoong reaches out and links their fingers together loosely, his words stuck in his throat.

Finally though, Seonghwa looks up at all of them, eyes watering but strong as he stares at them, looking at Hongjoong as he finally speaks again. “But when I saved you and you recognised me, I had been battling my sense of self for so long already. I wanted to know who I was, what it was that I had forgotten. Because if I knew someone like you, like all of you, then surely it couldn’t have been so bad.”

“You sacrificed yourself for us,” San says in a thick voice, and Hongjoong looks over to see that his entire crew have watery eyes. “You saved us that day, and we lost you. Then you lost us, so I say it’s about time we save you now.”

They all agree, and Seonghwa ducks his head under the overwhelming conviction. “Okay,” he manages to say, voice breaking in the middle of it. None of them hold out for too long, crumbling into hugging him, and then having one very whole awkward group-hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t go look for my memories,” Seonghwa tells them, barely above a whisper. He sounds like he’s truly ashamed, like it’s something he needs to atone for. “I’m sorry I was so scared to.”

“We do things as a crew, together,” Hongjoong replies, fingers now tightly holding his. “I’m glad that when you find your memories again, you won’t be alone.”

Seonghwa’s grip, which had been loose in his own, tightens.

“I was right, then. It really can’t be so bad when I have you all.”

* * *

  
They return to a more normal schedule, once Yunho gives the all clear for Seonghwa to dive into the sea. He makes sure the bandages are secure, even though they’ll deteriorate fast in the water, then promises to check up on the wound once Seonghwa returns to the deck at night.

Jongho’s been forcibly helped by everyone around, all of them taking his weight and helping him to wherever he wants to go. Once he gets his hands on the cane, though, it becomes a lot harder to handle him.

Mingi gets a solid whack to the shins with it after annoying Jongho just a little too much, and they all take the warning from it. Still, Wooyoung manages to bring Jongho to dinner on the main deck by carrying him on his back — Jongho obviously overdoing it by moving around on his leg on his own.

“Idiot,” Yunho berates, hands fretting as he checks that the stitches haven’t ripped. “God, you’re all lucky I’m not Seonghwa and that he’s not himself right now either, because you’d be getting his disappointed and worried look, and no one likes that look.”

“I don’t like your look,” Jongho retaliates childishly, sticking his tongue out. Yunho really does his best not to laugh, and it’s a valiant effort, but it’s pretty clear it’s a failure.

Hongjoong does have to step up and tell Jongho to just be careful, that he really shouldn’t overdo it. That they’re here to help each other, and it’d be nice if Jongho could lean on his hyungs _just this once so they don’t have to worry more, right?_

When Seonghwa comes back on deck, Yunho’s quick to turn his focus onto him and check over the arm. He seems satisfied with it, changing the bandages over so that it’s dry for the night.

Dinner is a livelier affair, even though all their gazes linger over the bandages on two of the crew members. Seonghwa loses the game for clean-up along with Wooyoung, but Yeosang is the quickest to take the dishes out of his hands and tell him to rest his arm.

Seonghwa keeps looking over at his pile for his bedding, and they all quieten as they notice it, awaiting whatever it is he wants to say about it.

“Before,” he finally goes to ask. "On the ship, where did I sleep?”

Hongjoong wants to answer it, knows he should, but worry stops him. If Seonghwa’s trying to approach going to sleep with all of them, he might feel disappointed to learn the truth. Might feel obligated to sleep in the same bed as Hongjoong, even if he’s uncomfortable with it.

“Sometimes with the crew,” San replies, gesturing to all of them. “Usually on nights the Captain was up late.”

Seonghwa nods at this, brows furrowing as he tries to think back, most likely to the tour they had given him. Trying to remember if there is an extra bed.

There isn’t. When Hongjoong didn’t come back to bed, and he wasn’t able to sleep easily, Seonghwa would drag a pillow and blanket to the crew.

Sometimes he’d be curled up on the floor. Most times, two paired up to share a bed, and gave Seonghwa the extra one. But a handful of times, Seonghwa had just crawled into the bed with someone else — usually the one he had nightmares of losing.

“But your actual bed is in the captain’s quarters.” Hongjoong surprises himself by saying it, but he figures this is his responsibility to sort through.

Seonghwa opens his mouth like he’s about to ask, like he’s going to say he doesn’t remember seeing another bed, like he doesn’t believe there really was ever a place for him to sleep.

Then it closes, realisation dawning on him.

“So I...” Seonghwa falters, swallowing like he’s drowning the words that want to come out. “I was with you?”

They never really had a label for it, never really had to acknowledge whatever it was between them. It was always just them, always just Hongjoong and Seonghwa, captain and first mate. Always just natural without needing any definition, any explanation for each other.

“We shared the quarters,” Hongjoong confirms, which he knows isn’t quite the answer Seonghwa is looking for.

Regardless, Seonghwa seems to understand, head dropping down as he works through it.

“Don’t feel pressured,” Hongjoong has to reassure, trying to make sure Seonghwa’s as comfortable as possible. “If you want an actual bed, I can sleep with the crew or out on the deck. I’ve done it enough times anyway. Or we can organise you to sleep with the crew, or in the infirmary, if you want.”

“I would not recommend the infirmary bed,” Jongho mutters darkly, shaking his head like he’s remembering a personal hell with the experience of it.

“I don’t want to displace you,” Seonghwa answers to Hongjoong. “And I... I’d like to sleep with the crew, if that’s okay?”

“Of course,” Hongjoong affirms with the chorus from the others. He can’t be upset that Seonghwa’s not choosing their bed — it’s a big step that Seonghwa’s comfortable enough now to move out from the main deck, away from the safety of the close water.

He tells himself he can’t let it hurt, because this is enough. Hongjoong was certain their bed would only remain his for the rest of his life, forever just half a room to a ghost, and so this is a much better alternative.

San and Wooyoung have already offered to share a bed so that Seonghwa can have his own. Wooyoung’s is also closest to the door, so it should be a little bit of relief for Seonghwa’s nerves.

They all help him carry his bedding down to the actual bed, and while Seonghwa certainly looks nervous, he looks a little bit excited too.

Hongjoong goes to leave them to it, ready to stand behind the wheel for the night, and Seonghwa catches his attention. Seonghwa is sitting at the edge of Wooyoung’s bed, fingers clenched in the blanket as he stares at Hongjoong.

“Sorry.” His voice is soft, quiet, something meant for only Hongjoong to hear. “It must be lonely.”

Hongjoong thinks the words over, then does his best to smile at Seonghwa. “It was, before we found you again. But now it’s okay, and you don’t need to apologise for it.”

Seonghwa looks uncertain about it, but just settles with an even softer voice to say “okay”. Hongjoong walks out, heart feeling like it’s been kind of repaired — but the cracks are sitting uncomfortably close to the surface.

* * *

They’re getting closer to their destination, to the ‘X’ Ravn had marked on the map.

There’s more ships around them now, and it’s getting harder for Seonghwa to dive into the ocean and then come back up onto the deck.

More than once Seonghwa’s just had to stay in the ocean to remain concealed, swimming far below the visible surface. He’s also had to use the “emergency bath”, as Mingi calls it, now having moved it below deck to keep it hidden.

They’ve painted over their flags, because they’re all a little bit worried that stories have spread about the _Ateez_ harbouring a mermaid. The ship is still recognisable to those that know it, but they’re hoping that none around these waters do.

“Ravn told me something that day, when you had left the tavern.”

Seonghwa tilts his head curiously, listening intently as Hongjoong speaks. He’s joined him up at the wheel in the earlier hours while all the others sleep below.

“He said you’d know when we reach the treasure.” Hongjoong turns to look at Seonghwa properly. He doesn’t look surprised, but it’s to be expected.

“Keonhee mentioned it.” Seonghwa confirms Hongjoong’s assumption. “I need to be in the water for the Goddess to guide me. I didn’t feel anything yesterday, so I think we have a bit further to go.”

“You need to be careful in the waters,” Hongjoong warns. “They’ve probably laid down nets and traps around it.”

Seonghwa shudders, the warning all too dire. “I know, I've already seen a couple. I’ll be careful.”

Hongjoong resists the urge to drape his arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders, to bump their heads together and say “you’ll be okay.” Instead, he just nods at Seonghwa in acknowledgment.

“Actually, Keonhee mentioned something else as well.” Seonghwa’s nervous, his voice quiet and he’s shifting on his feet anxiously. “That, um. You know when I saved you, I... uh, pressed my lips to yours?”

Hongjoong honestly can barely remember it — he was pretty out of it by the time Seonghwa had reached him, so convinced he was dead, and he really just hasn’t let himself think about just how close he was to it.

“Right,” Hongjoong replies, not letting any infliction coming into his tone it. Seonghwa’s obviously getting to a point, and Hongjoong doesn’t want to stop him despite the way his heart is racing just a little.

“Well, Keonhee warned me that he had to bring someone with him to find his treasure. It might be different for me, of course.” Seonghwa’s starting to rush out his words, hurried by panic and embarrassment. “I can only help one person underwater at a time, so if I need to bring someone...”

Hongjoong waits while Seonghwa pauses, trying to work himself up to saying the words he needs.

“Will you come with me?”

Hongjoong does his best to hide his shock. His fingers clench at the steering wheel, and that’s the only thing he lets slip through his composure.

Seonghwa’s focused on the horizon anyway, when Hongjoong turns to look at him. Hongjoong waits until Seonghwa meets his gaze, and this time he gives in the urge to touch Seonghwa.

Clasping a hand on his shoulder, Hongjoong replies. “Of course I will.”

Seonghwa sags a little with relief, ducking his head now that he’s got an answer. Hongjoong pats him on the shoulder before dropping his arm.

“Besides, I’m a pirate. I’d go anywhere for treasure.” Hongjoong laughs with his own joke, and Seonghwa is quick to follow. His eyebrows have pulled up, a proper laugh of his, something mixed with hysteria and relief.

“Well, it won’t be as valuable as gold and riches.” Seonghwa’s tone is teasing, but Hongjoong’s heart aches a little for Seonghwa.

Hongjoong’s hand briefly reaches out to touch Seonghwa’s, getting his sincere attention.

“No. It’s worth so much more than those things. You’re worth more than anything.”

Seonghwa just replies by lacing their fingers together, and they both look out to the horizon, getting closer and closer to their destination.

* * *

They have a few close calls, but they manage to get Seonghwa on the ship a few days later under the cover of the later night.

“It’s here,” Seonghwa breathily tells them, the second he’s on the deck and has pants on. “It’s so close, only a few hours out.”

Hongjoong’s heart starts to race at that, because this is it — this is finally it. What they’ve been looking for, what they’ve been working so hard to find.

They have the rough sketches of a plan. It’s going to be suspicious dropping anchor so close to the Goddesses’ cave, with nothing but open seas around them, so they will only drop anchor for the rest of the night. They’ll raise it again at sunrise and head to the closest island.

Seonghwa’s reassures them he’ll be able to navigate to it from the water, and that he’ll be able to sneak his way onto the ship at night when they’re docked. It might take a day to get there, but he promises he’ll get there no matter what.

They’re not sure if Hongjoong’s needed to go with Seonghwa yet, but the plan is for Seonghwa to get into the water and figure it out, then to come up and give them a signal depending — he has until sunrise to figure it out, which should be enough time.

It’ll need to be done at night, because Seonghwa’s simply too visible during the day, and it’s less suspicious for them to drop anchor.

They go over it again — it’s not much of a plan, because there’s too many variables that may change. But the basics are that Seonghwa will do his best to find the cave, and he’ll come back to them.

Dinner is a quiet affair, and this time they don’t spend it out on the deck, all too aware of the other ships in their sights.

Yeosang, Mingi and Yunho stress-eat, while the others barely touch their food. Everyone coaxes Seonghwa into eating more than a couple of bites, pushing him to eat to gain strength. They’re all worried, and doing their best to look after Seonghwa while he’s still in their reach.

Seonghwa warns them he’ll need to be in the water well before the sun rises again, so they do their best to get him to rest now. They push him down onto Wooyoung’s bed and pile up around him, making sure he doesn’t escape their clutches too soon.

When he says it’s time to go, they follow him with soft steps and heavy hearts. There’s so much that can go wrong: the other ships, traps, not being able to find the cave, being lost forever in the cave, not being able to reach _Ateez_ for help —

Seonghwa turns around to face them all, like he wants to say something, but his words seem to fail him.

San is the first to pull him into a hug, and Seonghwa folds into it easily.

“No matter what, no matter if you find the treasure or not, you come back to us.” San’s voice is hoarse as he speaks, and Seonghwa just grabs onto the back of San’s coat and digs his fingers in.

The rest of them take turns to hug Seonghwa, all telling him to be safe, to come back to them.

They need to let Seonghwa go again, and that’s hard. They need to let him go now to save him, to gain him back as he was.

And that had been exciting for them all — to find the treasure of Seonghwa’s memories, to get his memory back, to have their Seonghwa back.

But now they might just lose him all over again, and they’re scared that they’ll lose him completely this time. That maybe they’re too greedy, that maybe it’s better to at least just have this Seonghwa with them than none at all.

But this isn’t their call to make. It’s Seonghwa’s choice, once again, and they need to let him go once more.

Hongjoong doesn’t know if it’s any easier that they get to say goodbye this time.

It’s awkward when it’s Hongjoong’s turn, because they might possibly reunite in the next couple of hours if Seonghwa needs him to help him find his memories.

But the fact is Seonghwa might not need him, and then he’ll be out of their reach. That if the worst does happen, this will really be the last time he sees Seonghwa.

And he has faith in Seonghwa, trusts that he can do it — but the nets and the Goddess are the one he fears.

The thought alone makes it easier to hug Seonghwa, to press as close as he can for a moment, to tell himself that Seonghwa’s here right now. And he will be again, if Hongjoong lets himself believe it.

“You are worth more than anything,” Hongjoong tells him again, whispering it against his ear. “Your life, right now, is worth the most of all.”

Seonghwa nods against him, and they release each other slowly. Seonghwa takes a deep breath, gathering himself, then smiles at them as best as he can.

“I’ll do everything I can to come back. Now, turn around.”

None of them want to, but Seonghwa hurries them up, ears a bright red as they continue to stare at him.

“Stay safe, I’ll see you all again,” he tells them, and they turn back only to hear a small, delicate splash in the water, and the ridiculously neat pile of folded clothes where he once stood.

* * *

Hongjoong paces.

A lot.

Enough that even Mingi wrestles him down, telling him to stop wearing a hole in the deck, because it’ll just make Seonghwa mad when he gets back.

A couple hours later, Seonghwa peeks his head above water, Yeosang signaling the rest of them when he spots him.

Seonghwa gestures for Hongjoong to join him.

Hongjoong lets out a breath — not quite one of relief, because he’s vaguely terrified about voluntarily diving into the water and going under.

The rest of the crew look like a mix of relief and worry. Relief that Seonghwa won’t be alone, more assured that their captain will fix it all.

But there’s the possibility that neither of them will make it back as well, and Hongjoong is all too aware of it.

He needs to focus, to keep them all calm and working together. He shrugs off any top layers that will weigh him down too much, and relents to the quick group hug they give him.

“I’ll bring him back. We’ll come back together, so you guys just need to stick to the plan. We’ll meet you back here on _Ateez_ in no time.”

Yeosang and Yunho take charge, confidence boosted by Hongjoong’s promise. Hongjoong knows they’ll stick to the plan no matter what now, and is resolute to make it back to them.

Besides, he’s worked too damn hard for this ship, for his crew, and he’s not going to give them up. Not even to the Goddess.

Hongjoong doesn’t dive off his ship, mostly because he knows he’s definitely not as graceful as Seonghwa, and the resulting splash might just be alarming to other ships around.

Instead, he drops the ladder, carefully scaling down until he’s far enough that he can jump just a little to get in.

His head immediately goes under, and he paddles his way back up to the surface. It’s darker down near the sea, just the faint glowing of the lights from the ships reflecting off the water around him.

Seonghwa’s already in front of him, and it’s strange, being in the seas with him again. He’s reminded all too much of the first time he saw him as a mermaid, a much different person to the one before him now.

“Trust me?” Seonghwa asks, voice a whisper as they both do their best to stay afloat. The waves are thankfully rather kind, meaning it’s not too hard to do.

It’s an interesting question, all things considered.

Because, quite frankly, Hongjoong is a little terrified of what being in the water means. The last time he had gone under he was drowning, had almost breathed in his final breath that was just filled with water.

And to go under again, willingly — that’s terrifying. To trust a mermaid to give him their spell to let a human breathe underwater, trusting that he’ll be able to breathe in the water and be okay.

For Hongjoong, for very nearly almost drowned, it’s a lot. It’s a big question to ask.

But this is Seonghwa, even if it’s not the one he knew before.

This is Seonghwa, who had no reason to save Hongjoong. No reason to trust them, to put his faith in them, to help him find memories he wasn’t so sure he even wanted back.

No reason to trust them enough to sleep on the deck with them, to sleep with Jongho in the infirmary, to sleep with them all in the crew’s quarters.

But Seonghwa has trusted them, continues to trust them, even when he should have no reason to. He has no memories of them previously, nothing to really base this trust off.

But he does.

And Hongjoong needs to repay that trust, the same one he’s forever had in his first mate.

“Always,” he whispers back, and there’s a ghost of a smile on Seonghwa’s lips before he’s splaying his palms over Hongjoong’s cheeks, leaning in to kiss him.

Hongjoong was told he needs to reciprocate for it to work. Seonghwa had done this once before, but it had only given Hongjoong enough oxygen to save him, but not enough to let him breathe in water.

It’s not unfamiliar between the two of them, at least. But the kiss reminds Hongjoong all too much of the first one they had, when Seonghwa was unsure and nervous, who had yet to learn all the ways to make Hongjoong fall apart.

Seonghwa’s gently guiding him down, keeping their lips connected as they begin to sink. Hongjoong goes to take in a panicked breath of air, but Seonghwa doesn’t let him, instead pulling his entire self below the water.

It’s so much quieter, so much more calm than Hongjoong remembered.

Last time he was here, he was so terrified. He was fighting to survive, to live, and trying to claw his way to the surface.

That same panic arises, but Seonghwa soothes it.

His fingers slide through Hongjoong’s hair, and he lets himself focus on the action of it. He’s closed his eyes without realising, and opens them as best as he can to see Seonghwa.

It’s almost too dark to even see him. He’s so close as well, and Hongjoong can’t even see the way he starts to back away, but feels it when Seonghwa’s lips no longer seal his own.

Seonghwa’s hands are back on his cheeks, thumbs smoothing over his skin. Hongjoong’s holding his breath, the reaction a natural instinct, one he doesn’t want to fight.

He’s terrified.

He’s reminded all too well of wondering if drowning would be more painful than the burn that will surely start soon in his lungs, so desperate for oxygen.

Seonghwa pecks his lips once more, and Hongjoong can start to make out his features. He looks a little worried, eyebrows scrunched in concern.

Seonghwa goes to say something, but it’s impossible for Hongjoong to understand it. He just shakes his head, signaling his lack of communication, and Seonghwa seems to huff.

Then, he pokes Hongjoong’s cheek, surprising him enough that he lets some precious oxygen escape.

Seonghwa’s lips meet his once again for a second, pulling back, then repeating the action. He makes a show of purposely breathing in, and Hongjoong just can’t let go of the terror, of the instinct to make sure he doesn’t drown.

The surface is so close, he could easily push up and get there. Breathe in the cool night air, his certain survival.

Instead, he keeps himself still, and takes a breath in.

It doesn’t hurt.

It feels like breathing normally, just a little bit thicker. Like the air around him is denser, more thick, harder to take proper deep breaths in.

But still, he can breathe.

He exhales in disbelief. He trusts Seonghwa, but there’s only so much it’ll do in the face of the fear of survival, of pure natural instincts.

Seonghwa gives him the time he needs to collect himself, to try and deal with the fact he’s breathing underwater and not drowning. At some point his fingers trail down from Hongjoong’s cheeks and link their hands together.

When Hongjoong’s calmed down enough, Seonghwa tugs at his arms, encouraging him to move further down into the water. Hongjoong follows easily, moving where Seonghwa wants him to go.

Seonghwa lets go of one of their connected hands, then pulls him along. Hongjoong does his best to keep up, to kick with legs that aren’t all that used to swimming, to try and feel like he’s not just dead-weight Seonghwa’s just dragging along.

Eventually, Seonghwa just loops Hongjoong’s arms over his neck, getting him to hold on tightly as Seonghwa swims while carrying him on his back. They’re certainly moving faster, and Hongjoong catches himself holding his breath multiple times as they go deeper and deeper.

They swim for quite a while, enough that the motions of Seonghwa swimming start to become lulling, easing him into something like a light doze. He can feel the way Seonghwa’s chest moves, laughing, once he notices Hongjoong’s gone a little bit slack.

He doesn’t disturb him, just holds onto Hongjoong himself as he keeps swimming.

Hongjoong feels it, right before Seonghwa starts to slow down. There’s a change in the waters, something pulling them into its rhythm.

Seonghwa holds tightly onto Hongjoong, and lets himself be swept up in it.

It turns into something like a whirlpool, spinning them around and around. Seonghwa fights it for a moment, his powerful tail almost pulling them out of it, but it catches them in the last moment.

They continue to tumble, and Hongjoong just clings desperately to Seonghwa, refusing to be separated from him.

The water is moving too fast, Hongjoong having to close his eyes against the rushing currents, and he doesn’t know which way is even up anymore.

Thankfully, they eventually stop spinning. Hongjoong’s so dizzy that it still feels like he is, even when he feels that the water has calmed around him.

They’re both just being gently lulled into a single direction, like they’re caught in waves, being pulled back a little before being shot forward.

He doesn’t realise they’re apparently moving upwards towards the surface, not until they both break above the waves.

Hongjoong gasps in surprise, eyes opening quickly when he’s met with actual air. He doesn’t know what to think at first — were they caught in a trap? Hauled to the surface? Get caught in such a bad riptide they ended up being spat back out somewhere?

His eyes are open, but it takes a few seconds for him to really see what’s around him.

They’re in a circular pool of water, and around them is what looks like an enclosed cave. The largest one Hongjoong’s ever seen, and it looks like they’re only at the very front of it.

Behind them is simply a rocky surface of a wall, enclosing them in, but in front of them lays a long, long passage. A tunnel, it looks like, one large enough for four people to walk side by side in.

The cave is brightly lit due to luminescent crystals. Predominantly green and blue, they remind Hongjoong closely of the colours of the sea.

“Ah,” a voice says, and it’s not either of theirs. “The Goddess has taken a special interest in you two, hasn’t She?”

They both look around, trying to find the person speaking, but the only breaths echoing in the cave are their own.

Seonghwa’s eyes seem to catch on something, and Hongjoong is quick to follow. There’s a small trace of water from the pool moving upwards, like gravity has suddenly flipped around. It’s moving up, trickling through the rocks.

It’s stopping once it hits one of the crystal shards poking out of the wall, just slightly in front of them and to their left. The water is building up just above it, into a small pool of water that presses against the cave wall.

If Hongjoong focuses, squints just enough, he can see it.

There’s someone’s face in the water. Not anyone he recognises, there’s no distinguishable features, nothing that would indicate a gender to him.

It reminds Hongjoong of when Seonghwa’s tail begins to disappear, when it trickles into water. It’s almost like a mirage that just faintly resembles something, but nothing certain.

The crystal below it creates a luminescence, an upward reflecting glow on its features. It’s pretty up there with creepy things Hongjoong’s seen during his time as a pirate.

Hongjoong feels like it might be taken as an offence to ignore the voice, the face in the water, so he nods. “It would seem so.”

After all, the Goddess certainly doesn’t save everyone from drowning. Doesn’t help everyone when they’re trying to regain what they’ve lost, and probably doesn’t require that their captain tags along with them to get it.

There’s something like a faint laugh echoing throughout the walls of the cave, the crystals glowing brighter for just a second like they’re responding to it.

“Indeed. She granted you safe passage to find Her cave, after all, and not many are so lucky.”

Hongjoong thinks about all the ships they had been so close to, all of the ones he saw laying down traps. They hadn’t seen any be successful, but it’d only be a matter of time.

“You may step out,” the voice says, which sounds a lot more like a command. “She will let you onto land, mermaid.”

Untangling himself from Seonghwa, Hongjoong paddles to the edge of the pool and hauls himself up. The cave feels warm, like the sun is pouring into it and trying to shield him from any chill of the ocean.

Seonghwa is hesitant to follow, as they both know he hasn’t spent enough time in the water to shift. Still, Hongjoong’s going to listen to the strange water spirit, because he sincerely wants to avoid offending them.

Hongjoong crouches down and holds out his hand for Seonghwa to take, helping to pull him up onto the floor of the cave.

He realises that there’s nothing to cover Seonghwa up a moment too late, and he can feel just how red his cheeks are when he quickly turns his head away.

“Tch,” the spirit scolds, but it doesn’t sound particularly mean, just exasperated. “Humans are so funny about these things. Mermaid, look into the water.”

Hongjoong can’t help his curiousity, turning his head back to look as well, pointedly ignoring Seonghwa’s very bare skin. Seonghwa makes a noise of surprise as he reaches a hand into the water, pulling out a large red fabric.

The moment it lifts from the water, it isn’t wet. It’s completely dry the moment it touches the air, and Seonghwa stands to wrap it around his waist. As well as being the same colour, the fabric seems to shimmer just like Seonghwa’s tail does.

Seonghwa bows politely at the water spirit, and Hongjoong immediately follows.

“Thank you,” Seonghwa tells them, and the crystals shine brighter again for just a moment.

“Go forth, find what it is you seek.” With the spirit’s words, the crystals dim until they’re in darkness.

Seonghwa’s hand finds his, and they lace their fingers together. It’s dark and quiet, and only their breathing can be heard. Not even the pool of water makes a sound, and Hongjoong fears they’ll be left to stumble around in complete darkness and silence.

Fortunately, the crystals begin to glow again. When Hongjoong looks to where the spirit had been, it is no longer there, and the water that had led a path to the crystal has disappeared.

Their hands don’t separate, and they both take a moment to look around in the cave they now find themselves completely alone in.

Well, from what they can see at least. Hongjoong gets the feeling that the spirit and the Goddess are watching closely.

“Okay,” Hongjoong breathes out, now looking ahead of them. “They said go forth, so... Let’s go.”

They walk together, heading in deeper to the cave. Neither of them know what quite what they’re looking for, their eyes scanning over the cave walls as they search.

As Hongjoong looks at a crystal shard, he swears the colour of it shifts just a little. He’s used to how they’re glowing, how they changed with the spirit’s reactions, but this feels different.

He stops, looking intently at the crystal. He tugs at Seonghwa to follow as he walks over to the crystal, studying it closely.

It’s faint, but he can see it. Something swirling inside, like colourful smoke. It’s changing colours, not enough from the blue and green scheme around, but enough that Hongjoong can notice it.

“What?” Seonghwa asks, looking at the crystal in confusion.

“The smoke inside of it,” Hongjoong comments, looking closer. The longer he stares, the more he can distinguish shapes in the smoke. It’s starting to take the form of someone, but it’s certainly not someone he recognises.

“What smoke?” Seonghwa’s confusion snaps Hongjoong out of it, and he straightens up to look properly at Seonghwa.

“You can’t see it? The swirling inside of it?” He gestures to the crystal, and Seonghwa shakes his head.

“It’s just glowing and that’s about it,” Seonghwa replies, and Hongjoong can feel the way his face scrunches as he tries to think.

There’s a reason he’s down here. There’s a reason Seonghwa needs him while he’s down in the Goddess’ Cave, and this might just be why.

“Then I think these...” Hongjoong looks around, taking in the sight of all the crystals embedded into the walls. “I think the crystals are the treasures. These are what we’re looking for.”

Seonghwa looks around as well, humming as he considers it. “How do we know which one is mine, then?”

Hongjoong points at the crystal they’ve both been studying. “I think this is the memory of someone. Just one person. It’s not yours, I didn’t recognise them.”

“So you’re going to have to look at all of these crystals?” Seonghwa sounds concerned, and honestly, rightly so. Hongjoong counts a large amount just in his view alone, and the cave keeps going deeper.

“Let’s just keep walking for now, and if we reach the end with no indication to yours, then I’ll start looking at them all.” Hongjoong hopes they certainly get some kind of help, because looking at all of the crystals will be very time consuming and irritating.

Not to mention, Hongjoong feels a little bit strange at seeing someone’s most personal treasure on display, such a personal memory of someone he doesn’t even know. It really doesn’t sound appealing to do that over and over again.

They keep walking, and the cave is worryingly large. There’s some crystals Hongjoong won’t even be able to reach, and he can only sincerely hope Seonghwa’s isn’t one of them.

Then, Hongjoong swears he hears Wooyoung’s laugh. It’s faint, an echo in the cave, and for a moment he thinks the others have followed them.

He whips around, trying to find the source of it. Seonghwa seems confused again, which means he hasn’t heard it.

There’s no possible way the others have followed them. Hongjoong is a little concerned his mind just created it, something to fill the silence of the cave, but then he hears Mingi’s voice.

It’s coming from ahead of them. Hongjoong starts to walk faster, barely stopping himself from running. The only thing that does stop him is the faint voice in his head saying to take it carefully with Seonghwa, because they never actually really taught him how to run, and a dark cave isn’t the best place to start.

He listens carefully, tracing the voices. They’re louder now, and he can hear them all speaking over each other, and Seonghwa’s own voice is amongst it.

One of the crystals seems to be shining a little brighter than the others, and Hongjoong ends up in front of it. The voices are clear now, and he can hear what they’re saying now.

_“I’m Wooyoung, and this is Yeosang. Thanks for saving our asses.”_

_“If you’re going to pickpocket a man, at least learn his name first. I’m San, and I’ll be having that back.”_

_“Name’s Mingi, I can help fix your ship there.”_

_“Cool ship. I'm Jongho, mind if I tag along?”_

_“Thanks for sorting that out! I’m Yunho.”_

Hongjoong remembers all of these. Their first time meeting the rest of the crew, under very different circumstances for all of them. But every time, Hongjoong and Seonghwa had met them together.

Then, there’s one that takes Hongjoong by surprise.

_“You must be new around here. I’m Hongjoong, do you want to come see something exciting?”_

It had been well before Hongjoong had gotten _Ateez_ , but he can hear it — all the desire he had in his voice, the promise that exciting adventures lay ahead for those interested enough to listen.

And Seonghwa has always been good at listening for the right things with Hongjoong.

“This one,” he says, surprised to hear his voice break a little in the middle. It’s overwhelming, hearing all of the precious first memories with each of the crew. There’s more that Hongjoong can hear, more conversations that he remembers, and some that he doesn’t.

He blocks them out quickly, not wanting to hear a memory he was never a part of. Seonghwa’s hand tightens in his for a moment as he steps up to it, examining the crystal.

Seonghwa doesn’t ask him if he’s sure. Doesn’t ask how he knows that this is the right one.

Seonghwa’s hand lets go of his, and he reaches out to grasp the crystal.

Neither of them are prepared for the crystal to shatter under his touch, and Hongjoong flinches back as the small shards of it fall to the floor.

It falls to the ground like rain, glistening and glowing as the sound of it echoes throughout the cave.

Seonghwa’s hands have fallen as well, loosely at his sides. But he’s not looking down at the crystal’s remains scattered on the floor dangerously close to his feet. He’s looking at where the crystal had once been, the indent in the cave’s wall that had held it.

“Seonghwa?” He asks softly, because he can tell something isn’t quite right. Seonghwa’s known to blank out on occasions, lost in his own head as he stares at the horizon in front of him, but this is different.

He looks like he isn’t present at all. There’s something devoid about his gaze, and a chill settles over Hongjoong’s skin.

“Hwa?” He prompts again, nervous. He’s already on edge after the crystal shattered under Seonghwa’s touch, and this certainly isn’t helping.

Worry is building now, because what if the crystal wasn’t meant to shatter? If the crystal’s shattered, what does that mean for Seonghwa’s memories? That they’re gone? Scattered into a thousand pieces?

_“Hold onto him boy, before he’s lost in the currents.”_

The voice is the same as the spirit’s, and it’s a warning Hongjoong heeds. He lurches forward, grasping both of Seonghwa’s hands and not minding the crystal shards crunching under his feet.

“Come back to me, Seonghwa. You have to come back to us. You promised them, you promised me. And we’re not losing you again.”

Hongjoong’s grasp is tight, and he swings their hands a little, trying to get Seonghwa's attention. “You _promised_.”

Without thinking, he leans forward. Seonghwa’s got just a little bit of height on him to make it harder, but Hongjoong manages to press their foreheads together.

Seonghwa doesn’t move back like he’s being pushed with the force of it, which is good, because it means he’s definitely still awake. But he doesn’t lean into it either.

Suddenly, Hongjoong’s vision goes dark. He knows he hasn’t closed his eyes, but it feels like something of a dream now.

Voices ring in his ear, and visions begin to flash before his eyes. Ones he’s seen before, lived through, but not from this perspective. They’re overwhelming, like waves battering against him, trying to push him under.

He tries to focus, to plant his feet into the sand beneath him, but he can’t. The waves are continuing to push him down, again and again, until he reminds himself that he needs to keep Seonghwa afloat. He _needs_ to get them through this.

Instead of fighting it, he dives into the next wave, and there is calm.

 _“Not until I make it up to your first officer here.”_ The voice is one that haunts Hongjoong, but this is a whole new level — like it’s being whispered directly into his ear, like the other captain is breathing on his skin.

Then there’s blinding pain in his stomach. He knows it’s not his, faintly recognising it’s a phantom feeling of it, that this is not his injury. This is Seonghwa’s.

_“We aren’t leaving you!”_

He can feel Seonghwa's desperation, the adrenaline running through his veins. The only thought to protect the crew, to protect his family, to keep them safe no matter what. No matter the cost.

There’s a familiar pull in his soul. _Ateez_ , but it’s not for him. This is _Ateez_ , reaching out to Seonghwa, responding to his desperation, his last final wish to keep them safe.

_“No! No! Seonghwa, don’t!”_

Water is pressing against him, pressing against his chest, and there’s still that awful pain in his stomach. He tries, Goddess he tries, but he can’t swim up. He can’t reach the surface once he’s sunken beneath it.

_As long as they’re safe. Goddess, please, keep them safe._

This is another feeling Hongjoong is familiar with. Drowning. Going to breathe in — except this time, the water fills up his lungs. And it’s just as painful, just as awful as he imagined, and he can only pray for it to end soon.

It’s blank. It’s all blank, and he wakes up, and he doesn’t know where he is, who he is, but there’s someone there —

_“The Goddess saved you. I am known as Eden, and I will help you as best as I can.”_

* * *

  
Hongjoong awakens with a start, bleary eyes unable to focus on his surroundings as he blinks them open.

He remembers waves battering against him, trying to drown him, pushing him down into the seas.

But that — that’s not quite right.

It comes back to him slowly. Unable to see anyway, he closes his eyes as he tries to focus on his memories.

The cave he was in, the spirit, the crystals.

But why was he there?

He was looking for a treasure, something important. There’s flashes of the map they were following, talking over the plans with his crew.

And the spirit’s voice in his head, echoing around him, whispering words of safety and comfort.

_Congratulations on finding the treasure. The Goddess will guide you home. Rest now._

Home, home — _Ateez_. He must be on _Ateez_ , in his quarters. Why did the Goddess guide him home?

There’s something missing. _Someone’s_ missing.

There was someone in the cave with him. The crystals weren’t for him, they weren’t his treasure to find. The Goddess didn’t only just take him home.

His head hurts, and he can feel just how scrunched his eyes are, trying and trying to push through the barrier in his memory. Someone was there, and there’s a glimpse of shimmering red, of a crystal shattering in their hands, and —

 _Seonghwa_.

_Seonghwa, where’s Seonghwa?_

They had been holding hands, trembling, and Seonghwa had collapsed against him. Not doing any better, Hongjoong had fallen back with the weight.

But instead of hitting the hard ground of the cave, Hongjoong had been caught by a wave of water. One that wrapped around them, keeping them close, encouraging them to rest.

Hongjoong tries to get the feeling back in his hands, tries to tell if he’s holding onto something. One hand isn’t, the familiar feeling of his sheets beneath him scrunching with his grip.

But the other — the other squeezes against something warm, against someone else’s hand.

His eyes feel heavy, but he forces them open and to focus. He’s on his back, and the only thing he can see is the familiar ceiling of his quarters.

He’s back in his quarters, and he doesn’t know how he got here. That doesn’t matter though, not yet, not until he sees what he’s holding onto.

His limbs feel so heavy, but he squeezes the hand again, confirming he’s definitely holding onto someone. And it’s familiar, it feels so much like Seonghwa’s hands, but he doesn’t want to hope just yet.

Turning his head to the side, he can finally see who’s beside him on the bed, who he’s holding onto.

He lets out a heavy sigh of relief, overwhelmed at seeing Seongha sleeping peacefully beside him.

It’s been so long since he’s woken up with Seonghwa next to him. So long since the other side of the bed has been slept in by the person it belongs to.

Tears build in his eyes, because they’re _home_. They’re finally back home, and Seonghwa’s chest is steadily moving up and down with sleep. He looks peaceful, and just as breathtaking as ever.

“Easy Captain,” a sleepy voice says from beside him, and he knows it’s Yunho. He doesn’t want to take his eyes off Seonghwa, not just yet, not until this starts feeling real.

Which might take a very long time.

Yunho groans as he stretches, and Hongjoong hears him get up and walk around to the other side of the bed. He sits near Seonghwa’s knees, carefully making sure he doesn’t jostle him. Hongjoong is barely able to blink his tears away before Yunho meets his eyes.

He looks tired, but relaxed, which puts Hongjoong at ease.

“You’re both doing okay, just very exhausted. Seonghwa particularly.” Yunho pats Seonghwa’s thighs just to prove his point, Seonghwa not even stirring like he usually would.

Hongjoong’s throat feels dry, and he can’t quite get his words in order to ask questions. Yunho smiles to reassure him, and Hongjoong knows he'll answer.

“You’ve both been asleep for about a day. I just managed to convince the others to go to sleep in their own quarters, but they might kill me for it when they find out you woke up and they weren’t here.”

Yunho quickly looks at the door of the cabin like he’s expecting the others to come bursting through. He gives it a moment, then turns his attention back to explaining. “A few hours after we docked, you two washed up on the shore. Thankfully, no one else was around to see it, and we managed to get you back onto _Ateez_ without an issue. Well, there was the issue of the fact you two wouldn’t let go of each other, which made moving you two a little hard.”

“About a day?” Hongjoong asks for confirmation, voice scratchy, and Yunho nods. Hongjoong notices something — or rather, the lack of something. There are no red symbols decorating Seonghwa's legs. But he has to be sure, has to ask. “And he’s kept his legs?”

“He washed up just as human as you. I’ve been watching for any signs of ailment, but he seems to be okay.”

“And he hasn’t woken up yet?”

“Not yet. But I’m certain he will soon enough.”

Seonghwa’s still breathing steadily, and maybe Hongjoong does feel a little bit creepy for intensely staring at him from so close, but it’s hard to really accept that Seonghwa’s right next to him. _Safe_.

Yunho hasn’t let go of Seonghwa’s thigh, and his fingers start to drum anxiously against him. He’s still got the red fabric on from the cave, and Hongjoong considers that Seonghwa’s tail might not have come back just yet.

“Did you find them? Seonghwa’s memories?” Yunho asks, and Hongjoong can tell he fears the answer.

“I think so. We found the cave, and I remember being told ‘congratulations on finding the treasure’.”

“Who told you that?”

Hongjoong shivers a little at the reminder of the spirit, and his grip tightens in Seonghwa’s. “I’ll tell you all together.”

“So I guess we won’t find out if he remembers until he wakes.” Yunho pouts at that, and Hongjoong shares his worry. He wants to trust the spirit, wants to believe they’re made it, that they’ve got Seonghwa’s memory back —

But there’s an anxious voice in the back of his head, asking if he’s sure they’ve done it. If they’ve gotten Seonghwa’s memories back, or just left them shattered on that cave floor, irretrievable.

And Hongjoong knows it’s better to have Seonghwa here, even with a clean-slate of a memory again, than not at all. But there’s hope in his chest now, building and building, because surely they’ve done enough. Surely they’ve suffered enough already.

“Do you want me to wake them? They’re going to be mad the later I wait honestly, but I’m sure they’ll understand if you need a bit of time to rest.” Yunho gestures loosely to the door, indicating the rest of the crew.

“A day’s rest is plenty. Just tell them to be aware Seonghwa’s still resting,” he replies, and Yunho gives him a relieved smile.

Yunho goes to get up from the bed, but pauses before he heads to the door. Instead, he walks back over to Hongjoong’s side and does his best to hug him, even though Hongjoong’s in a very awkward position.

He does his best to hug back, trying to pat whatever skin he can reach in consolidation.

“We’re really glad you’re okay,” Yunho tells him, voice quiet so that the breaking isn’t as noticeable. “And... and thank you, for bringing him back.”

Hongjoong’s damn eyes are watering again.

Yunho laughs a little shakily, then goes to get up and walks out to wake the rest of the crew.

Hongjoong does the best he can to brace himself for the emotions he’s going to be confronted by.

It’s been a long journey, a long adventure, and they don’t yet know if Seonghwa’s truly back with them. But he knows that the others will feel just as overwhelmed to see him awake, and hopefully they’ll all soon see Seonghwa awake as well.

His damn eyes. But at least these tears are certainly better than the ones they all shed when they first lost Seonghwa, so he can’t mind all too much.

He can hear them rushing around on the deck, suddenly stopping outside his quarters. There’s a hushed conversation, Yunho’s voice carrying a warning, and then they slowly open up the door.

Hongjoong lifts his head to watch them file into the room. They’re doing their best to contain their emotions at seeing Hongjoong in the bed and awake, relieved smiles and warm eyes meeting his gaze.

They spread themselves out on the bed, careful not to disturb Seonghwa. Mingi basically flops on top of Hongjoong, and San takes hold of his other hand. Hongjoong looks over to see that Wooyoung has taken Seonghwa’s free hand, and the rest of the crew are touching either of them in some way, trying to stay as close as possible.

They’re quiet, which is a strange thing for the crew of _Ateez_. Like they’re just trying to soak in that they’re all in the same room, that everyone seems to be okay for now. It’s a good kind of quiet. A peaceful one.

“We’re sailing away from the island, away from the cave,” Yeosang tells him quietly from where he’s crouched at the side of the bed. “We just wanted to get as far away as we could.”

Hongjoong’s glad for it, sinking back into the bed, knowing his crew are managing themselves well. Mingi slides off him, half hanging off the bed now, but at least Hongjoong can breathe properly again.

They all lull into a kind of doze. The sun hasn’t risen just yet, and they all seem exhausted. Hongjoong suspects that none of them properly slept the night Hongjoong went with Seonghwa, as well as all the hours they were gone.

Hongjoong, with nowhere else to go as he isn’t willing to let go of Seonghwa and nothing else to do, also falls into a light sleep.

He jolts awake the moment he feels something squeeze against his hand. It’s the one holding Seonghwa’s, and he forces his eyes to focus, to turn his head and look at Seonghwa.

Seonghwa still looks fast asleep, peaceful and resting. But there’s another squeeze of Hongjoong’s hand, and Hongjoong holds his breath and waits for Seonghwa to show any more signs of waking.

Seonghwa’s breath suddenly catches, interrupting the steady rhythm it had previously been in. His eyes scrunch, and his mouth opens like he’s trying to say something.

It’s the same look as when he has a nightmare, and Hongjoong squeezes his hand to try and reassure him that he’s okay, that whatever he’s thinking now can’t hurt him. That he can wake up and know they’re all here with him.

He’s a little worried that Seonghwa might wake up overwhelmed. If he doesn’t remember anything again, then he’s going to be terrified and feel trapped. If only remembers from the point of being a mermaid, then he’ll remember them, but it’ll still be overwhelming.

But if he does remember, if he remembers everything — then. Then Seonghwa’s first concern is always for the crew, and if they’re not there with him, he might just end up even more worried and confused.

Hongjoong doesn’t think he can kick out his crew, even if he wanted to try. But Hongjoong asks to give Seonghwa a bit of space, just in case they’re overcrowding him.

They’re reluctant to move, but they do their best to give Seonghwa some room, understanding that it’s preparation for the worst. Just in case his memories haven’t been returned.

_Just in case._

Hongjoong goes to slip his hand out of Seonghwa’s, just in case he feels trapped down by it. Seonghwa’s not one to wake violently from a bad dream, but Hongjoong has to remember that this isn’t just a bad dream they’re dealing with.

Seonghwa’s grip tightens.

He immediately stops his hand from trying to slip away. It’s instinct to try and be careful around someone resting, and he doesn’t want to be the cause of Seonghwa waking up.

Wooyoung lifts himself up on the bed slightly, catching Hongjoong’s eye and pointedly looking down at Seonhgwa’s hands. It seems Seonghwa isn’t letting go of Wooyoung either.

Hongjoong does his best to signal for Wooyoung to lay back down and be still. Seonghwa’s awareness is coming back slowly, but it doesn’t seem like he’s actually awake, and he might not be doing the motions consciously.

Jongho nervously starts to hum a soothing tune, one all of them are familiar with. It settles them on the rough nights, a soft lullaby they usually fall asleep to.

Seonghwa, however, starts to stir. His grip squeezes in Hongjoong’s, and they all watch carefully as Seonghwa’s chest begins to rise more frequently, properly leaving behind his steady sleeping rhythm.

Seonghwa’s eyes scrunch, and that’s the only warning Hongjoong gets to brace himself before Seonghwa’s letting out a gasp, eyes opening wide.

_Please be okay. Please remember us. We’ve lost so much, and I can’t lose you again._

Seonghwa stares at the ceiling for a moment, trying to calm himself down from his abrupt awakening. Hongjoong wants to say something, to break the moment, to know if their hope is worth it.

But they’re all frozen, not one of them daring to move or make a sound. Like they’re in just as much of a trance as Seonghwa, who still doesn’t look like he’s properly with them yet.

Without realising he’s doing it, Hongjoong’s hand tightens around Seonghwa’s. It seems to surprise Seonghwa, whose own grip has slackened.

Suddenly, Seonghwa’s head turns to look down at their joined hands, and Hongjoong notices his breath catch. Hurriedly, Seonghwa follows the arm up, up Hongjoong’s body, until his eyes meet Hongjoong’s.

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong asks, because he’s not looking at Hongjoong like he doesn’t know him. Like he’s confused about why he’s holding hands with some stranger, or even surprised that he’s still holding hands after the cave.

He knows Hongjoong.

But how much, how much does he know?

Seonghwa suddenly breaks out into a devastating smile, and then there’s a small laugh bordering on disbelief and awe. His eyebrows scrunch up, his eyes are watering, and this time it’s Hongjoong’s breath that catches.

“Captain.” Seonghwa whispers the title quietly, his voice breaking as he does so.

Seonghwa never called Hongjoong ‘Captain’ as a mermaid. The last time Hongjoong had heard the word from him had been the day they lost him.

_Captain._

He remembers.

Hongjoong moves slightly quicker than the rest of them, scrambling to sit up so that he can properly fold himself over Seonghwa.

Hongjoong wraps himself around Seonghwa, their legs tangling together as he lays on top of him. He buries his head into Seonghwa’s neck, feeling the steady heartbeat and breathing of the one beneath him.

Seonghwa untangles their fingers so that he can stroke his fingers through the back of Hongjoong’s hair, gently shushing him as Hongjoong can only whisper “we did it, you remember us” over and over again.

The rest of them move, all of them now properly crowding onto the bed.

There’s a few cries of " _hyung!_ ", and it reminds Hongjoong all too much of the day they had found Seonghwa, only to find out that he didn’t remember them at all.

But he certainly remembers the term now, a wounded noise escaping as he hears them. Hongjoong sits up, willing to give the others a chance now to properly greet Seonghwa.

Seonghwa ends up on the bottom of a big cuddle pile, all of them stacking on top of him to the point Hongjoong’s concerned about an injury happening. Thankfully, they all seem fine after they’ve unbalanced and mostly fallen off Seonghwa and the bed.

Hongjoong gets pulled into the pile, all of them surrounding Seonghwa. His eyes are studying over all of them, fingers tracing over their faces, through their hair, assuring himself that they’re with him.

“I’m sorry,” he tells them, over and over again.

“It’s not your fault, hyung.” Yeosang is firm, unwavering in his statement.

“You came back to us,” Wooyoung adds, scrambling to get back onto the bed as he says it, because Mingi accidentally kicked him off.

“But I didn’t remember you,” Seonghwa whispers, and they all seem to move closer to him, trying to build a barrier between him and the rest of the world. “I must have made you guys hurt so much.”

“Hyung. We thought you died.” Jongho reaches out to hold Seonghwa’s hand, which is currently resting on his cheek. “We thought you _died_ , and nothing will hurt as much as that.”

Seonghwa takes a shaky breath in. It seems to sink in, that Seonghwa had been lost in front of them, that they thought he was gone forever — and it’s hard to imagine that kind of pain if you haven’t been the one to live it.

But Seonghwa’s always too good at knowing how they feel, and it’s clear how his heart breaks for them. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats, because it seems like it’s the only thing he can think of.

“But you came back,” San affirms. “You came back, and even though you didn’t remember us, it was better than the alternative.”

“And even though you didn’t remember us, you trusted us. You saved me. You didn’t know me, but you still saved me.” Hongjoong steps in now, and Seonghwa’s gaze immediately snaps to his.

“So please don’t apologise,” Yunho says, voice deceivingly bright in the face of a room full of tears. “Because otherwise we’ll start apologising, for things like leaving you behind, and for not being able to save you—”

“And for the mess on the ship,” Mingi cuts in, and Wooyoung laughs as he hits him on the arm. It’s a good distraction though, dodging the more upsetting apologies that’s hanging over their heads.

“No, we actually should apologise for that,” Yunho winces. “I mean, we really did try, but please don’t freak out at the state of the ship.”

“I’ve literally never made a mess in my entire life,” Mingi mutters, and Wooyoung hits him again.

“I’ve seen the mess, remember?” Seonghwa sighs. “I just had no memory, and figured it wasn’t my place as the stowaway mermaid. But now that I do remember...”

He playfully glares at them all, and they all look sheepish at the reprimand.

“I swear we cleaned up while you were sleeping,” Yunho whispers into Hongjoong’s ear, and Hongjoong grins.

“Alright, then let’s try and keep the ship cleaner from now on so that Seonghwa won’t try and forget us again.” They all listen to Hongjoong’s scolding at least, looking like cleaning isn’t the bane of their existence now.

San is reaching up to give Seonghwa a quick kiss on the cheek, and Seonghwa just smiles with the action. “Right, speaking of you being a mermaid...”

Seonghwa hums, shifting a little to try and sit up and face them all properly. They let him, and he rests up against the pillows, able to see them all better now.

His gaze focuses on his legs, and he keeps humming as he stretches them out.

“I think... I think I’m mostly human again. But... I can feel the Goddess, and the seas, like I could when I was a mermaid.” He taps his hand against his chest, right where his heart is — the same place Hongjoong will sometimes refer to when he talks about his connection with _Ateez_.

Seonghwa laughs, a little hysterical. “A mermaid. I’m a _mermaid_.”

Hongjoong notes the present tense, something he’s not entirely sure Seonghwa realises himself. If he felt like he had lost connection with that part of him, he would say he _was_ a mermaid.

Hongjoong suspects the Goddess is, perhaps, a little fond of Seonghwa. That She’ll let him transform now with no limitations.

Still, it’s something to test another day: Hongjoong, and the crew, certainly have no plans to let him escape their sights for a while.

Seonghwa seems all too content with the idea, grinning as San squishes his cheeks together, claiming Seonghwa is now, officially, the ultimate treasure of the crew.

Seonghwa’s hand finds Hongjoong’s again, and there doesn’t need to be any words between them.

They’re both safe, the crew is safe, and they’re all properly together again.

That’s enough for now.

  
  


* * *

  
  
_Later._

Standing at the front of his ship, Hongjoong looks out to the sea as he sends thanks to the Goddess once again. At the end of his prayer, he turns to be met by Seonghwa, who just softly smiles at him and laces their fingers together.

“Where shall we head next, Captain?”

Hongjoong presses a kiss to Seonghwa’s cheek, overcome once again by the fact Seonghwa’s here with him, calling him Captain. That they were truly granted a second chance.

Seonghwa’s cheeks flare up immediately, not used to such public affection in front of the rest of the crew — who are hollering in uproar behind them, acting as scandalised as possible at their actions.

Hongjoong has thanked the Goddess every day without fail, but there’s still someone else he’d like to sincerely thank as well.

“Well, actually, I’ve been thinking. The sea witch that saved you.”

Seonghwa catches on immediately, nodding his head and smiling. “Mhm. Eden.”

“How would you like to see them again?”

Seonghwa tilts his head, exaggeratedly thinking about his answer. “I think the Goddess is upset with me for not visiting, so She’d help us find Eden if it means I go into the seas.”

Hongjoong can’t say he blames the Goddess for missing Seonghwa. He rolls his eyes, also all too aware that Seonghwa has stayed on the ship with them for many days and nights now, knowing that they’re all still unwilling to let him out of their sights.

And Hongjoong’s woken up now, every night, with Seonghwa by his side. His fear of Seonghwa suddenly disappearing, of suddenly forgetting, has been slowly abated.

The day is early, anyway, and Hongjoong doesn’t doubt Seonghwa will end up by his side come night.

“Then _Ateez_ will follow you, wherever you go.”

Seonghwa glances back at the rest of the crew, smiling fondly as they all do their best to eavesdrop on their conversation.

Seonghwa leans forward to kiss him quickly on the lips. “I know.”

Hongjoong can only think about their last journey, thinks nothing will ever be as hard of a journey as that one. Wherever they go, from here on out, it should at least be easier than to a mystical Goddesses’ cave and back.

Hongjoong’s pulled from his ruminating by a shirt being thrown at his face, and then other pieces of clothing following. Seonghwa’s delighted laughter fills the air, and Hongjoong just barely manages to pull the fabric away from his eyes in time.

He watches as Seonghwa dives overboard, ready for the seas to catch him.

And Hongjoong tells the Goddess look after him, even though he knows She will. There’s a nudge from the back of the boat, a wave that encourages them to move forward, and Hongjoong takes the signal.

He steps up behind the wheel of _Ateez_ , and San, now up in the crow’s nest, calls out the direction Seonghwa’s heading in.

And with another impatient nudge from the seas, Hongjoong readily follows his first mate into the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the support and lovely comments and such I got on the first chapter was so nice aaaaaa thank you all so much! my next plan is a royalty arranged marriage au, but that'll take a while, so until then i can be found [here](https://twitter.com/shiningstarhwa)  
> (pls I love screaming abt ateez and always love more friends)  
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> I've been following Ateez's music since their debut but only very recently learned their names, and tada here I am now almost 50k words later :')  
> (edit: turns out I was missing a 'g' from Hongjoong in this entire fic, so like... still learning apparently rip)
> 
> Also my pirate knowledge extends to Pirates of the Caribbean and the occassional ship layout reference on google, but hey, it's magic pirates anyway.
> 
> Anyway the full fic is completed, but I decided to break it into two chapters just to give it a bit of space. I've also created a brand new [twitter](https://twitter.com/shiningstarhwa)  
> (@shiningstarhwa) and I'd really like some friends <3


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